Need advice pls

Princessmama18

My son will be 2 years old in few days and he is a happy, healthy baby.

He is in daycare, as me and hubby are working parents.

Now here is the problem. We do not sleep more then 3 hour stretch He wakes up and is like "mommy milk please" or "thirsty"...So one of us gets up and give him a bottle. And this is from the day he was born. He was not breastfeed. He sleeps in toddler bed and is good. He goes to sleep with bottle of milk and even when he wakes up it is enough to just give him milk and he will fall asleep right back. He was never really awake during the night, just the bottle thing. And this is not because he is hungry or thirsty (he drinks really a lot during the day), I think this is the way he only knows how to go back to sleep. What do you recommend me,...CIO any other method....we are just zombies and it can not go on anymore...

Another thing is diaper change. There is not a day that he will let us change his diaper without screaming, fighting, kicking,.... This started around his 8 months and it is an ongoing thing. He used to do this at daycare too but now he stopped. They told me that he loves to be entertained and to get his attention away on something else. It rarely works in our house. I give him different toys to play with, creams, I sing....do whatever...and he just wants his way. No diaper change.

My friends are telling me like..."just rise your voice or even spank him"...but this is not the way I would want my son to be raised. I want to understand him and to do as gentle as possible but I see no more options.

Any suggestions?

Emerald27

Diaper Changes:

Spanking or yelling will just make him hate diaper changes even more. That's not a good idea - good for you for following your instincts!

Can you offer a reward for his diaper change? Say "DS, after we change your diaper, you can have some strawberries/ play with xyz/ go for a walk outside! How fun!" And then follow through with it.

You can also try making the diaper change as comfortable as possible, on the bed, very quick, etc.

When my DS objects to a diaper change it is usually because he doesn't want to stop what he's doing to have his diaper changed. I usually let him bring what he's playing with with him, and if he's grumpy I'll take my time, tickling him and blowing raspberries on his tummy. Playing peek-a-boo, and asking him to find his belly button.

Bottle:

It really isn't great for their teeth for toddlers to sleep with a bottle in their mouth. Does he take a pacifier?

If he would drink out of a cup, that might be better. You could put a cup of water by his bed for him so that if he wakes up he can take a drink and go back to sleep.

If he uses the bottle to fall asleep and won't take a pacifier as an alternative, maybe you could rock him to sleep and sing to him while he drinks his bottle, and slowly work toward the rocking and singing being associated with falling asleep instead of the bottle. You could accomplish this by maybe telling him that when it's all gone, he is needs to be done with the bottle, and you can gently take it away but keep rocking and singing while he falls asleep. Giving him a little less in the bottle every few days would lessen the bottle time. Not sure if that would work or not because I don't have much experience with bottles.

Princessmama18

Thank you for your reply.

No he never had a pacifier. His only thing is his bottle. We tried with cups, sippy cups and then he just wouldn't drink. Even in our daycare they told us to leave him a bottle as this is the one thing he loves. He has no binky, pacifier, he is not sucking his thumb...just his bottle.

We are thinking similar. I just started giving him an ounce or two of water in his bottle just to lover the dose and hoping that he will stop asking eventually.

And great ideas for diaper change. I will also try that.

Due to circumstances my DS was not breastfed and we did not bed share at night, only for his naps and I am really trying to compensate that now with other things.

And gentle discipline in this toddler stage is really my challenge.

Emerald27

I hear you on the gentle discipline! DS has been quite the challenge for me lately. Half the time when I say "no" or "stop", he repeats it back to me with a big smile and a giggle. It's important to me to be gentle and respectful in my discipline, but boy does he make me want to pull all my hair out some days!

I hope some other posters have some good suggestions for you. I do understand not wanting to take the bottle from him, since it's such a comfort to him. As long as it's water and not milk, it's probably ok. I might still run it by his dentist or pediatrician to make sure you don't need to worry about how it could affect his mouth in the long run.

