Is this normal? — The Bump
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Is this normal?

How often does your three year old have an accident? L has been in this phase where she won't go to the bathroom until she has to 911 go.  Sometimes she doesn't make it and has an accident.  Lately, she has been hiding her accidents from us.  She primarily wears dresses with shorts underneath.  So it is easy for her to hide.

We recently enrolled in a new daycare program.  We loved the last place we were at and we never had any of these issues.  The wetting thing only started up when we started here.  Fast forward to today and L had an accident at school and hid it from the teacher.  The teacher told L to clothes but to keep her wet underwear on.  We knew she had an accident and the teacher told us she had her change her clothes.  We had no idea that she was still wearing soaking wet underwear until bed time when she took off two pairs of panties.  L is telling me that the teacher told her she had to wear her wet underwear and put the dry ones on over them until bedtime.

I am about to loose my shit.

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Re: Is this normal?

  • Accidents happen.  E had accidents on rare occasion until she turned 4.  I think it's different for different kids.  We never made a big deal of it or made her feel bad about it, so she always told us if it happened.  However, I would have that teacher's A$$!!!!!  No 2 ways about it.  If she did, in fact, tell her to leave the wet underwear on, I would flip my $h!t.  No 2 ways about it.  Absolutely unacceptable.
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  • Cason used to do that more often, but he has gotten better. He would be playing and would not want to stop and then would end up peeing a little in his pants before making it to the toilet. He didn't completely soak himself, but enough that he needed to change underwear. I think that's pretty normal for them to misjudge how badly they need to do.

    Now, the stuff about the teacher possibly making her wear wet underwear? Hell no, I would freak...

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  • Sophie has been day time potty trained for 9 mos- bedtime is a whole other story. Accidents happen but for my kids, if they are happening more frequently then I find there is usually an underlying cause. Either an illness or a transition (new school for sure).

    And yeah, I would have major issue with the teacher telling her to keep wet undies on. Sophie's teacher told me to leave undies on under her pull-up at bedtime so she would feel wet, but they would never do it there. Also, I have to wonder how often they are doing a scheduled potty time at school if she's having accidents there. Ours does them frequently enough that there is barely any chance of an accident happening at school.

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  • We're clearly not at the potty training stage, but I have a friend who's daughter started to have more accidents once their second LO came along.  As PP mentioned, there's probably something underlying going, and it's probably the transition to the new school.  She doesn't have many things she can control, but this is one of them.

    As for the wet underwear, I'd speak to the teacher about it before getting too upset.  Things can get lost in translation, and this may be one of them.  Also speak to the teacher about working with you to help her get back to her routine without accidents.  She should be working with you on this!
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