UO

Debbie0580

I also wanted to add that I work in mental health and find it unreal the number of parents that refuse services once a referral is made to us, be it by their physician, school, etc. and these are sometimes kids who already have a major mental illness diagnosis. The Mental Health Act only has so much wiggle room in getting kids the services they need if their parent refuses.

jaime52005

fireflyz56 said:

tondraluv said:

I don't like when other people besides DH (like my Mil) insist on soothing LO if he's fussy while I'm around. I know others would probably welcome the help but I feel that I'm his mother & know what works for him so they should hand him over to me. Often times when my MIL soothes him, shes coming from a competitive place. One time she actually even said "you don't know what your doing give him here". She's never successfully soothed him while I was around btw, in the end he wanted me

This ticks me off too. I am at the point where I don't even want certain people to hold her because as soon as she starts fussing, they don't want to give her up. 

Story of my life when it comes to my in laws..used to love them now I'm irritated with all of them

pinottoparenthood

cmcmillan0901 said:

Going along with @canukmam:

I will not caudle my child. If she loses in a sport, I will tell her the other kids were better than her during the game and thats why they won. I will still tell her she did a great job and tried her hardest (if she did) but I won't make her think it's unfair that she lost. I cannot stand the mentality these days that everyone is a winner and deserves recognition. I grew up in a very matter of fact home where I was taught to be competitive and always strive to be the best and I think thats the reason I am in an upper level management position at the age of 26

 

Agree 100% with you and @canukmom (edited: I DON'T agree with Canuk on the bullying thing -- but I think that the reason bullying happens is because parents don't teach their kids how to not be little fuckers).  DH and I talk about this all the time.  Part of learning about life is learning how to lose gracefully.  I did not grow up in an era where everybody got a trophy or a blue ribbon, I grew up where you still had to shake hands at the end, no matter who won and who lost.  The whole generation of "helicoptor parents" who want to harp over their kids every move, blame teachers for everything, and not make their kids take accountability for anything drives me BONKERS.  I think that's the reason why this upcoming generaion is so entitled and bratty. 

As a teacher, YES!!! I have had parents call and yell at me because I wouldn't change grades or let kids re-take stuff, even in an AP class. These parents are not doing their children ANY favors. Are you going to call and yell at their professors someday? Their bosses? These kids NEEd a sense of personal responsibility and it is sorely lacking in today's kids. In the good old days, my parents punished ME for my poor choices, not my teachers.

tondraluv

mrandmrsk91011 said:

I don't like when other people besides DH (like my Mil) insist on soothing LO if he's fussy while I'm around. I know others would probably welcome the help but I feel that I'm his mother & know what works for him so they should hand him over to me. Often times when my MIL soothes him, shes coming from a competitive place. One time she actually even said "you don't know what your doing give him here". She's never successfully soothed him while I was around btw, in the end he wanted me

One of my co-workers ripped LO out of my arms one day after LO started fussing because she was tired and over stimulated. I about punched her I was SO mad

Tha fuq, who does that!? Does she have children? Is she older?

Mandmeesh

OhSewCrafty said:

Kate_C said:

I don't know about the legal system in the US but I think Canada's sucks. Especially the laws around minors. Maybe this is not really an UO. Anyway there is a recent case in my province where a child under the age of 12 murdered another child. This child was removed from his home, is under the care of social services and will receive 'treatment.' This child was already known to police as troubled and is known to have mutilated pets. I don't believe kids like this can be reformed. And I'm a Social Worker, I'm supposed to think I can fix anyone (sarcasm). I'm not sure what the other option is but I feel somehow the parents should be held responsible. I don't know. This is a huge deal to me partly because it happened in a nearby community. I'm sickened, both by the fact that it happened and by the justice system.

What do you mean about holding the parents responsible? Are the parents responsible for the kid being a psychopath? (I'm not asking that sarcastically-legit question.).

Has anyone read the article, "I am Adam Lanza's Mother?" Interesting read about parental involvement and our assumptions when children/teens/young adults with mental health issues act out.

