18 dpo and discourage

carrieanne85

Hi all. Today I am 18 dpo and have consistently been getting bfn since 12 dpo. This is our 3rd month of trying but only the first that we took really seriously. I've been tracking my cm and have been using a fertility tracking app. The past couple of months that we have been trying, my period has been right on time and I have never been more than a day late in my life. I am now officially 4 days late and have been having cramping since 15 dpo ( I don't usually get any cramping until the second day of my period and it always very light) I am simply discouraged and frustrated. Has anyone else had these symptoms and still gotten a bfp? I know me and I know my body and this seems so odd!

KingLED

Also, check out the newbie blog at the top of the board.  It's the announcement that says "New here? Click me!"  Click that.

mmb248

Everything that @DarcyHermione said. The apps are useless.

I know exactly how confusing and frustrating it feels right now. I started using fertility friend to track my BBT and using OPKs after my first frustratingly late cycle. TTC is hard enough without having to wonder what your body is doing!

gscoville

Unfortunately if you're not temping and using OPKs, you can't know exactly when you ovulated and therefore may not actually be 18DPO. I've been TTC for over a year and have been temping and charting using Fertility Friend for most of that year, and even with that accuracy in tracking my cycles I have still had cycles where I pinpointed O and got to 18DPO and still got my period, no pregnancy. Cycles can be wonky at any time, and if this is your first one really paying attention it's hard to know what your normal might be anyways. I would suggest getting an account with Fertility Friend (you can click on the chart link in my siggy to get there), do FF's free tutorials, and pick up a BBT thermometer to start temping. You can get cheap OPKs online, I get mine at amazon. Start temping and using OPKs with FF once you start a new cycle and you'll know lots more about how your cycles work and what your body is doing. Until then, negative tests do mean not pregnant.

Jayers10

I was in the same boat this month.  My period has never been more than a day late (including over the last 10 months when I was not on birth control).  This cycle I was 5 days late and still getting negative tests.  Also had mild cramping since about 14 DPO.  AF just came this afternoon  

I'm sure this isn't the answer you are looking for, and what's going on with my body has absolutely no bearing with what's going on with yours, but try not to get your hopes too high.  TTC brain can do mean things and convince us we are pregnant when we aren't!  The ladies above had good advice about fertility friend, it's great.  Best of luck!

carrieanne85

Thanks all for the feedback. It just feels so odd that my body would act so different. I will just have to wait this out and see. Jayers10. - sorry to hear your news. Hopefully this next cycle will be the one for you.

carrieanne85

I have read that some people don't get bfp until they are a week or more late. Anyone have this actually happen?

MMason12

DarcyHermione said:

First off: Those apps are crap. Get rid of the app and start charting your bbt. Check out Fertilityfriend.com

Second: Those symptoms are also PMS symptoms.

A negative test usually means "not pregnant at this time". You probably O'd later than you thought you did. Without Charting (or ultrasounds) it's impossible to verify ovulation. Take a test weekly until you reach 60 days without a positive or AF and then call your doctor.

Yup! PP said it perfectly.

I have always been regular until last cycle when I was 2 days late. I had been testing since 10 DPO and they all kept coming back BFN. Around 14 DPO I stopped testing because I knew I wasn't pregnant and was just waiting for my period to show up, which showed up late. Things happen. Unless you are charting/temping you are really clueless as to what's happening with your body. 

heart_of_virginia

carrieanne85 said:

I have read that some people don't get bfp until they are a week or more late. Anyone have this actually happen?

My sister didn't get bfp until she was 3 weeks late. She got bfn everyday until she was exactly 3 weeks late.

jasrun80

Some people don't get a positive test for a while. Sounds like you're pregnant to me,,, I only got faint lines at 2 days late so if I were you, as long as you don't get your period, I'd assume you are pregnant!
Also just heard from a friend that the best time to test is 2 weeks late! Yeah right but at least it's "the best time" to test... Hope you are!

mmb248

jasrun80 said:

Some people don't get a positive test for a while. Sounds like you're pregnant to me,,, I only got faint lines at 2 days late so if I were you, as long as you don't get your period, I'd assume you are pregnant!
Also just heard from a friend that the best time to test is 2 weeks late! Yeah right but at least it's "the best time" to test... Hope you are!

Are you serious with this? If everyone who was late assumed they were pregnant there would be a lot disappointed people.

Periods are "late" for lots of reasons, usually late ovulation. No period doesn't equal pregnant. Positive pregnancy test means pregnant.

