Weaning question - It's becoming less than gentle

lizardknitter

DD is 2 years old (technically 27 months).  And I don't mind if she continues to nurse for a while longer.  However, we had successfully gotten down to 4 sessions per day - morning, nap, wake from nap, and bedtime.  Since she started Montessori school, she has been waking up every 2 hours asking to nurse.  Stupidly I let her for a few nights when I was sick and just wanted to fall back asleep.  Now she expects that and has added asking all day long once she's home from school.  It's getting harder and harder for me to be gentle in refusing her.  She will scream and cry for up to 45 minutes before I have to leave (like lock the door and stand outside on the deck) or I give in because I just can't take it any more.  I know that this is partly a monster of my own creation.

Add to this that I'm currently 10 weeks pregnant and I'm physically and emotionally exhausted.  

Is this just a phase?  Is it because she's learning so much at school?  Is it because I'm pregnant and my supply is dwindling?

How can I encourage her to not flip out when she asks?

Any insight is appreciated.

Thank you.

Emerald27

That's a tough one. It's probably a number of things: new school and separation from you, change in supply and taste of the milk, her age, etc.

If you think she's old enough to understand well, telling her that mama's b's (or whatever you call them, we say b's) are taking a nap right now, and offering a substitute of snuggles and a snack/drink, while promising to nurse at a later time might help. Just be sure to follow through with the promise that you'll nurse before dinner, after playtime, whatever.

When she's desperate to nurse and you want to limit her, you can tell her that she can nurse until you count to ten or until you're finished singing a favorite song. Sing or count as fast or slow as you and she need, to balance both your needs.

Weaning is tough but can be done gently, it just may mean setbacks like this. They're really common, especially around change. Compassion enters weaning when you allow yourself to be flexible and respect her needs, which it sounds like you're doing 100%. Great job, mama!

cyprissa

PP gave good advice. I told DS that mama milk was sleeping and then offered a high value but still healthy alternative as a snack. Also distraction with a coveted activity and lots of attention. Also, try to drop only one session at a time. bedtime and first thing in the morning are the hardest and the last to go. Nursing in the first and third trimesters is really hard so cut your self some slack and don't feel bad.