Feeling bad about myself

jokimoto

So please don't berate me, but everyone I run into lately has been saying how exciting this must be and how excited I must be. I respond with of course, but the truth is I'm not. I want to be and feel horrible that I'm not. Instead I just feel overwhelmed, scared, worried and lonely. I guess I'm just feeling a lot of self doubt. I'm struggling with missing him, well the him I thought he was. I'm mad at myself for missing him. Will I be enough for my little girl, even though I wasn't for him? Can I really do this? A lot of the women on this board seem to be so much stronger than I feel I can be.

EarthandFire

Sweety, you don't think we were all always this strong do you? I can't speak for others but I know I wasn't. My GD is a POS, that's why he's gone. It can be overwhelming, there are so many variables right now. It gets better. Being scared and worried is ok, it means you care what happens. That's a good thing. And it's natural to be a little lonely but you'll never be alone again. That little one is yours. Trust me there are better guys out there. I had my doubts, but there are and don't settle. Your relationship just ended. All those hopes you had for it aren't possible anymore. It's ok to morn that loss. Your self worth has nothing to do with him and your ability to be a good mother has to do with putting your DD's needs before your own. How you're feeling right now says you can do that. It wont always be easy but it'll get better.

Monkeybird84

I'm going to second what PP said. It's okay to feel overwhelmed, scared, worried, and lonely. We've all been where you are, and some of the ladies here are in that same place right now. It gets better and it gets easier. I would suggest getting together with a couple of friends every now and then for dinner or something. I also treated myself to lunch or dinner once a week while I was pregnant, went to lunch with my roommate once in place of her sister, and treated her to dinner once. Just stick to the people in your life who are understanding of your situation and supportive of your decisions. It will be alright.

rachaelT28

I feel just like you a lot. I feel bad too because I have two other sons that I celebrated their coming arrival the entire time, this time I am just getting through it. I too nod and say a polite thank you when people congratulate me, but secretly I want to say how can this be such a wonderful time? My husband has left me for another woman, thrown me out of my house and moved in the gf and her children, I am miserable and wondering how my life will ever go on. I go and look at baby clothes and things when I get really down, because it helps remind me what it will feel like to hold another son, I look at his ultrasound pics when I get down as well and remind my self that he didn't ask for any of this. Some days will get better than others you will see. Life won't always be this bleak, focus on the day you will hold your little one for the first time.

20thirteen

I was sad a lot of my pregnancy, there was very little celebrating.  I wasn't sad that he wasn't going to be here, I was sad that I was alone.  I have spent my whole life telling everyone I would never have a kid and never ever paid attention to anything that had to do with pregnancy.  So when things would happen, it just reminded me that I didn't want to be pregnant.  It wasn't until about 6 mo along that I really started just accepting it.  8.5 mo along is when I really was like "I can do this.  I may not be perfect and it is going to be just me for a while, but my parents weren't perfect, their parents weren't perfect. They turned out just fine, I turned out just fine, I can do this."  She's here now, and I'm doing the best I can.  

You can do this.  Don't dwell on the negatives, because you are as strong as we are.  

babymama619

I'm really happy to be a mom, but totally freaking out at the same time. No one gets it. There are a lot of single parents out the, but not a lot of people who have been single and pregnant. I'm nervouse about the first few months pp.after I get into a groove I think I'll be fine it's just initially that's freaking me out. Everyone thinks be sugar I have so much baby experience this will be a piece of cake. But until now, I got to hand them back to someone at 6pm. Deep breath.

jokimoto

Thank you so much ladies!  I really can't even begin to to say how much your words and encouragement mean to me.  I have a lot of supportive friends and family, but I feel I can't admit to them my lack of excitement.  None of them have been through what I'm going through.  I need to focus on the end game here, my little girl.  Sometimes I wonder if all of this, emotionally, would be easier if I wasn't pregnant and had hormones running ramped?!?

20thirteen

That is what we're here for! We are a community and the only way a community can thrive is by encouragement and love.  Break-ups are hard, even harder when pregnant because there is a third life involved.  Things will get better.  Sending much love and good vibes your way