First baby Not telling anyone Have so many questions!

Alilewis2014

This is our first pregnancy and we have decided to wait to tell anyone. Is this hard for anyone else to do? Every time I see someone new I want to tell them but we are also very aware of miscarriage and the possibility so I will wait. What do YOU do while you are waiting to tell people?

kmatz10

This is our first pregnancy as well, and I totally understand what you are going through.  We found out about 2 weeks ago, and at first, it was tough.  I just wanted to shout it to the world as soon as we found out, but knew about the possibilities of a miscarriage.  I've just found that over time, it get's a little easier.  Almost like it's lost that shiny new feeling (although we are still overly excited).  I'm sure as each day passes, you will find that you are more and more content with keeping it a secret a bit longer.  Good luck!

Dolly030

Bite my tongue!! I'm 5w6d and it is soooo hard!! Although I love that me and DH have a secret that no one else knows yet!

Alilewis2014

Thank you and congratulations! How do you plan on telling your families?

caybeh

It's tough. I just went out for coffee with one of my friends that is also expecting her second, but she's due in Feb. It was so hard not to say anything. We are going to see my parents this weekend, and my H wants to wait a little bit before we tell them, so that will be even harder.

mcselfoneal

My husband and I have been trying for over 27 months for baby #1.   We've had several friends who were also dealing with infertility and our parents were active in assisting with the treatments (insurance wouldn't cover it).  I got the BFP on Grandparent's Day (10dpo), and we couldn't help it. I called my sis to see if she agreed with what I was about to do. We went and told both sets of parents. Since then, we've told 5 couples that were struggling with infertility with us.  We think we might not wait the whole 12 weeks to tell the remaining 12 friends and 30 family members that really matter.  We might hold off to tell our whole church and the FB world until the 12 week mark .... but SO MANY PEOPLE have been following our situation so closely, most of them ask me on a weekly basis how things are going.

AliandPmommy

For me it helps posting online things about the early pregnancy. I get to talk about it and that calms me down. I am planning to wait until week 8-9 after a positive u/s to tell family and close friends

MMason12

I am 4w3d and we found out we were pregnant a week ago when I was 9 DPO.  So far we haven't told anyone yet, besides you ladies online and one other pregnancy group that I am a member of on Facebook. 

Before we were pregnant we would talk about when and how we would tell our parents.  My parents live 30 minutes away from us and his parents live out of state and are almost 17 hours away.  Our plan was that we would tell parents when we were around 8-10 weeks along after we had our first appointment; however, things in life rarely worked out how you plan then -- specially when it comes to pregnancies! 

My in-laws have had a trip to MI planned for 3 months now and they get into town sometime later today.  Luckily, they are stay are my sister-in-laws which is about 1.5 hours away from us so they won't be able to see all the baby stuff we have in the nursery already.  (We are not superstitious at all and we've been buying baby items here and there since we started ttc.) 

On Wednesday we are having dinner with both my in-laws and my parents, which we've had planned for months since we knew they were coming into town.  Even though we will only be 5w1d and it is much sooner than we had ever planned on telling them -- we are going to be telling both of our parents that evening at dinner that we are pregnant.  The weekend of the 27th & 28th we are going to be seeing my Grandparents who we are very close with and we are going to tell them that we are pregnant.  If anything were to happen to the baby at this point we would tell all of them about it anyways, so we feel comfortable telling them.  We will be asking all of them not to say anything to anyone until we tell them that's okay -- and thank goodness they will all be able to do that, even though they are going to be excited!! 

We plan on telling our siblings after our first appointment on October 7th - we will be 8 weeks at that point.  And then we will slowly tell our other close family and friends as we see them after that.  Around 12 weeks we will make a public announcement on Facebook. 

In the meantime, I have found it really helpful to do little things here and there around the house to prepare for our little one. 

gutsysneakers

Congratulations on your BFP! 

