Telling names before birth?

coreyeliz

Curious to hear what people are thinking on this or have done in the past. I'm torn. On the one hand, I want to tell my very immediate family. On the other hand, I want to keep it a secret until the baby is born. I also don't want to give people a chance to tell me I should choose something else or that it's a horrible name. We haven't even decided yet, but I see it happen to others so often. Thoughts?

ydawg05

We told immediate family and close friends who I knew wouldn't give us any crap about the name we chose. I kept it to myself with coworkers and everyone else I thought would give me an unwanted opinion.
We will do the same this time.

hjw101

Since we found out the gender with dd we didn't tell anyone the name. It was a nice little surprise for everyone. I really liked that I didn't have to hear anybody say they didn't like the name.

Melissa72777

We are not telling anyone. We are also team green so everybody will have lots of surprises when the baby gets here.

springbaby03

Ill tell my mom im sure...but the others may have to wait. However I remember the first time I heard the name Nevaeh I loved it...told my bro and mom my bro bashed it right away. Apparently its heaven spelled backwards im glad we didnt use it we live dds name we chose.

jwls84

I don't discuss names with anyone. There is always someone who is going to not like my name and I don't wanna deal with second guessing myself because someone turns their nose up at it.

HKline922

We're not telling anyone. We want to surprise everyone plus we don't want to hear their opinions.

jrw526

We didn't tell with DS and it was definitely the right choice for us. He has a very uncommon name and we didn't want opinions or comments.

BoogieMonster629

We told, we don't really give a flip what people think anyway, not their kid.

ring_pop

We never discussed names with anyone for DS and don't intend to do it this time either. Everyone's going to have opinions and I just don't feel like entertaining their opinions.

ETA: I guarantee you, a couple of months from now, we'll have multiple posts a day of people complaining, "Waaaaah my (insert person here) hates my name choice and won't stop giving me grief!!!"

Hrose7091

We only told family and I told my best friend until around 33 weeks we decided to let her name be involved in decorations for the baby shower. I didn't want to tell anyone mostly because people always want to throw in their 2cents and I didn't want anyone bashing her name.

ntdane

We didn't share names with DS and we will do the same this time. It saves on negative comments and judgement. It's harder to judge when you're looking at the new baby . I'm also one of those who has fun torturing the grandparents, especially my MIL. She has this huge fear that we'll choose something crazy. It kills her especially now that we're staying team green and not sharing names with twins on the way.

legallyginger

We were debating this over breakfast now that we've picked out our winners. I'm an awful secret keeper, so I feel like we might just announce the name when we find out what we're having. I think people might be less apt to keep questioning us if we make it seem final (I realize as I'm typing this how naieve it sounds). And I really don't give a hoot if people don't like it.

amsat

We aren't sharing for a few reasons. One, I like to have a couple of back-ups if the name doesn't fit the baby. Two, we are doing family names and one of the boy names we are considering will probably not be anyone's favorite. Three, I don't like anyone referring to my belly as the baby's name.

ClaireBear90

Oh heck no. (Heck no for me, not heck no for you . . . it's your choice!) We won't tell anyone partly because I refuse to give anyone an opportunity to criticize our names and partly because I want the freedom to change our minds last minute without everyone asking questions (not likely, but you never know).

I will never understand though why people think it's okay to criticize a name choice prior to the baby being born, but not okay afterward.

ClaireBear90

amsat said:

Three, I don't like anyone referring to my belly as the baby's name.

Amen.

acdiaz11

I keep having the same conversation with one of my friends. With all three of her girls she didn't tell anyone the names for fear of what people would say. In my opinion, it's your choice, you are the parent. Just because someone doesn't like your names doesn't mean that they won't call your child by it. We will be sharing our names and I welcome anyone to tell me that they don't like them.

PinupMomma08

We shared at my baby shower. My cousin was the only one who had an issue with it.


She says, nah... I hate that name. What about Loki, he's the god of mischief?


Thanks for the input though.

meganchristine14

We'll be telling although there's a few people I would rather not tell. MIL screams in horror at every name I throw out which makes DH in return hate the name too. So frustrating.

qsflame

My mom was picking at me about names the other day (she's one of THOSE people, you know the ones I'm talking about). I finally told her if she didn't leave me alone I was naming the baby "Unicorn Sparkly Poop". It shut her up for like 5 seconds, then she said "Well, that would really force some of the people in the family to be more diplomatic wouldn't it".   "Yeah mom, it sure would, maybe even you"

MrsLaurenandDan

We didn't tell anyone last time. The only ones who gave us a hard time about it were my students and my BFF.

DTNZ4Ever

We didn't tell anyone. Didn't want the debate. We didn't even tell anyone our girl name just in case we have a girl this time. Plus we didn't decide on DS's middle name until I was in labor.

angelsnight

I'll give you my perspective which might be something people don't (and I hope you don't) have to think about.  Our daughter had been named for years before she was conceived.  MH loved the name Kayla and even told me about it on our second date!  Whenever we talked about our future kids, we would talk about Kayla.

So when we found out we were having a girl, obviously her name would be Kayla and we then referred to her as that since the anatomy scan.  When she was born premature and thus didn't survive a month later, we discussed it for a few minutes and decided to keep the name.  I couldn't fathom changing it, it was HER name, and I could never use the name for any future children.

