How do you handle holidays?

jess9802

DH and his ex-wife have long shared a 75/25 parenting time split. Prior to this year, SS (almost 14 years old) spent the school year with his mom, and would spend Christmas break and summer break with DH and me. Things have changed, and now DH and XW have swapped parenting time. So SS is living with us during the school year (yea!!) but will be spending Christmas and summer breaks with his mom on the other side of the country.

I've been thinking ahead and haven't quite figured out how we're going to celebrate Christmas with SS. Do we give him his presents and his stocking before he leaves or when he gets back? What about Christmas dinner? Any ideas? Most people I know in this type of situation have either Christmas Eve or Christmas Day, which we don't have - SS will be gone for 2.5 weeks.

SueBear

What did SS do with his mom before?  Do you know and did it work?

Since you have a LO, I would not give SS a ton of presents before his trip.  Maybe one or two things that he may be taking with him (new game or sports gear).  But the rest of his gifts can arrive on Christmas (even if he is not there) and he can open when he arrives home.

Christmas dinner - - maybe make a new tradition and have a "holiday dinner" "new year" or "welcome home" dinner. 

Hopeforthebest

ok this is just me being Practical Patricia....do it when he gets back.  You will catch the after Christmas Sales in time before he arrives home. :-)

fellesferie

We have DS for Christmas every other year, and we try to be flexible on 'Christmas.' For my children, sometimes Christmas is on Dec 19 or 21 or 24. Heck, last year was our year and we still did Christmas on the Dec 24. 

We just tell them that we've explained the situation to Santa, and he'll handle it. We even claim that it's easier for Santa to not have to get everywhere on the same night. 

So on whatever day our Christmas is, we do stockings, presents, and the big meal. We always do everything before DS leaves, because I do not want to risk him feeling like he's missing something. 

CFjo2010

Agreed with PPs.

My kiddos are with DC alternating Christmas breaks and are gone for about 2 weeks.  We do Christmas when they get back, which is usually after New Year's.  The first night they're home with us, we do the "Christmas" dinner.  No gifts are opened before they leave, we open everything the first morning they're home (just like waking up on Christmas morning).  K is with BM the same years that my kiddos are with DC, so she opens gifts when the kids come home as well.

Now that we have PJ, we'll still follow the same plan, except that PJ will get to open her gifts from Santa on Christmas morning no matter which year it is.

jess9802

Thanks for the input. I know SS celebrated Christmas with his mom after he returned at the end of the break, but I think it was mostly just exchanging presents. The fly in the ointment with us is extended family- my parents and DH's parents live in town. DH's mom has a huge party Christmas Eve, we have breakfast/open presents with my family Christmas morning, and then we alternate Christmas dinner - one year with DH's mom/stepdad, the next year with mine. I really want LO to enjoy these traditions and my least favorite part of the custody arrangement is that SS will miss out on these things. I don't know how to make it "fair" for everyone.

I like the idea of starting a new tradition - I'm thinking Epiphany may be a good place to start. And I should probably ask SS and DH what they think, too. Ha.