what has H never done?

Stefanie6743

My H is pretty hands off with DS. He has never given him a bath, never clipped his nails, never put him down at night, never gotten up for MOTN feedings ( well..the boob thing and all).  He has changed a few diapers..changed his clothes a few times.  How hands off ( or on) is your H??

kacelle

Yikes!  DH changes almost all of the diapers when he's home (we use CDs) and gives DD #1 her baths (he's also bathed LO, but doesn't always).  He does bedtime with DD #1 most of the time and helps put LO to bed.  He's always been really comfortable with parental things, despite not having any baby experience before the girls.  

He never feeds the baby, as she's EBF.  He does make me and DD #1 dinner a lot of nights though, so I guess he feeds her indirectly?  Haha.

Mufflerlove

He has never clipped her nails. But I think he has done everything else. He was very hands on but the novelty is wearing off and he's starting to do less and want to do his own thing more.

equestrianmom

My H comes home from work and refuses to let me have my LO. Granted, the break is nice but I feel like he overstresses himself.

mamainVA2013

DH is pretty hands on with DD. He has and will do anything with her, but sometimes I have to ask him. The only thing he has really never done is middle of the night feedings. Unfortunately, he works in college athletics so there are many nights and weekends during the school year he isn't home until late, so most responsibilities fall on my shoulders.

HeartLikeMine3

I don't trust him to clip nails but after I've clipped I've had him file. He does all diapers after work and always puts him in his Jammie's and swaddles then I feed and put to bed. We're a team, he hasn't done bath time but that's because I'm a baby hog and enjoy bath time. He's a good dad of course he still gets I go and do more than me but that's because I EBF

Edited to add he will not get boogers out that grosses him out more than anything he won't even watch me!

cynthia2007

My hubby and I got into an argument tonight bc he is very helpful except when it comes to changing poopy diapers. I do most diaper changes, feed her, get her and bottles ready for daycare, MOTN feedings etc. An occasional dirty diaper won't kill you!

megaroo64

My H has never clipped B's nails, but other than tht he is all hands on deck. He does most of the baths, and tons of diaper and clothes changes. He only feeds when I am gone- I BF so he can't help there.

musicalsilver

DH will do pretty much whatever I ask him to (alright, that sounds bad, but it's not really what I meant ...)

He's never clipped LO's nails or given him a bath solo (he's helped me when LO was smaller and slippery-er, and will set up bath things), but beyond that, he's pretty good.  He rarely washes bottles for daycare, and doesn't get up much in the MOTN - but more because I let him sleep, not that he wouldn't help.

WasNotWas

H doesn't do
doctors appointments
nail clipping
Daycare pickup/drop off
Feed Ty (we EBF)
Booger picking and ear cleaning

He does do
Bath time (I friggin hate giving baths)
Diapers
Paci patrol (when Ty just needs to be plugged in, not fed, at night)
Wash bottles

We have our roles pretty clearly defined since this isn't our first rodeo

KellenHi21

DH is pretty good about helping if I let him know what he can do so he has done everything except clip nails and feed (lo is EBF)... He also doesn't put him to bed since I feed him then just lay him down for the night, but he gets up for motn feelings to change lo's diaper while I pee!

PurpleFrog15

My hubby does pretty much everything and is super helpful. He feels completely guilty that because I breastfeed, I have to be up more than him, so sometimes he'll wake up with me and change the diaper, get him reswaddled, get me some water and then ask if I need anything before heading back to bed. He is the official nail clipper and he does most baths if he is home at the time. I'm still on maternity leave, and sometimes he would get home and I'd be like, hey babe, what's for dinner. I've gotten a bit better at surviving these past couple of weeks. He will drop off at daycare and I will pickup. He also is really good at putting our son to sleep, because he loves sleeping on his chest, and won't ever doe it on mine. I couldn't ask for a better dad.

PinkPuffyHeart2

Doesn't do drs appts unless I go too...

No baths alone.

No nail clipping.

No MOTN anything.

No feeding unless she gets a bottle (EBF, and bottles are rare and I still usually feed her)

Sometimes helps get her in jammies.

Does diapers if I ask.

Does wash the nipple shield when I ask.

Does wash pump parts if I ask, but that's rare.

Will help put the diaper bag together but I have to tell him what to put in.

 

JessicaKS

He has never given a bath or MOTN feedings because LO is BF. He also won't put away her laundry because he claims he doesn't understand how I have organized her drawers. That last one is kinda my fault though - I am kinda anal and would rather keep her drawers organized my way!

He does everything else. I call him the "baby manicurist" because he files and clips her nails all the time. He does diapers all the time too. He gives bottles and genuinely likes doing it. He is terrible at getting clothes on and off her but he tries to dress her. He also comes to all her pedi appointments and makes sure we are doing enough tummy time!