But, it makes me very sad that we didn't get to use the name in the way we thought we would.  It breaks my heart, knowing how much MH loved the name.  For this baby we call him or her Boo, but even once we find out the sex he/she will still go by Boo.  We'll likely tell our close family and friends our name picks, but we'll request they do not call the baby that until he/she is born.

KTdid81

We aren't telling anyone. We're team green and I have 2 SILs that are due a couple months before me. I don't think they would steal our name, but I don't want to chance it.

saisongbird

We've mentioned ideas for a boy, but once we choose a name we won't share.  We have chosen a name for a girl and our lips are sealed.

hippiechick21

We've told names that we like but once we pick it will be a secret. I don't want anyone's opinion affecting the name we chose.

Maddeegal

This is so interesting, I didn't realize so many people don't tell. My DH is kinda like that, he doesn't want me sharing the names we picked, but I still have. The only person I worry about not liking it is my mom, my in-laws like very normal names, they won't like it either way, my dad has already told me he loves my names, my brothers don't care, and everyone else, well I don't care about them. I already have talked to my mom and she has approved my names! Haha
I'm doing Lyla Faye for a girl
Or Ezekiel Spencer for a boy and we will call him Zeke.

NortyLeigh

It's really up to you. If you choose a very different sounding name then you may hear comments. If you don't want to hear it, don't share. I have friends with kids whose names I don't like but I would never tell them that. We shared DS's name when we announced his gender. His name is not a common name. I have one friend who said it was interesting but everyone else really liked it. Even if they didn't, I wouldn't care what they thought. It's my child and long as we like it, who cares?

lnvane00

We will be announcing the sex of the baby so I thought it would be fun to keep the name a secret until birth. That, and there are too many people with too many opinions and I don't need people telling me how they feel about the name we picked out.

BrideNamedMeg

I think it's weird when people don't tell.  90% of the time I'm just making conversation when I ask, I don't really care!  We tell people our short lists because we wait until the baby is born to make the final decision, but I'll tell anyone who asks what our frontrunners are.  

Yenemous

I will be sharing the name. I couldn't care less what anyone else thinks about it plus DH can't keep a secret to save his life so I'm sure he'll be telling everyone we know!

VineyardMel

I totally get not wanting to share, but please, please, please realize that most people think you look like a douchecanoe when you say, 'we know but it's a secret.' Most people don't care that much and it makes it sound like you think it's a matter of national security or something. It's so much better if you just say that you haven't decided yet.

We did announce DD's name after we found out she was a girl and never got any negative feedback. I do think it makes a difference when you state it matter of factly vs something you're thinking about.

TradeMama

I told my SIL my name for a girl when we were TTC and she totally stole it. My niece is Elizabeth... Nn "Libby". My mom's mn is Elizabeth, and SIL doesn't even like her. I was pretty irritated.

KariB509

With DS, we told everyone the name we had chosen. I think when you tell people that you're actually naming the baby that name, not just thinking about it, they keep their mouths shut. I liked being able to talk about DS in my belly by name. We'll do the same thing this time.

saisongbird

VineyardMel said:

I totally get not wanting to share, but please, please, please realize that most people think you look like a douchecanoe when you say, 'we know but it's a secret.' Most people don't care that much and it makes it sound like you think it's a matter of national security or something. It's so much better if you just say that you haven't decided yet. We did announce DD's name after we found out she was a girl and never got any negative feedback. I do think it makes a difference when you state it matter of factly vs something you're thinking about.

What about for religious reasons?  I've never head of anyone being judged for not sharing, it's fairly commonplace around here.  I would have issue with someone judging me when religiously, we don't believe in announcing.

benevolentforce

We're not telling - primarily because we reserve the right to change our minds at any moment, and don't need binkis or Xmas stockings with the wrong name embroidered on them in the meantime.

BrideNamedMeg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbTB3ASkdOo

mal2385

We told people with dd. She has different name we named her Irelyn. I can't remember people saying anything negitive to our faces. But we did get a lot of are you guys Irish? I mean I am a tiny bit but we didnt name her after the country. We chose it cause we thought it was pretty. My name is Mallory and I loved growing up and only ever running to a couple other girls with the same name. I am going to tell our next baby's name to who ever asks and hope that people like it

VineyardMel

saisongbird said:

VineyardMel said:

I totally get not wanting to share, but please, please, please realize that most people think you look like a douchecanoe when you say, 'we know but it's a secret.' Most people don't care that much and it makes it sound like you think it's a matter of national security or something. It's so much better if you just say that you haven't decided yet. We did announce DD's name after we found out she was a girl and never got any negative feedback. I do think it makes a difference when you state it matter of factly vs something you're thinking about.

What about for religious reasons?  I've never head of anyone being judged for not sharing, it's fairly commonplace around here.  I would have issue with someone judging me when religiously, we don't believe in announcing.

Well of course--that's not the same as "we know but it's a secret." I don't know faiths other than Judaism that do this (not saying there aren't--I'm just not familiar), and in that case I thought the baby wasn't actually named until birth (or 8 days after for boys). It's the people who are so concerned that someone will steal their name or say they don't like it that develop the douchecanoe attitude in my experience.

ufsandra85

i dont really care about peoples opinions. the last ultrasound said it is probably a boy. if it is it will be named james leonard. it is a family name so screw them if they dont like it

HappyWife01

ClaireBear90 said:

amsat said:

Three, I don't like anyone referring to my belly as the baby's name.

Amen.

Yep plus we are team green so I don't want anyone to refer to the baby in one name and not the other. It would just make me mad.