I just got mine on 9/10 and told my husband on 9/12. I needed some time to soak it all in - we were trying, but we had only "tried" for 1 cycle. I told my husband and we're both nervous and excited at the same time - more elated than anything! 

I'm only 4 weeks 1 day (add a week going by last AF - 5 weeks, but I think that's wrong). The only people who know are all of you ladies and I told my coworker and close friend. She's exactly one week ahead of me and I'm happy we get to share in our excitement/nausea together! My husband was on board with that decision. 

Both of our families (with the exception of my sister) live in different states so it will be pretty easy to keep this from them for a little bit. We're keeping mum about Squishy until Thanksgiving. Both of our families will be there and it will be the perfect time (15-16 weeks). His family has a tradition where everyone says what they are thankful for - so I'll get to say something along the lines of we are thankful we'll have another person at this table next year I just don't know how I'm going to keep this from my sister since she lives so close to me!  

Hollyannbuckingham

We also are not telling until at least twelve weeks. This is our first pregnancy and we are so excited but also worried and scared. I told one friend at work that has three children, one just born in May. It has helped to have someone I know personally and trust and can go to for advice and questions that won't be spilling the beans to my family! Im also really going to try to enjoy this personal time and time with my husband.

Tholder627

I completely understand! I have family coming town for the weekend and have been busy hiding all evidence. I just hope I don't get sick while they are here.

Tifers777

We have told all of our families! They all asked me when we will put it in FB and I'm waiting until we go in 2 weeks. Of which I will be 8 weeks. My sister made a good point and said why wait? If you have a miscarriage you will have a wonderful support group of people who love you. If you don't tell anyone you won't have anyone to talk to about it as you would if everyone knows. And reading about pregnancy these two weeks they encourage you to tell everyone. So we are!

ajsweeton

mcselfoneal said:

My husband and I have been trying for over 27 months for baby #1.   We've had several friends who were also dealing with infertility and our parents were active in assisting with the treatments (insurance wouldn't cover it).  I got the BFP on Grandparent's Day (10dpo), and we couldn't help it. I called my sis to see if she agreed with what I was about to do. We went and told both sets of parents. Since then, we've told 5 couples that were struggling with infertility with us.  We think we might not wait the whole 12 weeks to tell the remaining 12 friends and 30 family members that really matter.  We might hold off to tell our whole church and the FB world until the 12 week mark .... but SO MANY PEOPLE have been following our situation so closely, most of them ask me on a weekly basis how things are going.

This is exactly where we were the first time. We felt like we had to tell everyone everything right away. This time, we still haven't told our parents. We're waiting until we've had a couple of u/s first. And that coincides with my SIL visiting from Wyoming so it all works out.

kerose1437

I am 6w1day and I had a miscarriage last thanksgiving. I learn my lesson about telling people too my father put it on Facebook so everyone that I work with knew and I had keep telling everyone I had a miscarriage. This time we are waiting till the 2 nd trimester to tell anyone and it just so happens that it is about the time of my Halloween party so my costume is bun in the oven and my husbands is bun maker so that's when and how we are going to tell people and our family's

lindseyreis

I am also having the same problem.  I told my husband that this secret is killing me!!! Fortunately, I have a close coworker and friends, who I confided in.  I think we are going to wait until after our first U/S to tell our families because I'll be 8 weeks at that time.  We will probably wait until the 12 week mark to make the big announcement to everyone!

alphalyrae

We went public to family and friends when we saw the heart beat at 6 weeks 4 days. If anything happened, we would be devastated and would want our family and friends to know and be able to provide us with love and support. My husband's job knows because they tried to decline his day off from work. My job will not know anything until the end of October after our NT scan.

awc1986

it's just me, DH and my HR manager who know and she only knows because i need time off for an early scan on tuesday. 

We told everyone between 5wks-10wks last time and discovered i'd had a missed miscarriage at my 1st scan, which was 12wks 5days. It was awful because we thought we were 3 months and in the clear.  

