Jealous of husband

calebbrittany11

I am 37 weeks pregnant and my husband went out last night to see a concert and didn't get in until 7 this morning because they couldn't drive home "safely". I know he would never cheat on me but I'm still mad. Sorry had to vent. I'm sure the pregnancy hormones are not making it any better! I just think its a little close to delivery time to be out all night.

achadwick19

So... are you jealous of your husband or are you thinking he's cheating on you? I don't really understand...

kimberlymacrae

Did he say he'd be home at a certain time?

happybride 276

I had a real selfish/crazy moment when I was 20 some weeks and I was criticized a little bit on the board.  I have to say they were right to criticize me, even though I never for one second thought my husband would cheat on me. I was a selfish little bitch and wanted him to sit at home while I went out of town just in case I needed him.  I really think there was a part of me that was afraid I would need him (for medical reasons) and he would be drunk out with his friends.  It was so stupid and looking back I know how foolish I was.  Since then my husband went to a bachelor party (weekend in Atlantic City - I was almost 35 weeks) and I am so glad he went.  He deserves to go out and enjoy his life.  He will soon be a father and won't be able to go out (assuming) for a while.  I told H go out with his friends, get drunk, and enjoy his last trip without being a dad because I am going to need his help and support soon enough.  I also enjoyed having the weekend to my self.  I got to spoil myself and eat whatever I wanted, got some last minute shopping done, and enjoy a peaceful house.  You need to find a way to let this one go.

calebbrittany11

Thank you! I'm sure I'll get over it. Hopefully sooner than later. And as for everyone else he gave no specific time to be home. And no I'm not worried he was cheating but as a FTm I just wanted him here in case something would have happened.

kimberlymacrae

This has nothing to do with cheating. I think communication is really important right now and with a newborn. If you have needs or desires you need to make sure to explain them to him. "I understand you want to go out tonight, this is fine, could you possibly check in with me every hour or 90 min.?" Then explain why it is important and how it will help you.

I find myself sitting around "in case anything happens". I think this is a common FTM mistake. Everyone should be carrying on like normal but I totally understand how you feel.

msronzio

happybride 276 said:

I had a real selfish/crazy moment when I was 20 some weeks and I was criticized a little bit on the board.  I have to say they were right to criticize me, even though I never for one second thought my husband would cheat on me. I was a selfish little bitch and wanted him to sit at home while I went out of town just in case I needed him.  I really think there was a part of me that was afraid I would need him (for medical reasons) and he would be drunk out with his friends.  It was so stupid and looking back I know how foolish I was.  Since then my husband went to a bachelor party (weekend in Atlantic City - I was almost 35 weeks) and I am so glad he went.  He deserves to go out and enjoy his life.  He will soon be a father and won't be able to go out (assuming) for a while.  I told H go out with his friends, get drunk, and enjoy his last trip without being a dad because I am going to need his help and support soon enough.  I also enjoyed having the weekend to my self.  I got to spoil myself and eat whatever I wanted, got some last minute shopping done, and enjoy a peaceful house.  You need to find a way to let this one go.

Love it! DH and I used to do everything together so I was afraid I'd have trouble dealing with this myself, being that we literally just do everything together. We prefer it. 

Well something clicked around 32 wks and I haven't looked back! I don't even fully believe it's the 'too tired to try to look good' aspect. More like.. it made me feel good that I could stay home and clean while he was out having fun, not having to worry about me.

A cute sidenote, he didn't even stay out that long because he would rather be at home relaxing with me. We got good men, they deserve our trust (and independence).

No comment on OP. I got nothing. For once.

ravenclaw1

I convinced my H that he needs to go to his best friends bachelor party when the baby is only a couple weeks old.

He needs to have a happy life too. My sister is going to come in for the week and stay with us, so I'll have help if I need it. We're all grown ups and need to be able to still be that way.

I would only be pissed if my H stayed out all night and didn't tell me. But only because I'd be worried something had happened to him.

Pockety

DH went to a concert like that this past summer. I was maybe 30 weeks, plus we have a 2 year old. I actually told him specifically not to come home, but to make other plans, because I didn't want to be wondering where he was or when he'd be home. It was a 2 night concert. Then a couple weeks later, I went away with some girlfriends and left him at home with the toddler. We're planning to do the same next summer too.

Sometimes, parent or not, you just need to get out and be your old self, at least for a little while!!

Just tell your DH that now he owes you one, and as soon as you're comfortable leaving the baby for awhile, make plans to go do something really fun with your friends, and DH can watch the baby.

Pockety

For the record, though, I'd be pissed at this point if DH got too drunk to drive. What would he do if I went into labor? Miss the birth, or be there and drunk for the birth? Both are unacceptable to me.

Katyjorgie

I've had problems like this before, and I get angry but after I cool down I realize that even though I'm jealous he's out having fun, that I might as well let him enjoy it while he can because he'll be busy being a daddy very soon! It does suck being the pregnant one that has to sit at home and not get to have fun before little one arrives though. But I know it'll be worth it when my boyfriend is away I just tell him to make sure he keeps his phone on him and on loud in case anything happens!

