Thoughts on Ina May's Guide to Childbirth

MamaWombat

I have several months to go before L&D (I hope) but I just finished reading Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. I really loved her breastfeeding book, but I found myself semi-consciously resistant to some of the advice in her birth book. 

What it really comes down to is this: on an intellectual level, I totally buy her argument that birth, just like conception, is sexual.  However, although I'm not a complete prude (I don't think?), I'm not a super relaxed person either...and I just can't see myself making out with my husband in the hospital or masturbating during contractions. Nor can I see DH being comfortable with that.

I grew up in a semi-rural area, and I'm totally comfortable imagining myself mooing like a cow. :-) But I'm not so sure I'm capable of getting in touch with my inner fertility goddess.  

Anyone else have similar reservations/inhibitions and find that either they disappeared during labor, or you were able to go natural despite them? Or any other thoughts you'd like to share on Ina May? 

ETA: removed unnecessary personal information.

spicysurro

I dont remember it saying anything about masturbating during contractions, but I will say I loved the book and am unsure about some of that stuff as well, but we are having a home birth and if its stalling I guess I will try anything to move it along, luckily we will be in our own home, still in a birth center or hospital you could always ask for some moments of privacy.
However,I think with any book that is giving "advice" you have to take some of it with a grain of salt, you'll figure out what is right for you and your husband, not everything will be and that's alright! Im pretty sure many women have had natural births without macking on their husbands through it. You can do it and you'll be great!

MamaWombat

You're right - I can just ignore the non-useful part. I guess I just got kind of hung up on "I can't do this. I really can't. So, does that mean this won't work and I'll fail." Thank you very much for your reassuring responses.

I admit I found the birth stories more discouraging than encouraging because they almost all describe home/very-homelike-birth center experiences that just aren't an option...so they mostly tended to make me anxious about my chances of having a "natural" hospital birth that actually works out. However, the chapters on sphincter law were helpful. As you say, take what's useful and leave the rest. 

spicysurro

There is also a book I've seen on Amazon called "Natural Hospital Birth." I personally haven't read it but it might be something you want to look into to get you on the right track?!

2junebabies

I read Ina May's Guide to Childbirth and had a natural hospital birth. I was also really nervous about being in the hospital setting. I thought I would have to fight off interventions with a sword and shield. But it turned out both of my nurses were super supportive (one of them had had 3 natural births herself). I'm sure you've seen this advice on this board already, but labor at home as long as possible. That will help you progress and give the hospital less time to intervene. For my labor it went super fast. I didn't know I was in real labor until my water broke. LO was born 3.5 hours after that, only 2.5 hours after we arrived at the hospital. So you may go quick too. Don't worry, and just make sure you have a great support system that knows what you want. Good luck!

aylafsu88

I have to agree with you.  I loved Ina Mays book in general but I found the orgasmic birth section questionable.  I am sure that some woman may experience an orgasmic birth. However, I know that I found it odd to think of masterbating/making out with my H during labor.   When I was in labor those things were the furthest thing from my mind.  I am a modest person in general.  H and I don't do PDA, I dress conservatively and I tend to be a bit of a pearl clutcher.  When I was in labor I did lose my sense of modesty.  My doula saw me naked at home, I used the bathroom in front of her and nurses during my labor, and honestly did not care who saw me naked.  Labor did losen me up but not to that extreme.  Like Tangerine01 mentioned, I loved Inas book but I chose to ignore that specific section on orgasmic birth.

ETA:  I had a natural birth in a hospital with an OB. I chose to use some of her other advice during my labor like having positive encouragement from my H/doula, thinking about my cervix opening up like a flower, and the sphincter law.

AppleMuffins

I'm willing to try kissing/making out with my husband while we're in the privacy of our own home. I doubt I'll want to, but if I'm not totally against it when the time comes I'll try. I don't see why not. I like kissing him and find it relaxing and comforting, and I'm sure distracting. I won't be trying the masturbating though, and I highly, highly doubt I'll be anywhere near an orgasmic birth. In fact, I think I would be embarrassed if I did.

I will say I don't like the book as much because of the focus on spirituality during some of the birth stories, as well as envisioning waves, and flowers, etc. I'm not a spiritual person. I just skip that stuff in the book though.

sallywacket

I liked the overall theme of birth being a approve experience. That really helped me. The details were more entertaining than useful. The book was very helpful I. Mentally preparing me for birth. I was excited, not scared. But let me tell you, delivery was NOT orgasmic, telepathic, or psychedelic

tndalles

I have read Natural Hospital Birth and loved it. It gave me the confidence to know that if I am prepared and vocalize what I want a natural hospital birth is totally doable.

sschwege

I'm one of those women who really just wants to be left alone during labor. Sometimes I asked DH to rub my back, but other than that I really didn't want any kind of physical contact.  So I know for me that would have been the last thing from my mind.

