Reciprocal IVF Questions!

2NewMoms

For those of you carrying your wifes/partners baby, I have a few questions for you! Initially, we wanted to do reciprocal IVF, but it ended up being MUCH more expensive that we thought! Also, we met a lot of road blocks that kept us from pursuing this option (which we still intend to do for Baby #2).

1) FDA genetic testing - this was going to run us 5k. It isn't' covered by insurance and is the same EXACT test that we already had done at our fertility clinic.
2) We were told that my wife's egg would have to be signed away to me as a "donor egg", and she'd have to waive all rights to the egg. Experiences with this (or more information)?
3) The cost was around 20k and again not covered by insurance. Does this seem right?

Thanks everyone! This will definitely help with Baby #2, or even Baby #1, since I'm on TTC 3 and haven't gotten a BFP yet!

KezziRiv

We did reciprocal IVF and had to have our own lawyers ( 1 each) to protect the rights on the egg. We never signed away rights on the egg as per our lawyers advice. The clinic worked with us on that. The costs sound about right, that was our experience. The laws are a little behind so one of you will be considered a donor OR a surrogate until you have paperwork stating otherwise. You still have to follow FDA regulations surrounding donor eggs ( i.e. testing and counseling) but at least that way you both are still tied to the baby.

Manada

We're in Canada so any of the research I've done on this won't really apply to you. 

But for the sake of sharing -- for us here we work with a clinic that has really done a lot of work in learning to cater to queer couples.  That much is most obvious when we talked with our doc about doing reciprocal IVF - basically for us it was the same costs as an OOP IVF cycle ($8000-$12000 here) plus another $2000 approx for the cycle coordination at the clinic level.    I believe we would have had to sign a similar contract to the ones provided to hetero couples about ownership of the eggs/embryos in the event of the dissolution of our marriage, but they essentially would have been considered our shared property from the moment of retrieval.  

Our plan is to do a fresh transfer into H. for now, and save any (hopefully!) remaining embryos for a 2nd pregnancy if we can -- meaning that we will be doing reciprocal IVF at a later date.   My understanding right now is that it doesn't really change if we're doing it now vs. later - - those embryos are our shared property and we made them together, so the Ontario law will likely regard them as such in the event of our separation, or if one of us passes away they will become the sole property of the other one. 

If our clinic tried to charge us and coordinate us as if we were a surrogate/donor couple I would be pretty upset.  That said, I am aware that having our marriage and parenting rights protected by law here makes a big difference for us.    I hope you're able to negotiate something with the clinic though that they don't charge you through the nose for unnecessary stuff that you would include with a donor cycle, but that you don't need because you're a couple.

2NewMoms

Thanks!! We go to the Reproductive Science Center in New England. I absolutely LOVE it there. Although pricier than some others, it's totally worth it

And thanks for the signature advice!

2NewMoms

Thank you for sharing your stories!! We will definitely be doing it for Baby #2! And again, maybe even Baby #1 if we have to go the medicated route. Since this will be our 3rd insemination, we'll have to move to medicated IUIs soon. IUI Tomorrow!!!!!

2NewMoms

Thank you!!!

2NewMoms

herbabymama, Looks like your due date is creeping up Congratulations!!