Almost a month later...

Bruton8288

*LO mentioned*

It's been almost a month since Elizabeth was born sleeping. It will be a month this Saturday. We are planning to go visit her & decorate her resting place with fall decor. I have a 20 month old, this whole month has been difficult parenting her, she's a sassy pants. I had to put away her baby items in storage, just looking into an empty bassinet & seeing all the little sister items I bought her brings me to tears. I always ask, why my baby? I feel like I robbed my LO from having a sister, it hurts so bad.  There are days that are better than others, some night I fall asleep crying in my DH arms. What makes me feel worse is that I don't remember what she looked like. I held her for a few hours that day & saw her once again before her burial. This is why I am anxious to see her pictures that were taken at the hospital. The lady said she would mail them to me & that was last week, I have still have not receive anything yet. 

I had my post pregnant appointment today, I got the clear to start exercising. I feel guilty to laugh or go out with my DH for a date night. I know Elizabeth wouldn't want me to be sad, but there's a hole in my heart that will never be filled. I was thinking to go back to work on the 16th but that's the same week as the EDD I had. I think I will rather stay home. It's just going be hard going back to work there's 5 girls expecting in my department, so it's going to be awkward. I just want to know what went wrong, still await for autopsy report, that will be a closure knowing what happened. The only abnormality they found when I had a U/S to confirm there wasn't a heartbeat was fluid in her belly. I just want an answer, whatever we find out will pay a roll in or decision if we want to TTC in the future or not. 

jess123456

Big hugs to you on the loss of your sweet Elizabeth. Your loss is still so so new so be gentle with yourself. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

princezjk

So many (((hugs)))  As PP said, this is all still so new.  I also find not knowing exactly what happened to be one of the hardest parts.  Keeping you, Elizabeth and your whole family in my thoughts and prayers.

hopefulmom88

*****Ticker Warning******

 

I am so sorry for the loss of your Elizabeth.  It's been a little less than 4 months since my DD passed away and I have not done anything to her room, just put all of the baby stuff in there and glance at it every now and again passing by. I still have good days and bad days too.  Hope you get her pictures back soon.  I know I cherish the pictures and videos I have for when I forget the little details.

bunnybun4

Big Hugs to you today...

Just remember that you are only one month out from your loss...that is not long at all.  All of your waves of emotions and grief are so normal.  Be patient with yourself.

((HUGS))

Noethola

It is so very difficult to go through this. Thoughts your way this weekend!

I hope you are able to get your pictures soon. We got our about 8 weeks later. They were worth the wait. :-) I hope you are able to enjoy them when you do get them. 

OSUWifey09

***SIGGY WARNING***



I'm so, so sorry for the loss of your sweet Elizabeth. Please be gentle with yourself and take things one day, one hours, or even one minute at a time. Take as much time as you need to grieve and to heal...it will take a very long time, but the days will get better. We're here for you. *hugs*

Dixon813

Big hugs to you...

As @OSUwifey09 said, the days will get better. 

I feel like I can finally say I'm to the point where I don't have bad DAYS, just bad moments...praying for you

Jkerr924

Huge hugs

Don't beat yourself up or feel bad about feeling sad. Cherish the time you spent with your sweet baby girl, no one can take that time away from you. I'm excited for you to get your pictures back. Every little step is something to look forward to!!