Well Hello There BREAKING POINT!

JBDamonM

Well, as you all know it's been a rough go in my neck of the woods for the past week or so.

The past three nights have been better than the three before that but such a far cry from where we should be.

Last night DD put herself to bed at 7:45. SHe slept until about 11, and of course woke up right as I was falling asleep..... I was frustrated. Yes she eats every 3 hours during the day, but I really didn't think she was hungry. I gave her the boob anyways because I figured if I topped her off she may actually give me a good stretch. She fell asleep, and as soon as I put her in her crib the fussing began.

I pretty much snapped. I am so overtired and knew I had an early meeting at work today. I feel like my job performance has completely slipped since coming back to work and I"m struggling to keep my head above water. I can not continue to get such horrible sleep. She's 5 months old  now and should be sleeping more than 4 hours. (especially when she used to)....

I put her in her crib and let her cry. DH (who had fallen asleep on the couch) came running and picked her up and changed her diaper which sent her into an utter tail spin. I got her calmed down, had a quick argument with my husband on how he is all talk on getting her on cereal and sleep training and then took matters into my own hands.

I put her in the crib awake and fussing. I set the timer on my phone for 5 minutes. At the end of that time I went back in and soothed her while laying down. I gave myself 2 minutes and if she hadn't calmed down after that I was out for another 5. I was prepared to repeat this until she either fell asleep or got inconsolable. I simply could not take it anymore and thought to myself, it doesn't look like we're on track for a good night anyways, might as well try and work through it.

Didn't even need the full 2 minutes before she conked out. No idea if it was a fluke - but she slept for 5 hours. Since things fell apart last week she's only given me one 5 hour stretch.

I am going to stick with this cycle and hope it works. I figure I can probably increase to 7 minutes next week, but since we are away one night this weekend I need to be mindful that that's probably going to mess with her even more. I also decided she will not get the boob in the MOTN unless it's been more than 2.5 hours since she last woke up. She's only nursing out of comfort and I"m about ready to be done with breastfeeding anyways. I've been supplementing for a month now and I know she's getting plenty to eat all day - it's time that equates to better sleep.

FX that this is the beginning of a turning point in our house. Can't say I'm incredibly optimistic, but I'm daring to dream (PUN INTENDED)......

 

TJ1979

I'm sorry you hit your breaking point, but I am glad you both got some much needed sleep.  I hope things get better and better.  When we tried to break the comfort nursing over night habit, we had a rule that if it was the first 4 hours of the night, MH had to go in and deal with her.  If it was the 2nd 4 hours, it was me.  I knew that she could go 4 hours or more without eating overnight, so I wouldn't feed her unless things got really bad and MH was overwhelmed.  (I hope that doesn't sound cruel, it was the best way for MH to be involved, and me to actually get some sleep from time to time.)
Sometimes you just need to give babies a chance to work it out on their own.  Now sometimes they just need their mommy, but sometimes if you give them a chance, they can do it.  And that sounds like exactly what LO needed.  Bravo to your plan, and I hope it keeps working.  Sweet dreams!

ccam

I'm so happy that you got a 5 hour stretch!!

It was right around at this point where we hit a breaking point, too (4.5 / 5 months).  And we started sleeping training on a whim after a super frustrating night, just like you're describing.  I knew he wasn't hungry every 2 hours but he would still eat every last drop.  After sleep training though, he would make it until 3 or 4am and after a few weeks of that, he would go straight through the night.  I think not only were we frustrated, but so was he!!  He was begging to learn how to put himself back to sleep.  I just imagined myself in bed not being able to fall asleep and I know how frustrating it is!!  Hope it works out for you guys.

CallMeAl

I have totally been where you are right now. And if you need to do some sleep training (it sounds like fairly gentle sleep training to me, too), then so be it. We did. I couldn't take it any more. Sometimes, you just.have.to.sleep! I hope it keeps working and gets even easier.

JBDamonM

Thanks for the support ladies!!! I just hope the 5 hours wasn't just a fluke and that maybe we can work with this.

mcgeeva

Eek sounds rough. Do you think you want to start solids in the next month to really keep her full all night? It could just be a rough patch. Hopefully tonight will be better for you!

JBDamonM

mcgeeva said:

Eek sounds rough. Do you think you want to start solids in the next month to really keep her full all night? It could just be a rough patch. Hopefully tonight will be better for you!

Yes! I plan on starting them after her 6 month appointment which is on October 8th.

I've also wondered if we're just at a bad in between point. She's rapidly pushed her bedtime back over an hour in less than a month (all on her own)......And she's a tiny thing - not even 15 lbs, which is why for a while I really believed she was waking up because she was hungry...But I've also realized that we seem to be facing the same issues no matter how much she eats before bed, which makes me realize its not all hunger. REALLY hoping it gets better soon.

pb_bride

Don't be so hard on yourself, as your sanity is important too!  I sleeptrained M just when he hit 4 months, because I couldn't take it anymore.  His naps were hell and I SAH; it was so bad that we both cried all day long.  Sleep training was tough on me, but I was so glad I did it.  Since then, he sleeps and naps so much better so BOTH of us are happy during the day.

Hope things continue to improve for you!

laura1

That is how it has always happened with us too...Started sleep training when I couldn't take it any more, pretty much a spur of the moment decision!  DS was horrible (took 2 nights of 1.5 hours of crying about 2 times a night before he stopped waking up at night and only cried for 10 minutes at bed the 3rd night), but DD#2 has dealt with the training like a champ.  Not much crying before going to sleep and only ever cried for 10 minutes at most.  DD#1 was a dream - she never needed anything!  If she had been my first, I would have thought I was the best parent ever

Hopefully she will do well for you tonight!

RoseHQ12

I hope that 5 hour stretch continues tonight & improves from here. It's so hard to think straight when you are sleep deprived for a long period of time. It sounds like you are moving in the right direction.

mcgeeva

It'll get there just stick to what your doing. I feel like anything at that age can throw them off - one day of a huge growth spurt and being hungry all day and night - can throw you off for two weeks. When DS learned to roll over - two weeks of hell at night then totally back to norm. I just say stick to your nomral routine as much as possible and she will get back to it. And when in doubt in the middle of the night feed her - and if it's truly her just pacifing herself - then she needs to get herself back in the habbit of self soothing. Hang in there!

jessica_gail2

Hey JB! So sorry last night was so awful but yay for sleep training! I hope it goes extra smoothly and y'all can all get some much-needed rest! Isn't it funny how hubbies think they have all the answers but often end up muddling things? :-)

imoverit

Wow mama Im soooo proud of you for sticking it through. That was not easy especially with lack of sleep and DH "messing" things up. Hope this is the beginning of more sleep.

Dragonfly1226

I am so sorry you have had such a rough time! We also Ferbered DS around 5 months when we reached the end of our rope. Best thing we ever did. GL hon!