help with transition to preschool?

WheeLinTheSky3

Please forgive the random post from me, but this is my first post on this board-I spend most of my time on August 13. I have a two year old son and a 3 week old daughter. I am hoping that you ladies can offer some helpful hints to help transition my son into preschool? Today was his first day and it didnt go well. He cried most of the day (a four hour period) and Im sure when we go back it will be a fight. I realize that this behavior is normal for his age and the situation but does anyone have any tips for helping him transition more smoothly and perhaps cry a little less? Prior to preschool he has only ever been home with me during the day and he started preschool a little bit early to help combat a speech delay. Thanks so much for any ideas!

TiffanyBerry

Most people are going to say "Have a short transition, but do not linger, and don't deviate from your consistent pattern of departure."  (So, something like "let's take off your shoes and coat, go wash your hands, then give me a hug and a kiss.  I'll be back when school is over.  I love you very much.")  Then walk away - do not come back over and over - and don't look back.  It works for A LOT of kids.

I will note, however, for my daughter, that was the kiss of death.  Well, the don't come back over and over is important still, as if I say I'm leaving, I'm leaving.  But she needed me to stay with her to help her transition into being in that space and feeling comfortable in that place and with those people.  So, I stayed the whole time the first month or two.  And then I stayed for at least half an hour.  By the end of the year, I was staying 15 minutes, and she really seemed to need that.  (I'm curious what it will be when she goes back next week, now that she's almost 3.5yrs old.)  She's always been an introvert and a very sensitive (sensory especially) child, so I'm not surprised that she needed this help transitioning.  For her, doing this shorter would have felt awful.  And having a teacher come up to try to distract her afterwards was also not suited to her.  She did better if they left her alone until she came to them.

In addition to thank, you might see if the preschool will let him carry with him and keep a lovey of some variety, if that helps.

And many find that talking to him the night before, the morning before, and giving him lots of positive feedback about what went well after picking him up will help too.  Maybe even act it out with his stuffed animals, and get some books that deal with missing a parent and going to school.