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/16/i-am-adam-lanzas-mother-mental-illness-conversation_n_2311009.html

If the child is under eighteen, yes the parent is responsible for getting the child help. You may have a mental illness, but that's no excuse. I work in the mental health/developmental disabilities field and with some individuals with mood disorders. Yes, they may have violent tendencies, but their parents got them help and they get support. Mental health problems are not a "death sentence" to rule the rest of your life

Mandmeesh

mrandmrsk91011 said:

mrandmrsk91011 said:

I don't like when other people besides DH (like my Mil) insist on soothing LO if he's fussy while I'm around. I know others would probably welcome the help but I feel that I'm his mother & know what works for him so they should hand him over to me. Often times when my MIL soothes him, shes coming from a competitive place. One time she actually even said "you don't know what your doing give him here". She's never successfully soothed him while I was around btw, in the end he wanted me

One of my co-workers ripped LO out of my arms one day after LO started fussing because she was tired and over stimulated. I about punched her I was SO mad

Tha fuq, who does that!? Does she have children? Is she older?

She has three kids, all upper elementary and middle school. After she realized that what she did only made LO worse, she handed her off to someone else. I asked why she did it and she said "I just wanted to fix it"...yeah, she got the look of death on that one

When I brought LO to visit coworkers at the office, I brought hand sanitizer in for everyone to use before holding him. Lol. YUP, I'm that mom! No one would ever take LO from my arms. People are crazy!

JSS1002

pinottoparenthood said:

cmcmillan0901 said:

Going along with @canukmam:

I will not caudle my child. If she loses in a sport, I will tell her the other kids were better than her during the game and thats why they won. I will still tell her she did a great job and tried her hardest (if she did) but I won't make her think it's unfair that she lost. I cannot stand the mentality these days that everyone is a winner and deserves recognition. I grew up in a very matter of fact home where I was taught to be competitive and always strive to be the best and I think thats the reason I am in an upper level management position at the age of 26

 

Agree 100% with you and @canukmom (edited: I DON'T agree with Canuk on the bullying thing -- but I think that the reason bullying happens is because parents don't teach their kids how to not be little fuckers).  DH and I talk about this all the time.  Part of learning about life is learning how to lose gracefully.  I did not grow up in an era where everybody got a trophy or a blue ribbon, I grew up where you still had to shake hands at the end, no matter who won and who lost.  The whole generation of "helicoptor parents" who want to harp over their kids every move, blame teachers for everything, and not make their kids take accountability for anything drives me BONKERS.  I think that's the reason why this upcoming generaion is so entitled and bratty. 

As a teacher, YES!!! I have had parents call and yell at me because I wouldn't change grades or let kids re-take stuff, even in an AP class. These parents are not doing their children ANY favors. Are you going to call and yell at their professors someday? Their bosses? These kids NEEd a sense of personal responsibility and it is sorely lacking in today's kids. In the good old days, my parents punished ME for my poor choices, not my teachers.

Exactly. My parents would have sooner died than called up one of my teachers to complain about me getting a bad grade-- call to ask for additional help or what weshould be doing at home to fix the issue? Absolutely. Calling and demanding things? No way. I had plenty of successes and plenty of disappointments growing up,and both shaped me into a well adjusted adult who knows how to work for things and not give up and take accountability.

pinottoparenthood

Grace0609 said:

BellaBean76 said:

Although I do think losing the baby weight super fast gets glorified by celebrities I get annoyed when people say its bc they have a trainer/chef/nanny...whatever. I didn't gain a ton of weight during my pregnancy (despite my best efforts) and it was gone within a few weeks of giving birth...I know it's not the norm but it does happen. Ive had multiple people ask me if my baby is adopted bc "you don't look like you just had a baby" and I find it offensive.

I'm sorry, but, poor you.

Haha yeah I kind of agree. When people tell me that I don't look like I just had a baby, I take it as a compliment. Not that there's anything wrong with your body changing after having a kid... Mine definitely has.