Finding out the gender...

ABMomofBBx3

Our birthmom finds out on Wednesday the gender of the baby.  I am sooooo excited!  I KNOW this is our last baby, and I would like to do a surprise for my family.  But, and this is so silly, I feel like that's not something I should enjoy, a gender reveal (in a fun way).  Do you think it's ok to enjoy this moment and make it fun?  I don't know why I'm feeling like I shouldn't.  (I'm very confident this adoption is going to go through, so I don't think it's that).

Dr.Loretta

IMO you're probably focusing more on the loss aspect of adoption, and that's what's holding you back. But it's OK to focus on the joyous aspects of it too.

ABMomofBBx3

Thank you Dr. Loretta.  I think you are right, I am wrapped up in the uncertainty of it all.  With our first adoption we committed to celebrating the entire process and only deal with negativity when we absolutely had to.  I'm so glad, because it made for a really pleasant experience.  I don't know why I'm holding back this time, but may I should just let it go and enjoy

sgb721

Do the Gender Reveal for your family!! These are the moments that biological or adoptive children, we can all have!!

maryoosa

We felt similarly... we decided what we would do is buy some onesies--- so like we bought one that said "Grandma's Little Dude", "Greatest Nephew Ever" etc. and gave them to my mom, dad and sister. It was a small gesture and didn't feel like we were going overboard in case the match failed.

adoptmommy

We find out Thursday-our BM invited us up for the appointment so it will be the first time we meet too! I hadn't thought of gender reveal- figured I'd be so excited & would just text everyone! Hmm now I might think about it. Good luck!

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meganroselee

Definitely do it. I was so afraid of losing my son even after placement that I declined a baby shower. You only get one chance to enjoy. It's tough Bc obviously the risk of it not working out is there but in retrospect, I wish I let loose a little bit-- nothing in life is guaranteed.

ABMomofBBx3

Thank you Ladies.  I just thought I would share that we did decide to do a little reveal for my immediate family, and I'm so glad we did.  My sister is a photographer so she was capturing all these pictures that I will treasure forever.  Our Birthmom texted the gender to my sister who went and got a giant balloon that was filled with confetti, streamers and other smaller balloons.  She hung it from a tree and myself and my husband and our three sons were standing around it and I popped it, a surprise for us and my parents, niece and nephew who were also watching.  It was sooo fun.  I'm glad we did it because the shock still has not set in that the baby is a girl (!) so I can look back at the pictures and relive that glorious moment as many times as I want as we wait for her to be with us.

So I say...go for it!  We are entitled to enjoy these little moments same as everyone else

sgb721

I'm so excited for you!!!! That sounds like a fantastic surprise!

kva11isho

We are attending an appointment with our EM tomorrow, and hope to learn the gender at that time!  I was considered doing something fun to reveal if it's a boy or a girl, but have decided to just keep it simple.  We surprised my in-laws this past weekend by announcing our match, and somehow my MIL still thought we were announcing a pregnancy (we've told them that's very unlikely).  Moving forward it will be straight-forward communication so we don't have any confusion.  Good luck with whatever you decide! 

ABMomofBBx3

@Strawberryglobug...Thank you so much!

@kva11isho--best of luck to you tomorrow!!  I would love to hear how thing go!

ABMomofBBx3

@Pinkie78, Thank you..it was!!  So fun

asnider22

of course you should be excited and i'm so glad that you were!!  your celebration sounds amazing!!  SUPER happy for you!!  CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!

ABMomofBBx3

Thank you so much @asnider22!!

ABMomofBBx3

@kva11isho--any update??

kva11isho

Yes!  We found out today that our our EM will be having a baby girl!  Doctor had no concerns today  

adoptmommy

Girls all around- we found out Thursday that our EM is having a girl!! We are so excited & didn't even get a few blocks from the dr office before we were both on the phone with our families. Now to spend the weekend on pinterest looking for nursery ideas!

Congrats to kva11isho & ABMomofBBx3! 

Elreid

I'm a birth mom, and from my pov I would love for the adoptive parents to be excited! It is technically not your baby, yet, but you have every right to be excited! Never feel bad for getting excited over something that the birth mom is excited for. I do think there are some boundaries, but you should never be told how to feel about a situation! Congrats on your little girls!! enjoy every minute!

sgb721

Congrats- Wahoo for girls all around!!!!

ABMomofBBx3

@Elreid, thank you for your input, I really appreciate hearing your point of view!

@AdoptMommy and @kva 11isho...WOO HOO!!