One & Done: Only child
scrappingcat
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Had an awesome chat with my Mom!
scrappingcat
member
Sorry if this gets long:
A little background:
I'm an only and know that my Mom wished she had more children but they were very young when they had me and by the time they were financially able to easily have another child I was older and she didn't want to start over. My heart has been saying we are OAD but my brain keeps going back to the "what if's." I just don't want to be my mom's age regretting not having more kids. DH would prefer OAD but says if it really means a lot to me he would be ok with having a second. As time has gone on he is pushing more and more for OAD.I flat out asked my mom as she and I were walking along the beach with DS if she had any regrets about having only one child. She knew where I was going with this as I've hinted at DS being the only. She told me she always thought she would have several kids but that just wasn't in the cards and while she would have liked more kids her life would likely be so different as would my upbringing. She asked about my concerns and the specific reasons for OAD.
I told her about the PPD (which she knew) and questioned my ability to be a good mom to 2 kids due to DS being high energy, financial stability, ect. I told her about when we went to visit our dear friends who had a baby recently and all the anxiety that I had while visiting and holding him. I think I went on for at least 15 minutes about all the things I would be concerned with having a second child. She looked at me and said, "It sounds like you have made your decision and it's ok to be at peace with that decision."
I am now at peace and feel like such a big weight has been lifted. I needed to sort everything out in my head and with another person. Just wanted to share if anyone else is "on the fence!"
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Re: Had an awesome chat with my Mom!