It's actually been a piece of cake keeping it quiet this time because we learnt the hard way last time. We haven't even agreed when we're going to tell, apart from telling my dad after the scan on tuesday (if everything is ok). I'll be 7wks 2 days then. I think we'll wait until we've had a good 2nd scan at around 12 wks before telling family and probably towards 4 months before "announcing". 

I know it sounds bad but we're finding the thought of telling people harder than not telling people. 

ivie037

This is also our first pregnancy and we also wanted to keep it a secret, atleast till the first u/s but we just couldn't keep it from our families. Yesterday we spilled the beans and in the end whatever happens its good to have family support we bought a box for our parents and put a pacifier in it an told then it was a very early Christmas gift. For my sister and my sisters in law (I have 3) I sent them a very clever email and then waited for the phone calls! it was probably one of the best feelings ever, seeing so much joy!

shorty2092

this is my first pregnancy and I am also waiting till the 12 wk mark....since I was also having trouble conceiving and working with fertility doctors, we told the parents/in-laws and siblings after my first U/S with the fertility doc (showed at that point i was 5weeks).  Since then, I only told 1 coworker that I am very close with since I think it is important that someone knows your medical condition "in case."  i almost fainted at work (heat got to me and wasn't drinking enough water) this week and it was nice that i had 1 person to run to for help, calm me down, etc.

granted, i've only known about my pregnancy for less than 2 weeks and i'm only considered 6 weeks now, but it has been easy to hide so far.  i used my fertility issues as a "crutch" and told people "don't ask, its a touchy subject" haha also, people know i've been on and off not drinking because of trying lol....let them guess, they aren't allowed to ask, "i'm still very sensitive" hahahahaha cannot wait to tell at 12 weeks (end of october-ish)

Turn4Cindy

We are waiting until after our first US on the 27th to tell family and closest friends. Just DH and a close work friend know (just in case) right now. We had an ectopic and emergency surgery in Dec 2011, so it hasn't been hard to keep it a secret after that experience.

chargers32

This is our 3rd baby, we wait until 12/13wks each time. I love having a secret between dh and I. It does get hard sometimes and I do a lot of fake drinking lol. But I also love doing our reveals. It helps having my internet friends

pistolpackinmomma

@turn4cindy - I'm sorry to hear about your ectopic. I had a blighted ovum before conceiving my son. I understand how it makes it way easier to keep the secret.

hfooter

We can't keep it a secret, we are both horrible liars and people just ask and can read it on our faces. So if I miscarry then that happens. It will suck but Luckily I have many friends who have dealt with that to help support me. Also, we were fortunate in getting pregnant so quickly and my friend who miscarried her first and then got pregnant right after, told me, if it happens at least you know you can get pregnant. I'm still freaking out and wish I could keep my mouth and my hubs shut but we are failing lol.

Tootistar22

My DH & I recently just MC and had to go through telling everybody. We just found out that we're pregnant again & have decided to hold off on telling people. It is hard not to at least tell our parents.

mya1218

I'm 5 1/2 weeks and we told our immediate families as soon as the doctor confirmed with a blood test. We spoke to them and told them we are aware of what can happen but in the event that something does happen my hubby and I want family support. It's our first also and we've been trying for a while so I don't think I would handle it well. It's nice to be able to talk to my mom and my sisters-in-law who are moms about it and all of my questions and concerns and hopes. It's also nice to know we have people sending us prayers and good vibes. I wouldn't want to keep it a secret if something did happen and have to act all normal with my family. That would be awful for us.

blairhillary

It's so hard to keep it a secret. It will say, however, that I had a miscarriage in May and we told people when we found out we were pregnant because we were so excited. When the miscarriage happened, I was so glad to have so many people there for support. It would have been weird I think to be like "oh yeah I'm not going to be at work because I had a miscarriage...and no one even knew I was pregnant." Anyway, we are pregnant again but have decided this time to only tell family and we are keeping it secret from friends until 12 weeks.