Birth Control and other family planning ramblings (Julymomma)

JulyMomma2U2

So, hubby and I keep having this discussion,, whether or not I should go on birth control. I did get a script for a low hormone pill, and filled it, but haven't gotten my first PP period yet, so I've not started it... And, we aren't exactly sure if we want to go on birth control again... I was on it for years when I was younger, and it gave me a lot of problems.. Break through bleeding, crazy mood swings, UTIs and YIs all the time, etc.. DH and I keep gong back and forth on whether going back on the pill is the right decision.. We know we aren't looking to get pregnant again right away (I was pregnant with DS2 by 3 months PP).. And, last time we were just "careful" around when I suspected I was ovulating, and my cycle obviously wasn't as predictable as I thought (hello, DS2)... As much as I love my boys (and as well as things have gone so far!), I still think 12 months apart is a little closer than I'd like for baby#3 ... In theory, I'd like to wait until DS2 is 8mos-1year before TTCing.. We want 4 kids, and would prefer to have them all close-ish together.. My reasoning.. I want to spend as much time as possible with my littles.. As a working Momma who's currently switching to P/T, I'd rather have all my kids close together while I have the ability to spend this extra time home with them.. T me, it just makes sense.. Plus, DH and I think that it would be really hard to go from having a baby in the house (restless nights, diapers, crying, etc) to not and the back again.. Anyway.. Last night DH said he thinks we should just "go with the flow" and "whatever happens, happens".... I feel like I would be fine with this if I could guarantee I wouldn't get pregnant for at least 6 months... Which, I could if I took the pill for 6 months, but then I feel like is it really worth screwing with my hormones and getting my body adjusted to the pill only to come off of it in January? I don't knowwww... And then there's the loss side of me.. The side that worries about if we will be blessed enough to bring more children into the world without dealing with more heartache.. Or, what happens if this time we suddenly have difficulty getting pregnant because I've gone on the pill and then off of it? So many things to think about.. So, that's where I'm at. I'm sure there will be more ramblings from me in the future.. To my other PAL Mommas.. WWYD? Go on the pill for 6 months.. Or, take DHs approach of "whatever happens, happens"?

MJM3108

DH and I are having this discussion now, too. It took us almost 2 years (22 months) to even get pregnant again after losing Grace. Who knows how long it will take this time. We've been NTNP, but for this coming month (I'm on CD4) we'll TTA. The pill messes with me, too, and I don't want to start just to stop again in a couple months. So that means DH gets to wrap it up... Not our favorite choice but it fits our short term BC needs.
Would that work for you two as a short term solution?

Junebug060609

Personally, if I were in your situation, I'd probably use some sort of birth control for the six months.  Doesn't have to be the pill, though that would be my choice, but something.  It sounds like a fair compromise with your DH's viewpoint, and will allow your body a break after back-to-back pregnancies.  I might change my tune if you were AMA or had DOR or IF issues...but it doesn't sound like any of that applies to you.  As someone who's had a subsequent loss after the rainbow that brought me to this board, it's definitely very much a reality to me that the future is unpredictable...but at the same time, you need to do what's right for the family you already have and for your body and marriage. 

FmrAFBrat

Try the diaphram. That way you can have a break without the hormones. With spermicide it's pretty effective.

I'm taking the minipill with caution right now. Not sure if I'm done for good, but at least for now. You can take the minipill without a PP period, as I haven't had one yet (but I am still nursing and pumping for DS and he gets all of his food from me..unless there's a mishap).It's another option, but I'm not wild about it if you are planning to TTC soon.

JulyMomma2U2

mrsjessicamitchell - Yes, "wrapping it up" is a solution... butttttt.. not one we're good at sticking with, though... !  Last time, we opted to just try and use condoms for the week I thought I was ovulating, but like I said.. clearly I was wrong at predicting that   Using them all the time is a possiblity, but one that sometimes goes out the window when you're distracted from thinking clearly ;-)

@Junebug060609.. that's what I'm thinking.. I really would like to take a break.. let my body have a break for a while.. but, hormonal BC screws me up.. but, it's the only thing I know wouldn't be interfered with "in the heat of the moment" (unlike mrsjessicamitchell's suggestion!).. we haven't struggled with IF issues (and I'm not sure what DOR or AMA is), but there's always that part of me that worries that going on then off of BC could mess with that.. I was really surprised when I went to my 6wk PP appointment and my OB cleared me to get pregnant whenever I wanted.. I really thought she would have said to take a break, since I had Pre-E both pregnancies.. but, she said she doens't think having them back to back has anything to do with that, and she doesn't think it matters if I wait 6 weeks or 6 years before getting pregnant again, it's just how my body handles pregnancy.. so, yea.. that kind of changed our whole thought process!

JulyMomma2U2

@theresat858 - She prescribed me Beyaz, not the mini pill.. what does TCOYF stand for?  I'm not nursing, so I *should* be getting a period soon.. I've felt like it for over a week now, just waiting for it to rear its ugly head!! OB did say I could start the BC before I got my PP period, but that I'd be more likely to deal with breakthrough bleeding as a result.. she said the best way is to start taking the BC on the first day that I start my period.. so, since we weren't 100% sold on what we wanted to do, we've been waiting and just using condoms for now.. I think you're right, about the playing with fire thing.. DS2 was a surprise for us.. obviously, one we were perfectly happy with.. just not one we were expecting so soon.. it would essentially be the same "feelings' this time around, too.. if we got pregnant sooner, that would be fine.. it's just we aren't planning to "try" until at least 6 months out.. kwim?  This may sound so silly, but honestly the biggest hesitation I have about adding a 3rd to the mix right away (or even trying in 6 months).. it means I'll have to sell my car and get a minivan!  I've just about paid off my car, and we just purchased a new SUV (that also wouldn't fit 3 carseats!).. so, it would mean car shopping, again! I hate car shopping!

