Natural Birth Classes without S/O?

hlm184

Hi all

Total newb here, so these might be stupid questions.

I want to go natural.  Obviously or I wouldn't be posting on this board, right?  Anyway, we live far away from family/friends (thanks, military), so the only one I will have with me during labor is my DH.  I'm reluctant to hire a doula - I'm a very private person and I can't imagine hiring a stranger for that!  Now, I want to take some classes to prepare, but my DH will be out of state during my 7th and 8th months.  Prior to that I am working full time and taking grad classes, plus some other commitments, so I don't know how I could fit a birthing class in then.

Can I do the classes without my DH?  What can DH do to "make up" for missing the classes to still learn what's going on and be helpful?  He's kinda afraid of blood, too, so I don't know how much help he'll be!  Should I rethink the doula thing?

Thanks for your advice!

Tigerlilym15

Yes, I think its possible to take the class without your DH. There are tons of books that you and your DH can read separately and then talk about together. If you decide on a particular method (like Bradley for example) your DH can read the books and you can practice some of the exercises together over the phone.
 
Doulas can be incredibly helpful so  I would seriously consider it if its within your budget. That being said, I didn't hire a doula the first time and had a great birth experience. I did have a helpful DH, a supportive midwife and a fantastic nurse. If you are planning to deliver in a very natural friendly place, you may have enough support without a doula. If you aren't sure how pro-natural your facility will be, I think a doula becomes more important.

Crinita

I would try to find someone to go with you just for support.  I tried going at first without DH and personally I found it extremely hard because I was the only one there without their SO.  If I was you, then I would probably seriously look into a doula. 

P.S. I found out the other day that there is such a thing as a volunteer doula, that is someone who has undergone the training but still needs to attend births to fully become a doula... which is an option if money is a concern (not sure if it is for you but it is nice to throw out there). 

aylafsu88

You could do classes without your H.  What you will really get out of it depends on the class.  We did the Bradley classes.  Honestly, it would have been a huge waste for me to take the class and not my H.  That class focused on teaching your H/SO how to be a coach for L&D.  I know that many instructors offer condensed versions on their class (my Bradley instructor did a special 2 weekend class for a military couple). I would suggest maybe contacting an instructor of a class you are interested in and seeing if they will do a condensed class or add a weekend class when your H is available.  Another thing, you don't have to take the classes at a specific time. Maybe you could take the class before your H leaves or when he gets back? The material may not be fresh in your mind or you may not finish the classes but at least your H will get some education.

As for the doula, I highly recommend one.  I am very private but knew I wanted a doula because I wanted to go natural and as a FTM felt I needed the extra support.  I meet with several and found one I was comfortable with.  I would suggest you meet with a few, maybe when you find one you are comfortable with you will be more open to the idea of having an outside support person there. In my labor a doula was essential.  My H and I had prepared but my labor was anything other than I expected.  My LO was OP and my contractions were sporadic. My doula got me into positions to help turn LO.  I also had the urge to push before I was completely dilated.  My doula talked me through contractions and helped my breathing so I would not push.  It was pure hell not pushing.  When I was pushing I freaked out because LO had a nuchal hand and it felt like I was being ripped open inside (I ended up with a second degree internal tear). My doula helped me calm down and focus again.  Yes, my H was prepared and went to the classes/learned the material but nothing could prepare him for the unexpected things in labor.

hlm184

Thanks for all the advice!  I'm going to talk to the midwife during my appt next week and see what she says, then DH and I will try to figure stuff out.