Hoping you will have me back :)

ProcessofBecoming

Hi Ladies:

I am headed back over to the TTC after 35 boards from the April 2014 moms board, and hope you ladies will have me. I miscarried my baby on Friday, which was confirmed yesterday with an ultrasound at my OBY/GYN's office. I was able to miscarry naturally (which was physically and emotionally way more than I anticipated, but it spared me another D&C, which I wanted to avoid, given my age and previous C section and D&C). 

My oby/gyn said I should wait a cycle and then should be clear to try again, although he has suggested going to an RE to discuss other options, like IVF (I guess we'd have a better shot of getting a "good egg" with IVF, from what the gyno tells me). My insurance covers 3 rounds of IVF, but not the meds for it (or PGD), and 6 rounds of IUI (again, the meds are not covered). But, I am not sure if that is a path I am willing to go down at this stage of the game. My husband just got a job and his insurance is better and cheaper than mine, but does NOT cover IVF. It does cover "unlimited IUIs" as well as the meds for them. I have to decide which insurance to stick with, and the fertility coverage is the one thing that is holding up my decision. Ugh.

Regardless of insurance, I think, for now, I will stay the course with trying naturally, and using acupuncture and supplements and hope my luck is better the next time around, if there is a next time. I am coming up on 42, but am still naive enough to want to stick with the "whatever will be, will be" approach, which I hope does not bite me in the butt. For now, I'm just hoping to finish my recovery and start feeling normal again.

Thanks for taking the time to read this  

QOTR

I'm sorry for your loss.   I wish you the best of luck once you're ready to move forward again.

FutureMrsB.

So sorry for your loss.
Welcome back I guess?  Wishing you lots of luck and hoping it happens naturally for you (and soon too!)

Pintobean39

I'm so sorry for your loss. Welcome back. Hopefully it will be short and sweet.

hooligans4

I am sorry about your loss.
Big (((HUGS))) to you.
I hope going natural works for you and you won't have to decide on the ins based on the fertility options.
Best of luck.

BeckyP005

Oh no...I am so sorry to hear this. Wishing you all the best on trying naturally and hoping you don't even have to think about which insurance to use. [HUGS]

ally510

So sorry for your loss. ((Hugs))

mawinter

I'm so sorry for your loss! But congrats to wanting to keep trying!

ksgsmu

I am so sorry for your loss.  I just loss mine last month and I know how incredibly painful it is.  You might also get some support over on the TTCAL board.  The ladies are very sweet.  I have found it VERY helpful to chart after my loss.  If I hadn't this month I would have thought I ovulated on CD12 and I really ovulated on CD20!  Cycles can be so wonky and you will feel some crazy stuff. 

Also I would kill for you insurance.... we are 100% OOP.

ProcessofBecoming

@ksgsmu, I am so sorry for your loss. It's a miserable, demoralizing thing to miscarry. I alternate between being depressed and okay with what has happened, but it takes time to recover from it. At this stage of the game, I knew the odds were not in my favor, which helped to temper my excitement with the reality that something could go wrong.  But even still, it's so hard

I've been lucky enough to get pregnant without charting thus far, but it would have been very, very helpful had I charted with my loss, as I was measuring so far behind, but did not know my exact time of ovulation (and therefore, could not pinpoint how far along I should have been with any sort of accuracy). I have used the Wondfo OPK sticks, which have clued me in to when I should be ovulating, but of course, they cannot say whether or not ovulation occurred. In short, I've been lazy and need to work on that.

I can't even imagine how expensive it is to pay for fertility treatments. My good friend (who is 10 weeks pregnant now, at 42) paid OOP for her second IUI. It cost $1,800, I think, but her insurance covered the meds (she mentioned copays). I have not gone to a reproductive endocrinologist yet, but there are two doctors that are covered under my (and my husband's) insurance. I am very curious as to what sort of treatment they would recommend, given my history. In the meantime, I'm focusing on losing weight and being nice to my body. It's had a crappy month.

I should intro over on TTCAL. Do I need to remove the ticker for my son to participate on that board, or just put a ticker warning in? I don't want to inadvertently offend anyone. Thanks!

jb2rn

I am so sorry for your loss

HeathernSteven

I am sorry for your loss, I wish you a quick recovery and good luck, can you have both ins?

MarylandWed

I'm so sorry for your loss. I don't know about meds for IUI but I can tell you they run around $5k for one cycle of IVF. I hope you don't need it and can get pregnant with a sticky bean on your own!

ProcessofBecoming

@HeathernSteven -- there's a good chance that I'll end up carrying both insurances. For now, I am going to drop mine, and if the RE suggests IVF, I would pick it back up in November during open enrollment. I had no idea that IVF meds are $5,000!!! We could not afford that. With my husband's plan, the IUIs AND the meds are covered (but IVF and meds are not). It might be worth it to give IUI a few shots, I guess. My problem isn't getting pregnant, but beating the odds and getting a good egg (I think that is why my OBY was pushing the idea of IVF). Thinking about all of this just makes my head spin. What happened to the stork, who just shows up with your kid? I am liking that idea more and more. Ha!

HeathernSteven

ProcessofBecoming said:. What happened to the stork, who just shows up with your kid? I am liking that idea more and more. Ha!

I WISH!!! That would be perfect! LOL I will never lool at those stork announcements quite the same

Guennie

Ticker warning.

Oh, I am so sorry to see this. I was very happy for you. I'm sorry for your loss and I hope next time will be your sticky bean. Big hug.

Jacque Sills

So sorry to hear of your loss.. wishing you the best with your decision on IUI or IVF...yeah, What happened to the Stork, did he retire? Lol....

hooligans4

If you haven't intro'd on TTCAL I would suggest lurking there for a bit to get a feel for the board. When you do intro put a ticker warning in the title so women who may be hurt by seeing your LO ticker will just skip your post.

ProcessofBecoming

I have been lurking on the board, and am thinking that I may just stick with TTC > 35 and TTGP (I mostly just lurk there too, however). I read the TTCAL blog, and there seem to be a fair amount of rules and etiquette that I'm pretty sure I will inadvertently screw up and offend someone. This is why I held off on intro-ing there, especially since I have such a young son and I think I would need to put warnings if I were to even mention him in my posts, ticker or no ticker?  TTC > 35 seems to be a better fit for me overall, so I think I will stick to these parts and just continue my "lurkdom" on that board.

hooligans4

ProcessofBecoming said:

I have been lurking on the board, and am thinking that I may just stick with TTC > 35 and TTGP (I mostly just lurk there too, however). I read the TTCAL blog, and there seem to be a fair amount of rules and etiquette that I'm pretty sure I will inadvertently screw up and offend someone. This is why I held off on intro-ing there, especially since I have such a young son and I think I would need to put warnings if I were to even mention him in my posts, ticker or no ticker?  TTC > 35 seems to be a better fit for me overall, so I think I will stick to these parts and just continue my "lurkdom" on that board.

They do have a lot of rules but it works for them.
A lot of us have had losses so we understand what you are going through so just know you are not alone if you do stick with just this board.

NewMrs07

I would kill for your insurance too. We are also 100% OOP so IVF would cost a fortune. I'm 43 now and would like a second baby but like you, I still foolishly believe it can happen naturally. I don't even know where to start with an RE. Te whole process is so daunting to me. It took us a year to conceive DS naturally when I was 38 but I believe all those supplements/herbs/organic foods I was eating helped a lot. Who knows... Good luck!

svega232

So sorry for your loss

mamalovesR&R

I'm also a transplant from the April 2014 board. Glad you're here