I hate that I'm here...sorry.

AJCagle82

Today marks one week since I was searching on my birth month board and baby name board. Last Thursday, at my regular checkup/ultrasound, the doctor told my husband and me that our little girl's heartbeat had stopped. I was induced later that day and gave birth to my perfect angel on Friday. She was absolutely gorgeous. She had her daddy's brow line, my lips, and big feet (attributed to her daddy-so precious). I still can't wrap my mind around the entire last week's events. I miss her so much. I was 6 months pregnant and thought I had finally made it to a place where I didn't have to worry. I didn't know how wrong I was.

I wasn't sure if I would be able to make it back on TB, but I am in such need of support and people who understand what we are going through. My mind is going crazy and I never know how I'll be from one moment to the next. My heart goes out to each one of you on this board. I know you wish you weren't here either.  

shandorfml2

I am so sorry to welcome you here. None of us want to be on this board. What was your angel's name? Do they know what happened? ((huge hugs)))  You can lean  on us. We have all been there.

JennyLynne

You are so early in your journey--be kind to yourself. Don't worry about your next moment, just work through the moment you're in. Someone said to me at one point, "you just have take it a day at a time." I corrected them and said, "No--a minute at a time." And if that's how you're feeling, that's okay. One thing that has helped me tremendously was finding an amazing therapist. I started 2 weeks after I gave birth to Astrid. 

I am so sorry you are here--we hate you have to be here too. Sending so many hugs. 

Noethola

I am so very sorry for the loss of your sweet daughter. You are amongst a wonderful group of grieving mothers. Please feel free to use this board however you need to: vent, cry, share a little joy, etc. We are on the worst journey anyone could possibly imagine. We are mothers that most of the world does not recognize as a mother. 

Its a surreal place to be, because we now live in an alternate reality from just about everyone else. Big ((hugs)) to you momma!

BrittianyM

So very sorry for the loss of your sweet little girl. Not fair you have to be here or anyone else for that matter.  We all are here for you whenever you need us. Sending thoughts and prayers your way.

Dixon813

I'm so very sorry for the loss of your precious baby girl.  It does suck to be a part of this "club" that no one seems to get unless they're also a part of it.  Do know that we are here for you however and whenever you need us.

As others have said, taking it moment by moment, whatever you need to do - do it.

Many hugs and prayers to you and your family.

AJCagle82

Thank you so much for the kind words. We are of the "one breath at a time" philosophy. Most of the time it really does feel that way. The night before we found out about her heartbeat, my husband and I settled on a name. Her name is Parker Jane. I know that unisex names/traditionally boy names on girls doesn't go over well on these boards, but I swear to you there was no other name that would have worked. It suited her so well. She is our sweet little Parker Jane and her daddy's little PJ. 

We still don't know what happened. They sent her to the medical examiner, but we haven't heard back yet. I have an appointment on Thursday to get some testing done. My doctor wants to test me to see if there is anything we should be on the lookout for during my {hopeful} next pregnancy. The truth, as many of you already know, is that we may never know what happened. That is a hard pill to swallow, but a reality we might have to face.

Carolee

I'm so sorry for the loss of your little girl. I love her name. I hate that you have to be here, but welcome to the board.

shandorfml2

I love her name. Parker is so gorgeous and unique for a girl! (Who cares what the other boards think). They never found out why my daughter passed either. In the beginning I was also a one moment at a time. Do whatever it takes to get through.

PerkyErky

***Siggy Warning***

I am so sorry to welcome you to this board and I am so incredibly sorry for the loss of your sweet daughter PJ.  Parker Jane is a beautiful name.

As others have said, take it a moment at a time and always remember, it's ok to not be ok. The women on this board are an amazing source of support. We all get it and wish no one else ever had to.

Welcome and big ((hugs))

OSUWifey09

***SIGGY WARNING***

Parker Jane is such a beautiful name. I'm so sorry to have to welcome you here, but you've found a great place for support. Unfortunately, we all know what it's like to be in your shoes, and I hate that you're here, too.

Like pp said, it's OK to not be OK. Take it easy on yourself, grieve the way you need to, and take it one day at a time. I'm really hoping you get some answers very soon. Sending lots of hugs and peace your way.

schulme2

I am so sorry you have to be here and I hope that you can find some sort of comfort being around the only people on the planet who understand the pain, confusion, longing and broken heart of losing a child. Parker Jane is a beautiful name and I hope that you can get some answers as to why she isn't here anymore.

angelsnight

Ticker warning

 

 

I'm so sorry for the loss of your sweet angel.  I hate that you have to be here too, but I am so glad that you found us.  This is a very amazing, supportive group.  I hope you find the comfort here that I have.  Huge hugs to you!

Jkerr924

I'm so sorry for your loss. I hate that you and everyone else has to be here. I freaking HATE it. I'm glad that you will have the love and the support from everyone here and myself. I love the name Parker!!