Drowning... it gets better, right?

ChattyCathy81

Hi all. My frat twin boys are about 5 weeks old and are pretty challenging as far as newborns go. I also have a 2 yo daughter at home, and my DH is now back to work full time.

The boys are a lot to manage, obviously, but my DD is about to put me over the edge at times. She refuses to use the potty now and we've had to put her back in diapers. She is rough with thr babies at times and she seeks a lot of negative attention.

I'm giving her as much individual time as I can, but I feel as if I'm drowning at times.

BTDT MoMs, when does this get better? There are times when I just break down crying in front of my DD because of yhe stress.

Sorry for any typos... I'm on my phone.

ceechie

I know this might sound trivial, but I hide candy. I have my fav candies stashed where I can just walk by and grab a couple when I feel super stressed out. This and coffee. When they ("they" being my 4yo and 2yo and 2mos twins) are pushing me right off the cliff, a couple of chocolate covered marshmallows take the edge off.
But babies are only babies for less then a year.
Also, to help with the 2 yo, my pediatrician had the best advice. He told us that newborns don't know how long they are crying for. Whether 2 mins or 10. But the toddler always knows if you attend to the babies before her. Give her some control back. Ask her if she needs anything and can go help the babies. This trick helped my kids adjust to the new babies so much. And if she tells you that you can't help the babies, it won't last long. She'll let you help them in less then 5 mins.
Good luck and babies aren't babies forever!

kgs0505

I agree with ceechie - let your dd know the babies need to eat now (be changed, bathed etc), but is there anything she needs before you do that?  Would she like a snack, a drink, a trip to the potty?

Also, if you can get someone to take her to the park or some other outing once a day, it'll help her run off some energy.  All my kids are now in daycare, but weekends it's just me and them.  It's tough, but it definitiely gets better.  Mainly our outings involve a trip to target or the grocery store, but at least it gets everyone out of the house for an hour or two and breaks up the day.  Plus, at the store, my son pretty much gets my undivided attention because he's sitting in front of me in the cart, whereas I am dragging the DSNG behind me with the girls.  The girls are usually pretty content as long as they are moving in the stroller.

wille2b

It will get bettter, it will just take time. My ds was about 2.5 when the babies came and I had to hold off on the potty business until the babies got older. Eliminate things that dont need to be done right now. At this age all I did was feed babies, pump, and feed my toddler. Like pp said, see if someone can take her to the park, we asked family to take our ds for a special morning where everything was about him. Def give her some control over small things, it will go a long way, believe me! Stock up on favorite movies, coloring books, and stickers. Remember everything is a phase, it will slowly but surely get better..I promise!