I feel like I have to do things backwards because of IF

SallyAnneS

Before I started ttc DS I spent so much timing thinking about how amazing it would be to be pregnant, have a child, researched everything, printed pictures of nursery ideas etc etc etc. This as all before we knew about IF. When we realized it wasn't go to be so easy to get pregnant we put all our dreams aside and focused solely on getting pregnant and then when pregnant of course resumed day dreaming and planning.

Now we are going to start ttc #2. I am focused on ttc and trying to not get excited and day dream about it or plan for #2 or google baby stuff. It seems so backwards to me. Like I don't want to get hopeful in case it doesn't work. And if it does work then I can have a "holy sh!t" moment and actually fully think about having 2 kids. Does that make sense? it is hard to explain.

Dragonfly1226

It totally makes sense. When you are dealing with IF you almost have to go into things without getting ahead of yourself to protect yourself when you are on the roller coaster. For us when we were TTC #1 and when we went back to TTC again we always said "If I get pregnant..." And never "When I get pregnant..."

The good news is that when you do get pregnant you have months to plan for your LO.

SallyAnneS

That is so true, and having a second doesn't take as much researching of baby gear because I know what I like and want to use.

TJ1979

It's a totally different world. Hugs. I hope you get your BFP soon and can get excited.

SallyAnneS

I just wish I could be excited about wanting a second instead of on the fence saying I am happy with an only child if I had a second I would be happy with that as well.  I don't want to fully think having a second would be amazing because what if it doesn't work out. But then I think what if when I get pregnant I realize I was really happy with an only child and made a mistake! But i have heard you never regret having more kids. And I have just convinced myself (and everyone around me) that I am happy with an only child to protect myself from the pain of IF.

imoverit

Totally get it!!! Thats how I am exactly. Damn IF!!!

CarrieB.

Totally makes sense to me. This is why when I first found out that I was pg w #2, my first thoughts were "I never have to go back to the RE", instead of actually being excited that we were having another baby.

Mrs.AmyDylan

Exactly! I could be happy with just one if I don't start trying for #2. I know that once I start dreaming about #2, I won't stop until we do IVF again, if it doesn't happen on its own. We aren't trying now, but we chose not to use bc again. Good luck!

CallMeAl

I know exactly what you mean. I told my DH right before we cycled for #2 that I just wanted the cycle to be over so I could settle into our life either way... With one and be happy, or start adjusting to the thought that we would have two. It's such limbo!

ELF4321

Yep. Makes total sense. The first time I got pregnant I immediately started ordering maternity clothes and cute decor items for the nursery --- then had to deal with packages still arriving after I found out I would be having a miscarriage. When I was pregnant with DD, I didn't even let myself think about planning for pregnancy until I was in 2nd Tri.