s/o parents and in-laws

missmodeste

When your parents and in-laws visit, who pays for dinner?

Since no family lives near us, visiting always means overnight guests. I try to have a couple of dinners planned out as well as their favorite things like, favorite wines, soft drinks and snacks. But both sets always take us out to dinner multiple times and they pay, always.

Since its been like this for years, we haven't offered to pay in years! Now, if they are around for birthdays we pay but they still pick up the tab.

Going to their houses also equals them paying, always.

jillyjill1026sr

Both of our dads/step-moms pay, always. It's hit and miss with my mom/MIL & SFIL.

notkateanymore

FIL usually pays, we don't go out to dinner with my fam, we usually cook at home since we are all great cooks.

ASullivan1231

Mixed bag. FIL insists on paying for every meal. My parents it's kind of split. We have a deal if its an outing for me or my two siblings, they pay. If its for my Mom or Dad my siblings and I split it. Now that DS is here everyone comes to our house but everyone brings food to help.

Minipenguin

My ILs would pay if we went somewhere like Chilis or Applebees. They would never agree to go anywhere nicer so it's never come up. I hate the food at Applebees so we haven't been out to eat in years.

joyfullyfound

Both set of parents live within 30 minutes from us, so it's not a special occasion to see them. We eat at each other's houses a lot (probably equally between ours and theirs), but rarely go out to eat... I can't remember the last time we went out for dinner with my parents! For a birthday where I get to choose, I'd much rather have one of my mom's famous dinners than go out. We go out with my in-laws maybe once or twice a year, and it's for something special, like a birthday, where it's already understood they'll be treating us. 

I guess if we did randomly go out to eat for some reason, both sets of parents would probably pay for us... 

jenniann87

We live within 20 minutes from both my parents and DH parents. We don't go out to eat a lot with his side, it is more often that we will go up to MIL and she will get to-go from somewhere. They usually pay for it even if we offer or try to pay. With my parents we go out to eat for birthdays, fathers/mothers day and anniversaries. We usually take turns paying with them. Just depends on the occasion.

 

 

 

rach10782

My parents would pay all the time if my husband and I didn't get up to pay at the front before the check comes.  My In-laws will pay sometimes but for the most part we do.  It doesn't bother me but I find it strange that they offer as infrequently as they do.  

Socialworkgirl

With my dad and step mom, they almost always pay. We try to pay as much as possible with my IL's because they really can't afford to pay. My mom has paid, especially if she is coming to see us as I will cook alot while she is here but we sometimes pay for her too. I want to say we have split the bill too with my mom and step dad. If we went to visit them, I would guess we would take them out for dinner.

trizzie

We seem to always pay for my in-laws. Doesn't matter if we are visiting or if they are.

bumpuser924057

My parents always pay for meals out, even if we're there to celebrate something like my dad's birthday.  They refuse to let us cover the bill.  My in-laws, it's usually 50/50.  I'm going to sound like a jerk for saying this, but I was a little taken aback the first time I put my hand out and said "Oh, let me get this" when we were visiting and they gladly handed it over to me.  Totally wasn't used to that!

Cherryblossoms07

Our parents always pay, my parents and the ILs, no matter if we are visiting or them.  We offer, but they won't have it.  They all live at least 16 hours away.   

kcisthebombdotcom

With my parents they always pay. Dh tried to pay once and my dad lost his shit on dh. He never tried again. Lol. We pay for my ils.

spring_time

We rarely go out to eat with my family, but when we do everyone pays for their own meal.  We frequently go out to eat with my IL and they always pay.  

My DH thinks it's strange that my parents don't pay for our meals.  It annoys me to no end that neither my DH or SIL offer to pay for meals with his parents on a fixed income.  It is only one of MANY differences between our families :-)

notkateanymore

OK, I know you're ready to have a baby, so you might just be crabby...but we're adults as well and can more than pay for our own meal. But when FIL insists, there is no arguing with him. That sentence really rubbed me the wrong way and it could just be bc I couldn't sleep last night and I'm crabby too.

jensriot

My FIL always pays or buys groceries when they come. He would be really insulted if we tried to pay. We don't eat out much when they visit and my MIL is an amazing cook. She cooks the whole time.

We usually split things up with my parents. One time they'll buy groceries and cook and we'll take them out or I'll cook and they'll take everyone out. It varies, but it's usually pretty even. They all live states away, so when we visit it's a week or so at a time.

dizzycooks

We split almost always.  My dad will sometimes pay, but more often than not he'll invite us to their house for dinner and cook something for us.

dizzycooks

@auroraloo  When's that baby coming?  I thought you weren't going overdue?

notkateanymore

OK, I know you're ready to have a baby, so you might just be crabby...but we're adults as well and can more than pay for our own meal. But when FIL insists, there is no arguing with him. That sentence really rubbed me the wrong way and it could just be bc I couldn't sleep last night and I'm crabby too.

I think you read it the wrong way. We let ILs pay for meals. With my mom we insist because its better for her and because we are adults we can. No offense was intended. That would be pretty hypocritical since we let ILs pay.

Told you I was sleepy and crabby! When are you having the baby?

Allycat11

When we go out with either set of my parents they pay.  There is no way they would even let us pull out our wallet.  With IL's we each pay our own way.   

Deblondie1

GFIL pays, always. When my parents visit, we eat at home mostly. If we do go out, they will pay.

pitterpatter129

Our parents always pay too.  It's kind of nice and we don't put up much of a fight over it.

 

Marymak07

Parents and ILs both pay, almost all the time.  

KellyD01

If we go out with the IL's, my aunts or my grandmother they pay always and if we offer we're looked at like we have 2 heads. The only exception is if we invite MIL and FIL to breakfast... then we pay. Even when my family comes over to visit 90% of the time they either order in a pizza or stop at the grocery store on the way for sandwich fixings.

If we invite them over for a meal, they obviously don't pay for anything. I also sometimes take groceries over to surprise IL's w/ dinner made when they come home from work.