Parenting after a Loss

My FIL is a (insert swear word here)

Last year we had Thanksgiving at our house because we didn't want to alternate and have one set of grandparents miss DS's first Thanksgiving.  We usually alternate between DH's side and mine.  Well it went really well and it was great to not have to travel (DH's family alternates every year between a different house in a different state, so some years it's in NY, some years in OH, some years in MI).  We decided after the craptastic OH weekend we just had, we would like to make a new tradition and have Thanksgiving at our house with both families this year.

I send out an email invite to our families inviting them and FIL immediately responds to DH only saying that being a grown up is about taking turns and we had Thanksgiving last year.  Further, he wishes I had asked his permission before sending out an invitation to do Thanksgiving at our house.  He then says that as long as his MIL is in an assisted living home (she's okay, just old and unable to live on her own) in MI, they are going to have Thanksgiving in MI from now on.  He concludes by saying, we hope your family (not my parents/sister that I just invited to our house) will come to MI, but they certainly will not be coming to our house for Thanksgiving this year.

I'm sorry but since when do I need to ask my FIL for permission to invite our families to my house?  And how is it taking turns if it's just going to be in MI from now on?  I should also add that this taking turns obviously has a strange definition, since DH never once in his entire life had Thanksgiving with his mother's side of the family, just his dad's.  It could not have been a ruder response, and not open for discussion.  The good news is, we figured they wouldn't come because they like to do what they like to do and they raised a stink last year about having to come to our house, and now DH doesn't feel bad about it because what an @$$hole.  Thanks for listening ladies.  ARGH.

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Re: My FIL is a (insert swear word here)

  • Geez, I feel so sorry for you having to deal with that!  You are your own family now and you have to do what you want to do.  I'm glad you and DH seem to be on the same page.  Both DH and I have divorced parents so that makes it tough when so many grandparents want us to visit them instead of just coming to us.  As soon as DH finishes school and we settle into our permanent home, we plan to do holidays at our house too.  What an a-hole!

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  • Wow. I'm sorry you are dealing with the holiday family drama so soon.  Sounds like a happier Thanksgiving without him.

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  • I'm so sorry. That would Piss me off. Since moving to Texas we've been able to figure it out. My brother and SIL just bought a house and I hope they don't try and host something. We have the houses broken down perfect. Last thanksgiving was a surprise since Jackson came the Sunday before but usually we are all at my aunt and uncles. Thankfully DH's family fits in with my family

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  • That is terrible. I'm sorry you have to deal with someone like that. You need to do what's best for your family and I wouldn't give in to FIL. He needs a time out.
    TTC January 2010
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