"So, are you scared of labour?" — The Bump
Pregnant after a Loss

"So, are you scared of labour?"

I hate when people ask me this.  Hate it.

I'm afraid that I will go into contractions before my stitches are out and rupturing.  I afraid of losing the baby from being born early.  I'm not afraid of the pain of child birth.

I've done this before.  I've delivered with full pitocin and in a breach position.  Yes, Isabelle was much smaller, but I've experienced full hard contractions and managed my way through.  This is not new.

Why must we as women scare each other like this?  Why do we make the younger generation fear the pain child birth making them tense up and make it harder than it needs to be?

The best advise I ever got before I delivered Isabelle was from my mom.  "Relax and let the baby go down."  Why can't we say this to each other?  This is more productive.

I know my work shower is next week and I'm dreading having to hear all the stories. (Most of which I have already heard already).

 

Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

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BFP #1 - 01/12/12, EDD 09/12/12, Medical Induction @ 21 weeks 05/03/12
BFP #2 - 10/30/12, EDD 07/04/13, Natural m/c @ 5 weeks 11/01/12
BFP #3 - 02/07/13, EDD 10/12/13
Dx: Incompotent Cervix

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Re: "So, are you scared of labour?"

  • Hugs to you. Why people choose to scare pregnant women with horror stories about their pregnancies, deliveries, recovery, breast feeding, etc. is beyond me.

    BFP: 7/5/10   EDD: 3/13/11  Miscarriage 8/1/10 at 8 weeks

    BFP: 10/30/10   EDD: 7/7/11   Born 7/11//11 7lb12oz, 20 in.

    BFP: 7/30/13  EDD: 4/9/14 Born right on time on his due date! 8lb10oz, 21.5 in.


    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers
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    Awesome prophetic fortune cookie: Love is a present that can be given every single day you live

  • ((hugs)) rla. I don't understand it either. 


  • It's like a horrible thing that people feel the need to do. I will never get it!! ((HUGS))
    Married my keeper ~ 7.14.07
    Furbaby joined us ~ 9.21.07
    First BFP ~ 7.4.11
    DD Born ~ 3.14.12
    Second BFP ~ Feb 2013 ~ EDD ~ 10.19.13
    Angel Baby born ~ 5.1.13

    imageimage
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  • I was wondering how you were doing. :)

    I'm sorry that people are idiots and ask you this. I also hate how people feel the need to scare all women about childbirth. I know a lady who enjoys telling her horror stories and calls them "birth control for young couple" stories. I absolutely hate it.
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    Started TTC June 2010
    BFP #1
    07/04/10. EDD 03/14/11. Missed m/c 08/09/10. D&C 09/27/10. }Casey & Jaimie{
    BFP #2 01/14/11. EDD 09/25/11. Missed m/c 02/18/11. D&C 02/24/11. }Dustin{
    TTA for 18 months and then TTC for 12 months
    BFP #3 08/18/13. EDD 04/30/14. Missed m/c 09/25/13. D&C 09/26/13. }Daylin{
    TTA for 7 months
    Jan-Mar 2014 - RPL, SHG, karotyping: all results normal
    TTC Again May 2014
    Progesterone & baby aspirin combo for 5 cycles
    - All BFN's
    SA with DNA fragmentation = Perfect results

    Diagnostic cycle monitoring = Polycystic ovaries leading to premature egg release
    TTA Oct 2014 - Jan 2015
    Jan 2015 - Medicated cycle with timed intercourse
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  • I hate this too and I'm so sorry people are doing it to you. Do you have a response ready for your work shower? Maybe something like that will help you feel empowered.

    @jenn0021 I also hate people who refer to their own children as "birth control". We know a couple of people who call their beautiful young daughters terrorists and are always joking about using them to prevent unwanted pregnancies.

    I find it all so bizarre and offensive.
    TTC #1 since January 2011
    BFP#1 April 12, 2011, EDD December 24, 2011, strong heart beat at 7w3d, d&c at 10w6d
    BFP#2 Oct 24, 2011, natural miscarriage, EDD unknown
    After RPL testing my losses and subsequent infertility are considered unexplained.
    Cycle #22: Femara, TI, and progesterone = BFP!! 
    BFP#3 Dec 21, 2012. Beta #1 @14dpo = 134, progesterone 67.8. Beta #2 @ 17dpo = 664! Team green, EDD 9/1/13, healthy baby boy born 9/12/13!
    imageimage  My chart.