RedCherry1109

Does:

Bathtime

Bottle feeding (When U pump)

Paci's

Put to sleep

Diapers

Getting him dressed

Don't:

Nail Clippings

MOTN Feeds

Dr. Appts(he works)

dmlk413

DH pretty much does what I do except he has never gotten up in the MOTN. I'm BF so he thinks he gets a pass.

Achae

Mine helps with anything I ask except motn feedings. Thankfully for my sanity baby girl now sleeps through the night so I don't have to argue about that issue!

LaBellaVida

Does:

baths

diaper change

bottle feed (when I am at work)

rocks him

pushes his stroller

carries him in his k'tan

changes his clothes

plays with him

goes to his Dr. appts (with me)

puts lotion on him

does his laundry

folds his laundry

sometimes gets up in MOTN (to change his diaper before I feed him) 

Doesn't do:

nail clipping (I am sure he would though...I've just always done it) 

Washes Cloth Diapers (I haven't taught him how yet, he doesn't want to mess them up)

Wash his bottles. (this drives me crazy...not hard- but he leaves them by the sink at night so I can wash. 

LiLi23

He has never given a bath, given him a bottle, held him more than ten minutes, clipped/filed his nails (but neither have I). I has changed a few diapers, but none for the first two weeks DS was here. I put him to bed/get him to sleep.

But he usually takes over for my two year old when he gets home. Granted, I put her to bed, too. But at least he can bathe her and get her ready for bed.

Maelara

My DH does pretty much everything. He doesn't do nails and I do any MOTN stuff as I have a whole year off. He helps with MOTN stuff on weekends though and he will get up to reswaddle her every night. DH hasn't bathed N alone yet but he always helps with it. 

DH is very hands on and loving towards N. I couldn't ask for a better partner to raise children with!

BC&LM

My husband is extremely hands-on. When he is home, we split the baby care pretty much 50/50. The only thing I can think of that he has never done that I have is clipped his nails.

ETA: I can actually think of a couple of things I have never done that my husband has. I have never done LO's laundry. I am a huge klutz and fell down the basement stairs two or three times when carrying laundry down before, so my husband said he doesn't want me doing the laundry anymore because he is afraid I will fall again. So I haven't done any laundry in a couple of years. (I'm not complaining! One less chore for me!) I do the folding and all though. I also am nervous about giving my son medicine, so for now, my husband always gives it. If I were ever home alone and LO needed medicine though, I would do it; that just hasn't happened yet.

CindyRelluh

Oh gosh, I'm sorry. My h tries to do everything. He did MOTN feedings so I could catch up on sleep, he changes diapers, and their nightly bath time/bed routine is his thing. He loves it! I take care of them during the day, then when he's off work their napping so we get some time to hang. Once they're up he takes them outside to play with the neighbors while I cook if I'm not working. It's very 50/50, we are totally a team.

llbta85

My H is about the same as yours... but I don't think he's ever changed her clothes. He went to the first doctor apt because i couldnt drive but hasn't been to one since. He also won't interact with her one on one unless I ask him to.

CindyRelluh

I'm not sure what kind of dad chooses to be totally hands off. Shouldn't be having kids if you are going to be lazy and let mom do everything. Sorry, but I guess I was blessed with an awesome H.

needanustart

nykkolhooks said:

I SAH and he works 12 hr shifts. I also EBF. he mainly helps by changing diapers, we CD, and playing with her so I can shower, cook, clean, etc...

Pretty much this. We also have a two year old and when DH gets home from work he does everything for ds1 while I nurse. Feeding, bathing and putting the tornado to bed is a challenge so I'll take nursing the peanut!

jgiraldo1120

My H is pretty hands in and has done it all except put her to bed at night. It's mostly jjust because That's mine and LOs bonding time and we have a our little routine, but if he had to, he'd definitely put her to bed. He clipped her nails first because I was always to scared.

llbta85

TabbiC said:

I'm not sure what kind of dad chooses to be totally hands off. Shouldn't be having kids if you are going to be lazy and let mom do everything. Sorry, but I guess I was blessed with an awesome H.

Not that I excuse my husband's approach to DD, but with the other 3 he is a good dad.  He just struggles with babies.  When he is home he often helps DS in the shower and getting ready for bed, he visits his other children that live 1.5 hours each way, away several times a week and works 12 + hour days, so its definitely not laziness.

BunnyLove416

I can't think of anything he hasn't done that I have.... I guess daycare drop off/pick up but that's because it's by my work and LO only goes to daycare when Dad works. He does the majority of the baths, nail clipping, temp taking. He gets up every feeding at night to change LO's diaper and get me anything I might want. 

