Playground etiquette

MrsCodeMonkey

My DD was playing on a balance beam while I chatted with a 4 yr old kid and his grandpa. The kid kicked wood chips at my DD and got her cheek and neck. She started screaming.

The grandpa said "look, you hit her neck!" but he didn't say anything about stopping the kicking or saying sorry. I had to take DD away from the balance beam.

I was very close to asking the kid to stop kicking the wood chips, but didn't think it was my place to discipline him.

WWPD? Leave or ask the kid to stop?

ASmallWonder

If a kid is doing something that hurts my kid and their parent isn't addressing it, I will absolutely say "Oh, we don't do xyz because someone will get hurt."

Rach21

Talking to a kid is not disciplining someone else's child. I would say "Please don't do that. Someone could get hurt." It generally works.

MrsCodeMonkey

Thanks! I wanted to say something, but didn't want to overstep.

ILoveBoys

I think there's a huge difference in nicely teaching a kid playground manners, and being mean to them. KWIM? Your kid is going to look to you to defend her if she can't/doesn't know yet the right way to defend herself nicely.

wiggyslilsis

We were just having this discussion in the mom's group I am in. We were at the playground and I am new to the group and somebody told my kid not to do something. Iam fine with it but it spurred the discussion. Apparently some moms have been told off for asking a kid to play nice.

Honestly, I want my kid to be nice and safe and respectful of adults. This means that if someone catches something I don't then I would like them to nicely remind her.

I am not okay with another mom scolding or yelling at my child. I guess that would be the difference.

LuckyDad

My rule of thumb is I won't discipline another child, but I will make polite requests to the children.

"Would you mind not waving that stick near my son's face?"

MrsCodeMonkey

fredalina said:

Did the kid stop kicking them toward your daughter?

My preferred parenting method involves showing DD how her actions affect others. If I saw her before someone got hurt, I would point out what could happen, of course, but if I didn't see until it was too late, I would probably say something like, "Oh, no! You kicked wood chips in her eyes and now she's hurt and crying!" Which isn't far from what the man said. I trust that my daughter knows to stop. Usually she would apologize on her own also.

No, we had to leave that area of the park.

ASmallWonder

This thread just reminded me of something that happened to us at the park a couple months ago.  A kid (older kid probably 10 or 11) was sitting on the slide, part way down and DS wanted to slide.  I waited a few minutes and then asked the boy if he could please slide down so DS could slide too.  He side eyed me (I thought) and didn't budge.  Out of nowhere comes an older kid who I believe was his brother and god love him, he tried so hard to get that boy down the slide but he explained to us "He doesn't understand.  He, uh..."  I got what he was saying and I felt bad.  Then DS started having a meltdown because he was already at the top so we had to climb up and get him and try to distract him but he didn't understand why this boy wouldn't move and I could tell the older brother felt so bad.  And we felt so bad.  Awkwardness all around

74dragonfly

LuckyDad said:

My rule of thumb is I won't discipline another child, but I will make polite requests to the children.

"Would you mind not waving that stick near my son's face?"

This is me too.

MrsCodeMonkey

elmoali said:

This thread just reminded me of something that happened to us at the park a couple months ago.  A kid (older kid probably 10 or 11) was sitting on the slide, part way down and DS wanted to slide.  I waited a few minutes and then asked the boy if he could please slide down so DS could slide too.  He side eyed me (I thought) and didn't budge.  Out of nowhere comes an older kid who I believe was his brother and god love him, he tried so hard to get that boy down the slide but he explained to us "He doesn't understand.  He, uh..."  I got what he was saying and I felt bad.  Then DS started having a meltdown because he was already at the top so we had to climb up and get him and try to distract him but he didn't understand why this boy wouldn't move and I could tell the older brother felt so bad.  And we felt so bad.  Awkwardness all around

That's tough. Did you talk about what happened once you got home?

shibby00

Oh I was a teacher. I tell kids to knock off whatever they are doing if it's not safe. I use my teacher voice, lol. I expect the same from the other parents.

Shamlet123

It's such a different dynamic with the grandparents sometimes. I know for sure that if DS did something like that I would discipline him, but if it were my father, he would probably miss the mark a little.