That being said, I could see how it would work for some women.  When I was in labor with my first I spent a lot of time in the bath.  When a contraction would come I would bend and flex my knees and DH would pour water over my stomach.  I had one contraction that felt very sexual in nature, not sure if it was the water running over me or what, like I said it only happened once in my 17.5 hour labor, but it was definitely a distraction!  So I guess if it works for some women, more power to them!   

    

myglow

What I enjoyed most was the many birth stories. Just reading over and over women having successful natural births and what worked for them. I took what I liked and left what I didn't care for.
I borrowed it from the library and read it around 25 weeks. I wish I would have purchased it to re-read fot reassurance now as I'm so much closer at 39 weeks. I def recommend it.

nodito

hollywoodvibe18 said:

There is also a book I've seen on Amazon called "Natural Hospital Birth." I personally haven't read it but it might be something you want to look into to get you on the right track?!

I've read and reread Natural Hospital Birth and have found it to be, hands down, the most useful book for labor preparation that I've encountered.

I wasn't too impressed with Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, also for some of the reasons you pointed out.  I wasn't crazy about her emphasis on the orgasmic experience of labor that's possible when a woman isn't scared of childbirth.  It just didn't ring true to me.  And even just some of the terminology was off-putting.  Calling it The Farm and renaming contractions as rushes kind of felt... I don't know, cultish?  But she's doing good work and I did appreciate her outlook on birth as a natural and normal experience of life rather than the medical-model approach that I'm currently immersed in.

Arielle27

I haven't read it although I've heard it referenced a million times since planning my first unmedicated birth nearly three years ago.

I did a hypnobirthing course and read the book. The book was ok and useful in some ways, the meditation CDs are great (and I am NOT a meditation person at all!!), but the course was amazing! Really for me into a positive mindset and made me feel like I was really empowered and capable of natural birth, even in a hospital setting (my first two were born this way and I have another due in a few weeks and plan to have another unmedicated hospital birth).

annabelle.27

I had a home waterbirth and I have to say, I have never felt less sexual than I did during labour or during the weeks following the birth. Contractions frigging hurt, no matter what you call them, and I think if my husband attempted to kiss me or be sexual with me AT ALL I probably would have bit him. I know every woman's experience is different but to be honest I find it mildly insulting for someone to claim that my labour was painful because I was doing it wrong (and by "someone" I mean Ina May and not the OP)

tokenhoser

I really did not like Ina May's book, and I have had two med-free births.

I'm just more practical and scientific minded, and her books are all about feeeelings and visualizations and stuff like that. Not really relevant to me. My births were lovely even though I hate her book.

NatesCupcake47

I really liked her book, though I will say I was uncomfortable with some the sexual aspects she suggests.  But I did take away a lot that I think will help with my upcoming L & D :-) 

Arielle27

Oh, I wanted to add... While I did NOT feel at all sexual during my births (or most of my pregnancies or following them, unfortunately for my husband!), my husband has said many times that watching me give birth was the sexiest he has ever seen me! He said it was the most natural, womanly and sexy in fact... He actually wanted me to post this as a question to other bumpers - to see if other husbands felt the same ! Any takers???

annabelle.27

No. My husband still shudders when he thinks of me in labour. He said just the other day that seeing me in that much pain was easily the most traumatic experience of his life. I really think it is the biggest reason he refuses to have any more kids.

insertclevername

I was not a fan of Ina May's book and was really disappointed because it had come so highly recommended.  I felt as far from sexual as one could possibly feel during labor and delivery.  As for med and intervention free hospital birth, it is possible, as long as you are vocal about it and you have a good support to back you up.  I had a med free and mostly intervention free labor and delivery in a hospital setting with no resistance from the nurses or doctors.

sschwege

Arielle27 said:

Oh, I wanted to add... While I did NOT feel at all sexual during my births (or most of my pregnancies or following them, unfortunately for my husband!), my husband has said many times that watching me give birth was the sexiest he has ever seen me! He said it was the most natural, womanly and sexy in fact... He actually wanted me to post this as a question to other bumpers - to see if other husbands felt the same ! Any takers???