    Congratulations to the fabulous KGS2003! Her sweet boys are here! Grow boys grow!!!
    Serenla
  •  @jenn0021 I also hate people who refer to their own children as "birth control". We know a couple of people who call their beautiful young daughters terrorists and are always joking about using them to prevent unwanted pregnancies. I find it all so bizarre and offensive.
    ugh, that makes me sick

    yea, RLA, not sure why people love doing that.... it's so bizarre. what happened to just telling people good luck?
    BFP #1 - Mango - 6/11/12, EDD 2/22/12 Natural MC 7/15/12
    BFP #2 - Nacho - 10/14/12, EDD 6/20/13, MMC 8 weeks, D&C 11/16/12
    All testing shows both H and I are perfectly normal. Baby Nacho had triploidy. 
    Back to normal business December 2012
    BFP #3 - Froggy - 1/15/13, EDD 9/27/13 TEAM GREEN
    It's a girl! Alice - Born 9/20/13, 8lbs 2oz

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  • Thanks ladies.

    Pain is the last consideration of this experience.  I just want to hold my live baby in my arms.  What I have to do to get there is not important.  Other people just don't get that.

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

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    BFP #1 - 01/12/12, EDD 09/12/12, Medical Induction @ 21 weeks 05/03/12
    BFP #2 - 10/30/12, EDD 07/04/13, Natural m/c @ 5 weeks 11/01/12
    BFP #3 - 02/07/13, EDD 10/12/13
    Dx: Incompotent Cervix

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    pineconey
  • @Jenn0021:

    Okay, I know I've been MIA, but YAY!  Congrats my budget buddy!  So very happy for you, my dear!

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

    image image
    BFP #1 - 01/12/12, EDD 09/12/12, Medical Induction @ 21 weeks 05/03/12
    BFP #2 - 10/30/12, EDD 07/04/13, Natural m/c @ 5 weeks 11/01/12
    BFP #3 - 02/07/13, EDD 10/12/13
    Dx: Incompotent Cervix

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  • I must be honest I'm one of those people that has shared my birth story. I just love telling it to anyone that will listen. It wasn't tragic just a little long and annoying. I have no idea why I enjoy this story so much but I also love hearing/reading others too. I honestly didn't know it offended people until being on this board.

    Pregnancy Ticker

     10 year old boy - April 13th 2003
    MMC Feb 20th - May 20th finished naturally
    BFP on July 25th 2013 LMP June 28th 2013
     

  • rlajambe said:

    @Jenn0021:

    Okay, I know I've been MIA, but YAY!  Congrats my budget buddy!  So very happy for you, my dear!

    Thanks! We're pretty excited ourselves. :)

    How are you doing with your budget by the way? I've totally been slacking but am hoping to buckle down and get more disciplined now that fall is here.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Started TTC June 2010
    BFP #1
    07/04/10. EDD 03/14/11. Missed m/c 08/09/10. D&C 09/27/10. }Casey & Jaimie{
    BFP #2 01/14/11. EDD 09/25/11. Missed m/c 02/18/11. D&C 02/24/11. }Dustin{
    TTA for 18 months and then TTC for 12 months
    BFP #3 08/18/13. EDD 04/30/14. Missed m/c 09/25/13. D&C 09/26/13. }Daylin{
    TTA for 7 months
    Jan-Mar 2014 - RPL, SHG, karotyping: all results normal
    TTC Again May 2014
    Progesterone & baby aspirin combo for 5 cycles
    - All BFN's
    SA with DNA fragmentation = Perfect results

    Diagnostic cycle monitoring = Polycystic ovaries leading to premature egg release
    TTA Oct 2014 - Jan 2015
    Jan 2015 - Medicated cycle with timed intercourse
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  • jenn0021 said:
    rlajambe said:

    @Jenn0021:

    Okay, I know I've been MIA, but YAY!  Congrats my budget buddy!  So very happy for you, my dear!

    Thanks! We're pretty excited ourselves. :)

    How are you doing with your budget by the way? I've totally been slacking but am hoping to buckle down and get more disciplined now that fall is here.
    We've had a few stumbles with getting DH's business of the ground.  Large learning curve on that one.  But the nursery is just about ready and we've heading into my mat leave with a little nest egg to survive the 4-6 week wait for EI payments to kick in.  So all in all, we did alright, I suppose.

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

    image image
    BFP #1 - 01/12/12, EDD 09/12/12, Medical Induction @ 21 weeks 05/03/12
    BFP #2 - 10/30/12, EDD 07/04/13, Natural m/c @ 5 weeks 11/01/12
    BFP #3 - 02/07/13, EDD 10/12/13
    Dx: Incompotent Cervix

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    image

  • When people find out I'm having a home birth they freak out and say things like "Oh you'll end up in the hospital once the pain gets to be too much." or "What if something happens with you or the baby?"

    I live 2 freaking minutes from the hospital if something happens, and just because you couldn't handle the pain of child birth doesn't mean that everyone else couldn't.