FmrAFBrat

If Beyaz has the same active stuff as Yaz I'd run. I was off of Yaz a full year (TTC 10 months) before I got pregnant w my ectopic.

JulyMomma2U2

FmrAFBrat said:

If Beyaz has the same active stuff as Yaz I'd run. I was off of Yaz a full year (TTC 10 months) before I got pregnant w my ectopic.

  I'm pretty sure it's a very similar formulation as Yaz.. this makes me even more weary to go on it..

Junebug060609

AMA is advanced maternal age (35+) and DOR is diminished ovarian reserves.

I'd suggest you talk to your doc about temporary birth control.  There are options out there, and the doc could help you find a good fit.  Would Nuvaring work for you?  I know almost nothing about it, but from what I remember it's non-hormonal and is left in place for weeks at a time so there would be nothing to remember in the heat of the moment.  I'd recommend using condoms with whatever method you chose as a back up as well, particularly since your cycle hasn't returned and you seem to be plenty fertile

For the pill I had good luck with OrthoTriCylen and Mircette (sp)

EricaK28

I usually don't post here anymore more of a lurker. I would advise against anything similar to Yaz they are in a lawsuit right know. I know someone who had a daughter die from taking Yaz so she is one of the people that is going after them. I no longer work with her so i am not sure where they are at in process of lawsuit. I am on little sleep from newborn I hope this makes since. I think it was ortho tricyclen I took before my miscarriage. If you don't want to get pregnant for 6 months I would use some form of birth control method.

FmrAFBrat

Nuvaring has the same hormones as the pill. It actually caused me to bleed for 3 months and have horrible migraine headaches. A former coworker had a stroke on it at 28. There are lawsuits on it too.

CheesyPeas

Personally, I would try to stay away from BC pills and just rely on charting and condoms.  I agree that giving your body a break is a good idea.  Just letting what ever happens happen is a nice thought and all but I think you and your body need a break after two back to back pregnancies, so I would definitely pursue some kind of preventative measures if I were in your shoes.

JulyMomma2U2

Thanks for all the input! I think we will probably chart and use condoms for now.. Surprisingly, my OB was perfectly fine with me doing 3U3 if I wanted, so if it did happen, medically my docs are fine with it and Dh and I would be fine, too, but would just prefer a bit more spacing this time around... I think the BC will go on hold.. When I'm ready for a longer break, I will do an IUD (also.. Had taken nuvaring before and had SO many issues with it.. I was bleeding all the time and could not get rid of reoccurring YIs and UTIs. It was awful!!)

salsa_wifey

I got off the pill probably 18 years ago and have only gotten pregnant when trying.  DH told me to get off the pill because it "messed with my head."  I guess I was moody too.

You could chart your cycles and use condoms. 

JulyMomma2U2

RachaelA said:

JulyMomma2U2 said:

Thanks for all the input! I think we will probably chart and use condoms for now.. Surprisingly, my OB was perfectly fine with me doing 3U3 if I wanted, so if it did happen, medically my docs are fine with it and Dh and I would be fine, too, but would just prefer a bit more spacing this time around... I think the BC will go on hold.. When I'm ready for a longer break, I will do an IUD (also.. Had taken nuvaring before and had SO many issues with it.. I was bleeding all the time and could not get rid of reoccurring YIs and UTIs. It was awful!!)

You had 2 csections right? I seriously am shocked that your doctor wouldn't be concerned about you having 3 csections in less than 3 years. And then add in your history of Pre-E.... I'm sorry but that all worries me (especially your doctor just being its fine don't worry!)

I mentioned this earlier, but Pre-E is typically not something that you have in subsequent pregnancies (or, so I was told by multiple people at MFM and the hospital, my OB and my outpatient nurse).. the fact that I had BP issues both times at virtually the exact same spot in my pregnancy leads my OB to believe it's just how my body handles pregnancy.. she said she's seen it before.. and it wouldn't matter if I waited 6 weeks or 6 years to get pregnant again, that my body would likely still respond that way.. as for the c/s.. she was amazed at how well I healed and how little scar tissue I had.. i specifically asked about the potential dangers having a 3rd c/s would cause and she said she is perfectly fine with me having a 3rd.. now, she said if she goes to deliver baby 3 and realizes there's a lot of scar tissue and damage, she may not recommend having a 4th, but she said she's very hopeful we won't see that given how great I healed the first time.. so, we'll see!

tetiananina

Well I decided not to take a pill after DS thinking we can track and yeah we'll I'm 17 weeks pregnant. I'm torn as you are. Me and the pill don't get along in anyway shape or form. If your wanting more what about condoms? ( I hate them but hate the pill more) or track as if you were TTC with O kits and make sure you don't do the deed then. I know I'm not too much help but these are what I'm thinking now.