@sammer818 How did it go?

uneek1323

Was it better this time?

sammer818

Thanks for asking! It actually went pretty well. We were at the agency for about 5 hours. The ladies who are the coordinators were really nice and thorough. They treated us like people and not just clients or a paycheck. They also gave us a lot to think about - they recommended we shop around for a fertility clinic and look for best prices and really sit down and think about the "shared risk" IVF program (you get 3 attempts and without a live birth you get your money back). They also suggested we seriously look into doing our egg retrieval before we even have a carrier to ensure that we will have good embryos. With our loss history, they are worried that we will get super financially invested in this process only to find out I have shit for eggs or something.

We also had to meet with a psychologist (good news! she doesn't think I'm crazy 
) At the end of our meeting with her (it was almost 3 hours!) she really started to rub me the wrong way and as DH said, "I took a tone with her." She told us she doesn't advocate 1 or 2 embryo transfers but stated the ASRM guidelines suggest 1 embryo. She then spent 30 minutes talking about the risks to the surrogate if we do two embryos, one divides, and we get triplets. The chances are so small (possible, but small) that I was really irritated that she kept harping on it. I felt she was trying to strong-arm/badger us into agreeing to automatically terminate in the event of triplets AND to agree to a single embryo transfer. She then stated she had no real medical knowledge of these things....it really kind of made me mad. She also spent a good chunk of time asking when/how we were going to tell our child that they were carried by a surrogate. I told her I can't even fathom having a child much less having one old enough to talk to so that was probably the farthest thing from my mind. She wasn't all that impressed with that answer, but after everything we've been through, if we can even get matched with a surrogate, I will be over-the-moon happy. She also asked if we had a miscarriage with our surrogate, would we be able to handle it...DH and I said we've been through it 6 times already and we were pretty sure we knew how to handle things...I don't think she liked that answer either, but it's the truth. If you've done it once and come out alright on the other side (or 6 6imes), one more time isn't going to kill me. As I said, DH and I can't even imagine a child in our lives, so I think in the back of our minds, we almost expect to have another loss somewhere in this process. How horrible is that?

The agency hopes to have us a match or at least a potential to look at by the beginning to mid-October, so in the meantime, I will be busy researching clinics and options. They told us we are "the exact type of couple that surrogates want to help" because our history just sucks. So, my opinion has definitely changed of this agency and I am not scared to work with them anymore. I'm pretty confident they are going to take good care of us.

Thanks to everyone for the positive vibes and well wishes yesterday! It was much appreciated!

uneek1323

Yay! I'm so glad it went much better this time. And an eye roll from me to that psychologist. Please. I'm happy to hear the rest of it went well and that you feel comfortable. October will be here before you know it!

RedTwizzlers

oh my gosh, that convo with the psychologist sounds so stressful! But I'm so glad things seem to be going well!

kateitho

This sounds hopeful! I'm excited for you!!!!