After our second was born I asked what I sounded like when I was in labor with DS.  I was just trying to figure out if I was loud enough to be scaring other women on the floor, I didn't think I was, but at that point who knows!  Anyway, he said I was making sounds similar to when we are having sex.  I certainly didn't feel sexual in anyway, but I was moaning a lot through contractions, so I could see how it might have sounded similar ::blushes::  

mh89

I haven't read her book but I watched the episode in "More Business of Being Born" that was about her and had to turn it off after Ricki Lake gave her a anal sex toy. Like... what the heck? Why was that scene even included in a documentary about natural birth? Anyway, what I saw of the episode definitely turned me off wanting to read her book.

samiaf

I read this book during pregnancies 3, 4, & 5. I think it is like most books, you take the good and leave the rest.  The good for me was that my body knew what to do, and worked.  After a c- section and a difficult hospital delivery of #2, I really needed that message.

barista411

This book is like anything you read. There will be some useful information and there will things you don't agree with. Everyone labors differently and she is writing from her experience what has worked. For me it made me rethink the the mental and physical connection in labor. With my first I approached it like a hard workout or a long distance run and I got really quiet and determined and pushed like crazy and didn't listen to my body and ended up with 4th degree tearing and a hematoma. I was pushing so hard and not with my contractions that I burst a large blood vessel that resulted in a hematoma. This time I also don't plan to scream and yell because that is not me but I was able to take away the idea of a very calm quiet mind that works with my body and allows it to do what it is designed to do.

aylafsu88

Arielle27 said:

Oh, I wanted to add... While I did NOT feel at all sexual during my births (or most of my pregnancies or following them, unfortunately for my husband!), my husband has said many times that watching me give birth was the sexiest he has ever seen me! He said it was the most natural, womanly and sexy in fact... He actually wanted me to post this as a question to other bumpers - to see if other husbands felt the same ! Any takers???

@Arielle27 I asked my H how he felt about me during labor.  He never used the word sexy but he did say that watching me give birth was incredible.  He said that he thought I was very powerful and womanly during L&D.  I did not feel sexy in any way giving birth, just messy and sweaty.

Crinita

I agree with what she says, but also with the fact that in most of today's birth settings those options are not going to be realistic for most women.  I think only at a home birth with no one else in the room would those things be an option, unless the person had really unrestrained to zero inhibition.

LindseyH033

I recently finished this book, and I must say, I really enjoyed it. As PP's have already said, you take what is relevant to you and leave the rest. While I don't believe I am someone who can or will be having an orgasmic birth, I do understand the euphoria and "high" that comes from delivering your child naturally. I can see how on a chemical/hormonal level, not necessarily sexual, these two experiences can be similar. That said, the last thing I was feeling during my daughters delivery was anything sexual. 

Having gone through a natural birth already with DD1 and expecting to do the same with DD2 (due next month), for me, the book helped to build my confidence in the process and reinforced my reasoning behind choosing a natural birth. I have to admit, even though I've done this before, the thought of going through it again is a little scary. For this alone I am glad I read the book. I really felt it was motivating, encouraging and eliminated some of the fear I was having about a second natural delivery. If for nothing else, the book helped me mentally and emotionally!

Arielle27

LindseyH033 said:

Having gone through a natural birth already with DD1 and expecting to do the same with DD2 (due next month), for me, the book helped to build my confidence in the process and reinforced my reasoning behind choosing a natural birth. I have to admit, even though I've done this before, the thought of going through it again is a little scary. For this alone I am glad I read the book. I really felt it was motivating, encouraging and eliminated some of the fear I was having about a second natural delivery. If for nothing else, the book helped me mentally and emotionally!

I agree about the confidence part. I didn't do much 'work' before my second birth as it was so soon after my first (which had gone so quickly and so well). And I have to admit, it was much harder! Though it was due to many reasons (very high stress, uterine irritability, preterm labor, etc), I think part of it was just not doing the preparation work.

This time, I've been doing my work with hypnobirthing CDs as well as rereading all of my birth preparation pages from my hypnobirthing course and from the doula I used for my first birth. Just having read through he materials again, I am in a much calmer place and feel more prepared and less nervous about endeavoring my third natural birth in three years' time!

I know this doesn't have to so with IMG, but it does pertain to what pp's have said about taking what is useful for you and leaving out the rest. That is what I've done and have found works for me!

LindseyH033

Arielle27, I completely agree! GL!!

A37licia

I wasn't into anything remotely sexual during any of my three labors. But I really value her information about if you keep your jaw and hands and face loose, your sphincter will be loose and you'll dilate well. That was very true for me.