Mar14

I tend to agree with pp just based on personal experience. Better to expect a bfn than to believe you're going to see a BFP. Maybe that's negative, but I guess I'd rather be pleasantly surprised than let down. As others have said, you may have Oed late and if not, it'll be a nice surprise.

iam3jenn

DarcyHermione said:

First off: Those apps are crap. Get rid of the app and start charting your bbt. Check out Fertilityfriend.com

Second: Those symptoms are also PMS symptoms.

A negative test usually means "not pregnant at this time". You probably O'd later than you thought you did. Without Charting (or ultrasounds) it's impossible to verify ovulation. Take a test weekly until you reach 60 days without a positive or AF and then call your doctor.

This!  I am so glad I was tracking BBT through FF.  This cycle I was 18 DPO before I started spotting and then AF showed up that night.  Based on my temps, I knews at 17DPO that AF would show up soon, so that helped me reduce my stress.  Sure it was disappointing that we were not pregnant, but I knew what to expect.  I would highly recommend using FF and temping. 

(The previous cycle went 60 days with no AF, so my doctor prescribed Provera.)

gscoville

jasrun80 said:

Some people don't get a positive test for a while. Sounds like you're pregnant to me,,, I only got faint lines at 2 days late so if I were you, as long as you don't get your period, I'd assume you are pregnant! Also just heard from a friend that the best time to test is 2 weeks late! Yeah right but at least it's "the best time" to test... Hope you are!

"As long as you don't get your period, I'd assume you are pregnant" Wow, seriously?? :-O This is just about the dumbest thing I've ever seen spewed on these boards. There are women who experience long cycles for various reasons, some don't get their periods for months, and they most certainly aren't pregnant. This is the reason there are drugs like Provera to 'jump start' a period. Not getting your period DOES NOT simply mean you are pregnant!! Unbelievable... [-X

carrieanne85

Looks like I started some serious discussion! I'm not getting my hopes up. Could have o late. We shall see. I have thick skin, but thought I might add that some of the comments here are really harsh. We are all in the same boat together, trying to conceive.

sister13

carrieanne85 said:

Looks like I started some serious discussion! I'm not getting my hopes up. Could have o late. We shall see. I have thick skin, but thought I might add that some of the comments here are really harsh. We are all in the same boat together, trying to conceive.

Did anyone else for a split second picture all of us in the same boat with our DH's fornicating?  Whoa, too early for so much imagery. Instead, here's Isaac:.

 

1and1is3

jasrun80 said:

Some people don't get a positive test for a while. Sounds like you're pregnant to me,,, I only got faint lines at 2 days late so if I were you, as long as you don't get your period, I'd assume you are pregnant!
Also just heard from a friend that the best time to test is 2 weeks late! Yeah right but at least it's "the best time" to test... Hope you are!

I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you are trying to be sarcastic...

sarahduq1186

I just wanted to post this to be inspiration to so many women ttc. I got off BC two months ago to start ttc for our second baby and last month we were unsuccessful. My cycle went 37 days so when I found out I was not pregnant after about 15 BFN'S I was pretty upset. I did not use OPK or chart. Last month I got my positive OPK at CD11. Period never came. I took a pregnancy test at cd28, which was BFN. Then another the next morning which was also a BFN. I thought we were unsuccessful again and was upset because my period was really late. On cd38 I still didn't have my period so I decided to take another test and I got my BFP. I just wanted to share this because EVERY woman is different. Yes, some women get their BFP early (lucky!) but that is not the case for everyone. So if you do get BFN early try not to be discouraged because it really can be too early! Good Luck! I'm now about 5 wks along and go to the docs at the end of the month.

sarahduq1186

I didn't chart the first month ttc and I didn't get pregnant. On I didn't chart the second month but I used OPK and got a positive on cd11.

sarahduq1186

Yup, that is true. I just wanted to post that because I know so many women (including myself) take that test early and get a BFN and think there's no hope. But, they can still be pregnant!

sarahduq1186

Actually I did continue my OPK testing the very next day after getting my positive and it was negative. All I wanted to do was to let some women know to NOT to get discouraged if you get a BFN EARLY ON.  Jeez. I obviously didn't want to upset anyone by any means. Last month when I was late and continuously testing negative I was always online searching to see if anyone got a negative then a positive. People are completely taking this the wrong way. Just trying to help!

sarahduq1186

@DarcyHermoine How about how she told me to STFU and got the fuck away?? This is like talking to a bunch of teenagers.. wow.

madasm0530

sarahduq1186 said:

@DarcyHermoine How about how she told me to STFU and got the fuck away?? This is like talking to a bunch of teenagers.. wow.