    BFP #1 09/15/09, MMC 09/28/09
    BFP #2 06/04/12, EDD 02/09/13, MC at 6w3d on 06/18/12
    BFP #3 01/16/13, EDD 10/04/13, Born 09/17/13

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    Serenla
  • huge hugs   >:D<
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    TTC #2 Since October 2011
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    IUI#1 Sept/Oct 2012-Follistim, Ovidrel, Metformin, Baby Asprin, Lovenox, Crinone, and Neevo Beta 10/24=BFN
    No 2nd IUI but instead TI with Metformin, Baby Asprin, Neevo and Prometrium
    BFP #4 5/4/13-EDD 1/19/14- grow little one, grow!
    Beta #[email protected] HCG-95, progesterone-25 Beta #[email protected] HCG-2498, progesterone-30, 1st U/S 6mm,133BPM 2nd U/S 1.6cm, 167 BPM
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  • Since having DD I've come to the conclusion that they weren't trying to scare. I like talking about my labor because it was all so powerful and sharp. I'm incredibly proud of her delivery and it let my body redeem itself after letting Us down so many times. Sharing the story, the funny parts and gory parts are more an attempt to say, "look what I did. I'm just a regular person. It was amazing and dangerous and painful and absolutely awesome. Women are f---king amazing." Maybe that's all weird. That's just my take now that I've been on the other side.

    In the situation where you've already been in labor I would be annoyed and hurt. As though none of it counted. It all happened. So for that im totally with you. Sorry they're being asshats about it. ((Hugs))



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    BFP #4: 8/11/11. EDD: 4/19/12. Beta #1: 33 on 8/12. Beta #2: 104 on 8/14. Beta #3: 1320 on 8/20. Beta#4: 12291 on 8/27. Heartbeat! Beta #5: 38857 on 9/3. Beta #6: 87069 on 9/10.
    BFP #3: 4/4/11. EDD: 12/14/11. Beta #1: 39 on 4/5. Beta #2: 108 on 4/7. Beta #3: 401 on 4/11. Beta #4: 12865 on 4/22. D&C #1 5/16. D&C #2 6/3. Karyotype showed tetraploidy.

    BFP #2: 3/4/11. EDD: 11/13/11. Beta #1: 9 on 3/7. Beta #2: 0 on 3/9. Chemical Pregnancy 3/9.

    BFP #1: 10/16/10 after 10 months TTC. EDD: 6/17/11. Blighted Ovum 11/12. D&E 12/6.

  • rlajambe said:
    jenn0021 said:
    rlajambe said:

    @Jenn0021:

    Okay, I know I've been MIA, but YAY!  Congrats my budget buddy!  So very happy for you, my dear!

    Thanks! We're pretty excited ourselves. :)

    How are you doing with your budget by the way? I've totally been slacking but am hoping to buckle down and get more disciplined now that fall is here.
    We've had a few stumbles with getting DH's business of the ground.  Large learning curve on that one.  But the nursery is just about ready and we've heading into my mat leave with a little nest egg to survive the 4-6 week wait for EI payments to kick in.  So all in all, we did alright, I suppose.
    Good job! I'm glad that you guys are doing alright. Getting a business going is hard. We're a year and a bit into DH's new business and we're still learning.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Started TTC June 2010
    BFP #1
    07/04/10. EDD 03/14/11. Missed m/c 08/09/10. D&C 09/27/10. }Casey & Jaimie{
    BFP #2 01/14/11. EDD 09/25/11. Missed m/c 02/18/11. D&C 02/24/11. }Dustin{
    TTA for 18 months and then TTC for 12 months
    BFP #3 08/18/13. EDD 04/30/14. Missed m/c 09/25/13. D&C 09/26/13. }Daylin{
    TTA for 7 months
    Jan-Mar 2014 - RPL, SHG, karotyping: all results normal
    TTC Again May 2014
    Progesterone & baby aspirin combo for 5 cycles
    - All BFN's
    SA with DNA fragmentation = Perfect results

    Diagnostic cycle monitoring = Polycystic ovaries leading to premature egg release
    TTA Oct 2014 - Jan 2015
    Jan 2015 - Medicated cycle with timed intercourse
    Image and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPic   

    My Blog: The Canadian Housewife    PGAL/PAL Welcome    My Chart
    imageImage and video hosting by TinyPic
  • I don't understand why either. When I was preg. with my oldest I was scared. The best advice I ever got was from my CNM. She told me "Yes contractions hurt. Yes they can be hard. BUT they only last a minute & then the pain is over." She was so right. It helped me more with my 2nd than my first though. 
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • *HUGS* I don't understand how everyone spends so much time asking inappropriate things like "so when are you going to have kids?", and then as soon as you get pregnant they can't stop telling you about how shitty pregnancy, labour, or parenthood is. People suck!
    BFP#1 9/28/2012 - EDD 6/3/2013 - MMC discovered 11/21/2012 @ 12w2d - D&C 11/24/2012
    BFP#2 4/4/2013 - Born at 37w3d on 11/26/13 via emergency c-section
    Loving our beautiful rainbow baby boy Archer!
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    ~*All AL Welcome*~
    ejb23[Deleted User]
  • I am so sorry you're dealing with this. I do think you are within your rights to explain that you have had a traumatic experience and really don't want to talk about labor with colleagues. Sometimes a little honesty can make people see what complete idiots they are being.
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