In fact he's done things that I've never done, like LO's laundry (well all the laundry, that's a boy job in my house) and for a while he was the booger sucker. 

There are things I do more because we've figured out it works better, like I put LO to bed now etc. but he's done it all.

Shanna729

DH has done everything and more with DS. At 8pm every night after DS's bath I actually get kicked out of the nursery while they have "man time" and he rocks him to sleep every night. It's slightly offensive but DH says that since I get his mornings to get him up, get him ready and take him to daycare, he gets his night time routine.

 

I knew when I married him he'd be a fabulous Daddy. That's why I made a baby with him!

Stefanie6743

The only part about him not helping that i worry about is his bonding time w ds, he cant wait until ds can walk, talk,play.   We agreed that me becoming a sahm would mean i take care of lo and the house, and h is the provider.  Sounds like we r in the minority here, but it works for us!

ASmallWonder

Oh, that wouldn't be cool here.  There are things DH hasn't done with this baby but it's not because he's not willing.  I always bathe the baby because he always bathes our older son.  He hasn't clipped his nails because I do it after bath but he was always the nail cutter when DS1 was a baby. We're an all hands on deck family.  If you're around when it happens, you've got a 50/50 shot at being the one to handle it.

YellowLily2013

llbta85 said:

TabbiC said:

I'm not sure what kind of dad chooses to be totally hands off. Shouldn't be having kids if you are going to be lazy and let mom do everything. Sorry, but I guess I was blessed with an awesome H.

Not that I excuse my husband's approach to DD, but with the other 3 he is a good dad.  He just struggles with babies.  When he is home he often helps DS in the shower and getting ready for bed, he visits his other children that live 1.5 hours each way, away several times a week and works 12 + hour days, so its definitely not laziness.

That's good for him, but dang, that's a lot of wasted time driving multiple times a week. That'd take away from new baby time and husband / wife time. I just can't imagine. 

YellowLily2013

My husband is very involved! He changed the first diapers in the hospital and everything. The only thing I can think of that he hasn't done is cutting his nails. He's the primary bath giver and medicine giver. He will do other things when asked, but my "to-do list" in my head varies drastically from his to-do list. So he doesn't register what I feel are "necessities" as necessities. kwim?

Monkeybutt80

my DH pretty much does everything except nail clippings.  He's got big man hands so I am better equipped for it.  oh, and he can't produce milk.  He does all diapers when he gets home from work, he does MOTN diaper changes, or paci needs.  And we do bath time together. 

Today, I am back at work for the first time since birth of Colton, so I am, curious to see how it will change.  I wonder if he will continue to do all the diaper changes after work or if we will be splitting the diaper changes after work. 

GraceInCA

My husband doesn't breastfeed, but that's it. He bathes, clips, soothes, does it all. Baby sleeps until about 5 am, and he will even wake up with me to diaper or take care of me while I feed her. He was equally great with our son. I know I'm very lucky.

MrsAuby

MH has done everything besides clip her nails (my cousin who babysits her does because I can't either!) and he hasn't given her a bath totally by himself. But if he is home when I bathe her he helps. Other than that he feeds her just as much as I do, gets up in the MOTN, and changes probably more poopy diapers than I do.

nikel13

DH is sole care giver for 9 hrs 3 days a week.  He has done it all, even tried MOTN feedings.  Doesn't work so well with the boob.  I had to get up anyway.  He's pretty awesome!

KEK1025

DH is pretty hands off with DD. However he is awesome with DS. He wasn't very hands on when DS was a baby either. He just isn't a little baby person. That being said if I directly ask him to do something he will and has done all those things other than MOTN feeding as she is BF.

kmkaull2

elmoali said:

Oh, that wouldn't be cool here.  There are things DH hasn't done with this baby but it's not because he's not willing.  I always bathe the baby because he always bathes our older son.  He hasn't clipped his nails because I do it after bath but he was always the nail cutter when DS1 was a baby. We're an all hands on deck family.  If you're around when it happens, you've got a 50/50 shot at being the one to handle it.

I think it is different when you have 2+ kids.  For us, our goal at night is to get both kids bathed and in bed by 8:30.  Usually, that means I am tending to the baby, and DH is getting DS settled.  It's not that DH is incapable or unwilling.  He's just busy with the older one, who is allllllll about Daddy these days.

sherbear

My husband does everything except feedings as I am EBF. 

He works all day and I thought he would be 'too tired to help' but it is almost the opposite. Since he misses all day with her when he gets home I almost have to fight to get time with my daughter! 

CalBears

We have three kids and my husband helps out with everything. He doesn't function too well in the middle of the night but he will get up when absolutely necessary. Most of the dads I know are very hands on in terms of parenting.