You're a child. There are other forums that are going to be better suited for you. As @DarcyHermoine said - unflag GM!

sarahduq1186

So in this forum it's ok to treat other people like crap? I seriously did not intend to come off the way I did with my original comment. But it was definitely blown out of proportion. Sorry to whoever I offended. I never wanted to do that especially to women ttc. I'll inflag but just stop with the ridiculous comments to me.

shipmra

sarahduq1186 said:

Actually I did continue my OPK testing the very next day after getting my positive and it was negative. All I wanted to do was to let some women know to NOT to get discouraged if you get a BFN EARLY ON.  Jeez. I obviously didn't want to upset anyone by any means. Last month when I was late and continuously testing negative I was always online searching to see if anyone got a negative then a positive. People are completely taking this the wrong way. Just trying to help!

Longtime lurker here stepping out of the shadows to state that I get positive OPKs around CD 11-14 and then don't actually O until closer to CD 24-26.  Happened with my first pregnancy (and the ONLY reason I got pregnant then was because I was charting to confirm ovulation!)

... steps back into lurking ...

janda426

Wow I'm so inspired by how @sarahduq1186 body works. My body will totally get the memo.

Seriously go away. You are pregnant, you can quit posting here now

1and1is3

shipmra said:

sarahduq1186 said:

Actually I did continue my OPK testing the very next day after getting my positive and it was negative. All I wanted to do was to let some women know to NOT to get discouraged if you get a BFN EARLY ON.  Jeez. I obviously didn't want to upset anyone by any means. Last month when I was late and continuously testing negative I was always online searching to see if anyone got a negative then a positive. People are completely taking this the wrong way. Just trying to help!

Longtime lurker here stepping out of the shadows to state that I get positive OPKs around CD 11-14 and then don't actually O until closer to CD 24-26.  Happened with my first pregnancy (and the ONLY reason I got pregnant then was because I was charting to confirm ovulation!)

... steps back into lurking ...


You should come out of lurking for good

herecomesthesun

MeatandBandP said:

The twoweekwait sounds like the perfect forum to you to impart your wisdom. 

Ha!  I was about to say... "When did we get a crossover from TWW?"

PrimRoseMama

I've had all those symptoms before. 4 times I was pregnant, but the overwhelming majority of the time I was not. Put that together with the consistent BFN, and I would conclude that you are not pregnant at this time.

PrimRoseMama

@sarahduq1186 : providing false hope with uneducated answers is not helping. I understand you want to be nice and help, but you are really doing OP a disservice by posting this type of stuff.

Lkd6680

Thank You  for your input Sarah, that does inspire me.  Every body is so different, and these forums are so confusing with so many opinions.  I hope to get my BFP soon we have been trying for so long.  Goodluck on your pregnancy.

Lkd6680

Im sorry is it a joke that you act that way on a forum for pregnancy...You should be kicked off this site and ashamed of yourself

Lkd6680

So RUDE!!!! Just wondering you ppl so eager to bash Sarah are you all Doctors who know everything there is to know about conceiving children?

Lkd6680

There are some very bitter hormonal women on this site and I will never visit it again.  I have been trying for over a yr and would never treat another woman like that!

Lkd6680

Oh trust me I have a very thick skin and I am 100% positive that you are wrong re: your lash out to Sarah.  You DO NOT know what you are talking about.  I don't need nor do I look for ppl to blow glitter up my ass, but thank you for your concern.  If you want to be quick to pounce on someone for their TRUE experience than NO you should not be posting on pregnancy forums.  BUT you are right this is not the forum for me.  I don't like taking advice from ignorant know it alls.  baby dust to all you bitter biatches.

yurmom

GTFO

gscoville

Lkd6680 said:

Oh trust me I have a very thick skin and I am 100% positive that you are wrong re: your lash out to Sarah.  You DO NOT know what you are talking about.  I don't need nor do I look for ppl to blow glitter up my ass, but thank you for your concern.  If you want to be quick to pounce on someone for their TRUE experience than NO you should not be posting on pregnancy forums.  BUT you are right this is not the forum for me.  I don't like taking advice from ignorant know it alls.  baby dust to all you bitter biatches.

You do realize that in the real world baby dust sounds like dust made from babies, right? How gross that people like you love to throw that shit around.

PrimRoseMama

Lkd6680 said:

Im sorry is it a joke that you act that way on a forum for pregnancy...You should be kicked off this site and ashamed of yourself

---

what? I thought I gave you fairly nice answers...

PrimRoseMama

First, I love All That... So kudos to that gif! Second, this forum is not just for pregnancy. There are folks from all walks of life (infertility, child free not by choice, one n' done, avoiding/TTA & just plain lurking parents like myself) here. You truly don't know what you are talking about @lkd6680 . Finally, it's rude to call anyone bitter . You clearly don't like it here or belong here. So, take your acting-like-a-classless person self & hit the bricks.