Introduction (Ticker Warnings)

sgrobste · August 2013

Please let me know you would rather me not post here. I posted a question yesterday and they women were very sweet and helpful!

Hi my name is Stacey and I am 32 and my DH is 33. We have 2 sons one of which is 7 and one who is going to be 8 months old tomorrow. I was an active poster on SIF and still post now and then. After the difficult and emotional birth of my first son (he was a crash section at 33 weeks) it was found that I had one non-functioning tube and also a biunicorn uterus. At the time there was not a concern about getting pregnant because I had already. In 2008, we started to try for a 2nd baby and after 9 months and clomid I got pregnant. Unfortunately, at 11 weeks we lost the baby. I then had a d & C for that pregnancy and thought I was pregnant again 3 months later. Unfortunately, I found that instead it was left over cells from that pregnancy. So, I had to have a 2nd D & C I then was put back on clomid which never worked again. In 2010 I was refered to an RE where I under went testing and a long surgery. It was found that I had adhesions from the d & C's along with endo. The RE was confident that I would be able to get pregnant though. After 3 IUI's, and no success, we decided to move to IVF. During my first cycle it was determined that my lining was not thick enough to transfer. However at the time the Dr. felt that it may just have been the meds. Unfortunately that was not the case. In fact, the little unterine lining that I did have was damaged. I decided to try a natural FET and I was excited when I came in an my lining was a 8. So, we transfered! a week later we were pregnant and 3 weeks later I had M/C again. At that point we decided to travel to LA to see a Dr. who specialized in the scarring of the uterus (Asherman's) for one attempt to fix my unterus. That Dr. gave me a 20% chance. A few months later, my RE went in to look at things only to find that I was 100% scarred again. At that point it was decided that the only way to have another child was through G.C. We were lucky enough to have a friend carry for us and that is how we were blessed with our 8 month old.

Since his birth, I have now had a complete hysterectomy but I find myself lurking on PAL (not sure why I do that to myself) and I see the belly pictures and it just devistates me. Believe me, I know I am blessed to have two healthy children, but I feel like something has been taken away from me. Why was I chosen to go down this road and will I ever be that person I was before. I find it sad that in order to have another child we would need to win the lotto (which I do not play) or save money for years for the cost of a G.C. Does anyone else feel this way?

Sorry this got so long and I hope I do not sound like I am complaining. I just feel like I am in a funk! Thanks for listening

cuterusaurus · September 2013

I understand. I had an emergency hyster during a cs because of blood loss when my son was born a month ago. I am heartbroken and angry. I will never be able to come to terms with it. Not having a uterus is a real mindfk. I'm sorry you had to go through that. I'm going to get a gc too since I still have one ovary.