Princessmama18

Good morning ~O)

This night I took him to our bed and guess what.....the boy has slept all night without one wake time or bottle request.....so I will see it tonight if this is the thing

He is sleeping in his own crib/bed from day one and even in his own room from several months after birth....so I guess there is something and I have to figure out what?

Any suggestions, maybe fear, or some night lamp...anything....as I didn't have any sleep last night.

"I hear you on the gentle discipline! DS has been quite the challenge for me lately. Half the time when I say "no" or "stop", he repeats it back to me with a big smile and a giggle. It's important to me to be gentle and respectful in my discipline, but boy does he make me want to pull all my hair out some days! " - AND DITTO THIS!!!

We have been to his dentist for 2 times now and he said that everything is great so I do not worry to much about relation bottle-teeth for now.

And also yes,...some other posters welcoming your suggestions also

musicalmama5

My DS is only 6 months, so I don't have much experience disciplining him, so take my advice with a grain of salt! That said, I am a Kindermusik teacher and have a lot of experience with wild toddlers and preschoolers.

I think Emerald's suggestions about giving him a reward for diaper changes is a good idea. It'll get him to start associating positive things with diaper changes. And who knows, maybe this means he'll be easy to potty train? Silver lining. 

It always works better to keep things positive with this age. I know it's hard to keep your cool, but they really respond better to positive reinforcement. Also, having control over their actions and being able to make their own decisions is really important to this age kiddo. Try to turn diaper changes into something that he can make a decision about. For example, let him pick out his new diaper, or ask him where he wants to get changed (offering a choice of two locations is a good idea). Maybe if he feels like the diaper change is "his idea" he'll be more happy to go along with it.

Princessmama18

ClaryPax said:

Is he developmentally delayed? I am only asking because most 2 year olds no longer use bottles. I do put my almost 3 year old to sleep with a sippy cup of water. If you are still using the bottle I guess just give him a bottle of water at bedtime. Your pedi might say he needs to be off them though for teeth. He may be old enough to drink out of a regular cup. Have you tried a straw cup? I would try giving choices. Do you want to change your diaper or go in the potty? Do you want to wear underwear or diaper? What kind of diaper do you want to wear? Can you show mommy how to put it on?

He is really as healthy as possible, Thank God, just that his bottle is his thing. He never wanted/had anything else. He does not want, cup, sippy cup, straw...yes during day...he drinks from cup....but for bedtime it is only his bottle. He never uses his bottle during day, only for nap and bed time.

And potty training is what we are slowly implementing now, as he is showing his interest sometimes...but mostly not. We have potty in our living room...so whenever he wants he can use it.

I will try though with two choices of his place for diaper change. And some other suggestions also.

Tnx ladies

cpmich

We were a standing diaper change house. Its the only way our son cooperated with diaper changes.

emilykathleen511

I like the PP suggestion of slowing lessening the amount of liquid in the bottle while simultaneously introducing a few new bedtime routines to the mix.

Another idea is to make a big deal of giving the bottles to babies who need them while simultaneously giving him something new that is just for "big boys." Like maybe if he has a cousin or friend who is a little baby, say you're going to give the bottles to baby "Jane" or whoever. Then, when he protests at bedtime you can say that Jane needs the bottle because she is just a little baby and bottles are for babies, and he is a big boy. Maybe you can wait until after his 2nd birthday to do this so you can say he is a big 2 year old now. The first night or two or three will probably suck, but if you keep repeating yourself and comforting him and offering a cup of water, he'll get the idea.

Princessmama18

Ok now I have to figure out how to diaper change standing toddler.

He was great yesterday with diaper change as I offered him to show me how to put butt creme on him and he had cream all over him self,...but we made the change. I also did one change in living room, where he just continued to "read" his book. So this part I slowly get it.

But the bottle thing will be another level. Tonight is my hubby also at home not working so we will slowly try implementing new routines. And I have to be honest....I am a bit scared how will that go....as my son can be a great screamer if he has to