L12abellL12abell member
edited August 2013 in Adoption
Hello everyone.  I see that some of you have also come to adoption through an IF journey, so I think this will be a good home for me too.  We TTC for 3 years and at the beginning the plan was - 3 IUIs, 1 IVF, adoption.  We just did our IVF and it was a big failure, so it looks like adoption is what is meant to be for us.  My husband is adopted (DIA) and I've always thought maybe that's the path that is meant for us because he will have something extra/special that he can share with them.  The failed IVF is still very raw for me, I just found out Thursday, but DH seems so at peace.  He's sleeping like a baby!  

He called a few agencies yesterday and I requested a packet from one.  I've also downloaded a few books on adoption.  Are there any great books you would recommend we read?  How long after your IF journey did you wait before pursuing adoption?  Was it hard to move on?  I actually feel relieved right now.  I'm so looking forward to sitting in the hot tub with husby and not having to drive 2 hours each way to the RE all the time.

Married 9/29/2007
TTC 11/2010
Me: HSG 4/2012 Tubes Clear, Hypothyroid, PCOS
DH: MFI, SA #1 2 million, SA #2 no sperm, SA #3 7 million total
DH is now on HSG shots 2x week, 2.5 MG Letrozole 2x week, Vitamin B Complex, 600 mg Alpha Lipoic Acid, and 400 mg CoQ-10.
3/2013 IUI with Femara, BFN
4/2013 IUI with Femara, BFN
5/2013 IUI with Femara, BFN
8/2013 IVF with Femara, Bravelle, and Lupron, 4 eggs retrieved, 3 fertilized, 3 grade 2 Blastocysts transferred day 5, BFN
8/2013 Exploring domestic infant adoption

Re: Introduction

  • Hi and welcome.

    We're in the process of recreating the FAQs. There should be a thread somewhere on this page or the next that has a question pertaining to books. There are a TON in that link!

    What you're feeling right now is perfectly normal. A lot of people who choose adoption after IF have a feeling of hope and lightness after being in a dark place for so long. Our adoption journey was kind of gradual; it was more focusing less on IF and more on adoption at a certain point, and just chucking the idea of IF treatments altogether. I can say my anxiety attacks associated with the RE disappeared ;)


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  • Welcome and congrats on deciding to adopt.

    My husband and I have waited 5 months since our last miscarriage to start the process of foster to adopt. It has only been 2 months since a failed surgery to remove scar tissue. During this whole time I have been reading a lot about the process. I was ready earlier, but it has taken my husband some time to come around to the idea.


    I wish you luck in the adoption process.

    TTC Since June 2012 BFP #1 08/01/12, D&C 09/07/12 9 weeks, Blighted Ovum BFP #2 01/01/13 m/c 5 weeks BFP #3 03/02/13 D&C 4/15/13 m/c 11 weeks, 07/19/13 Hysteroscopy for Scar Tissue, 9/12813 Hysteroscopy & Laparoscopy for Scar Tissue, Cleared to TTC October 2013. 

    BFP # 4 11/01/2013 EDD 07/12/14

    Dear God, Since I couldn't hold my little one in my lap and tell him about you, could you hold him in your lap and tell him about me?

  • Welcome! So sorry for the tough journey so far... IF sucks. This group of ladies is amazing and supportive; I hope you'll stick around and post often!

    Our Adoption Blog & Fundraising Efforts

    Heading to China in November 2014 to bring our son home!

  • kva11ishokva11isho member
    edited September 2013

    Hello and welcome.  I'm sorry for the difficult time you've been having, but I'm glad to hear that you are feeling some relief with starting the adoption process.  I felt the same way when we "found" adoption, even though we decided not to pursue treatment. 

    Some books I loved early in our process were: Called to Adoption by Mardi Caldwell, Adoption: Choosing it. Living it. Loving it. by Dr. Ray Guarendi and In On It: What adoptive parents would like you to know about adoption by Elisabeth O'Toole.  I have links to the rest of the books I've enjoyed along the way on our blog (link below). 

    Good luck in your process.  This is a good place to come for support and information.

    we are until forever...
    check out our blog

    Lilypie Waiting to Adopt tickers

  • "Adoption for Dummies" was a great introductory resource and really helped us sort through the options and feel less overwhelmed.

    So sorry about your failed IVF. Best of luck on your journey.

    Started TTC July 2012. Missed m/c & d&c 9/12 11w. Natural m/c 1/13 6w. Chemical pgs 3/13 & 8/13 around 4w. Currently TTA while saving for adoption.

    “When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.” -Helen Keller
  • Hi there and welcome!  My DH and I also are IF and stopped treatment over a year ago.  We waited about a year prior to starting the adoption process.  I needed to mourn that process prior to knowing that this was right for us.  We are adopting from Foster care and next week is our last class prior to completing all of the home study paperwork and doing the home study.  I will say that since I stopped the IF journey I feel liberated in many ways.  I don't mourn every month my cycle comes and feel so much more free in knowing my path and decisions.  I really like the book Instant Mom.  :-)  I look forward to chatting with you.
    Live like there is no tomorrow..Love like you have never been hurt...
  • JoshKrisAdoptJoshKrisAdopt member
    edited September 2013
    I remember that sense for relief. Its wonderful. We had a failed IVF in Dec 2011 after which I was told it was unlikely I would conceive at all. We decided on adoption Feb 2012 and I was pregnant in June 2012. Total surprise. Sadly our daughter was still born at 26 weeks last Nov. We never stopped trying to adopt. We loved our adopted child just as much as our daughter and still do even though we haven't been matched yet. We've been waiting to be picked by an expectant mom for a year and a half now. Its been a heck of a journey. But I'm convinced we will be parents! Enjoy that relief. Hope and faith are priceless.
    PS I wrote about this on my blog if you'd like to read more.
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