Shenique12

I have being married for 8 years and I find it inappropriate when my husband goes out and do not give me a time frame when he is coming in. Since I have been pregnant he has being going out with his brother so often , and I get pissed that because I am pregnant he thinks I should be bound to the house. A couple of times he came home to a yelling pregnant wife telling him he should go back to where he is coming from. He would look at me as if I was crazy telling me I should control my hormones . When I was pregnant with our daughter I was soo much calmer , I do not know what has happen to me with this pregnancy . My coworkers even laugh sometimes asking me if I am carrying "Michael" inside ; which is another name for the devil. I know have became mindful of my impulsive behavior and have employed different strategies to deal with my various bad moods and behavior. The jealousy ; I am silently dealing with that one. Lol!!!

ravenclaw1

Pockety said:

For the record, though, I'd be pissed at this point if DH got too drunk to drive. What would he do if I went into labor? Miss the birth, or be there and drunk for the birth? Both are unacceptable to me.

this, absolutely, stay out as long as you want, but stay sober

carolyn02

Id much rather DH stay the night someplace after a night of drinking than risk him driving home drunk. But then again I have no concerns of him ever cheating. He deserves to go out and have fun just as much as I deserve to have a day of shopping to myself. DH works 24 hour shifts at the fire dept, so being alone at night while preg with a 2 yr old is normal to me.

happybride 276

ravenclaw1 said:

Pockety said:

For the record, though, I'd be pissed at this point if DH got too drunk to drive. What would he do if I went into labor? Miss the birth, or be there and drunk for the birth? Both are unacceptable to me.

this, absolutely, stay out as long as you want, but stay sober

I didn't think about the drinking aspect, but you ladies are right. I would be pissed, and like PP said your husband should communicate with you by giving a time he will be home (if that is what makes you more comfortable). Some people don't care about knowing when they should be home.

imakeeff0rts

msronzio said:

happybride 276 said:

I had a real selfish/crazy moment when I was 20 some weeks and I was criticized a little bit on the board.  I have to say they were right to criticize me, even though I never for one second thought my husband would cheat on me. I was a selfish little bitch and wanted him to sit at home while I went out of town just in case I needed him.  I really think there was a part of me that was afraid I would need him (for medical reasons) and he would be drunk out with his friends.  It was so stupid and looking back I know how foolish I was.  Since then my husband went to a bachelor party (weekend in Atlantic City - I was almost 35 weeks) and I am so glad he went.  He deserves to go out and enjoy his life.  He will soon be a father and won't be able to go out (assuming) for a while.  I told H go out with his friends, get drunk, and enjoy his last trip without being a dad because I am going to need his help and support soon enough.  I also enjoyed having the weekend to my self.  I got to spoil myself and eat whatever I wanted, got some last minute shopping done, and enjoy a peaceful house.  You need to find a way to let this one go.

Love it! DH and I used to do everything together so I was afraid I'd have trouble dealing with this myself, being that we literally just do everything together. We prefer it. 

Well something clicked around 32 wks and I haven't looked back! I don't even fully believe it's the 'too tired to try to look good' aspect. More like.. it made me feel good that I could stay home and clean while he was out having fun, not having to worry about me.

A cute sidenote, he didn't even stay out that long because he would rather be at home relaxing with me. We got good men, they deserve our trust (and independence).

No comment on OP. I got nothing. For once.

Agreed about all of it.

Jenmarie279

I've had to tell DH a few times that it's okay for him to have a couple beers when we've been socializing. He has more of a fear than I do of something medically happening. While I don't want him getting trashed to the point of him not being able to pull himself together if he needed to, I have no problem at all with him enjoying himself.

At times I have been guilty of not considering the fact that he's expecting a new baby, too and this isn't only happening to me. He needs to kick back a little. Trust me, there will be a time in the not so distant future when he will watch LO while I go have a girls night out!

llybeck

kimberlymacrae said:

This has nothing to do with cheating. I think communication is really important right now and with a newborn. If you have needs or desires you need to make sure to explain them to him. "I understand you want to go out tonight, this is fine, could you possibly check in with me every hour or 90 min.?" Then explain why it is important and how it will help you.

I find myself sitting around "in case anything happens". I think this is a common FTM mistake. Everyone should be carrying on like normal but I totally understand how you feel.

I totally agree with this. There was one time where my fiance was going out with friends and I was feeling terrible, I had planned on going but just couldn't. I was so irrationally upset and I couldn't even pinpoint why. My fiance was about to just stay home and then I felt awful for getting him to stay, I knew I was just being ridiculous so this is exactly what I did. Just asked him to tell me when he'd be home and check in with me and he was like, "honey, I would have done that regardless!" Then I was totally fine, I was just being pouty and selfish and it would have ended up in a really stupid and pointless fight if we wouldn't have just talked and set expectations.

Totally not a big deal as long as you talk about it, sometimes it's hard not to be a little bummed about not being able to do all the things you used to. Now is definitely the time to make sure you have clear communication and expectations, it's going to be more important than ever once LO comes.

I also agree with PP, I would have been upset had he been so drunk he couldn't drive home. I would just talk to him about that too.