Loss Check In

Mrs Nice

Welcome to our checkin!

I am sorry to have to welcome new loss moms this week but am so glad that you have found us. I hope we can bring each other some much needed comfort and support. Please feel free to join in when you are ready and share as much or as little as you wish. Also, if you have any questions you would like answered, just ask! Any lurkers out there please don't be shy, we would like to be able to support you too.

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?

QOTW: Do you avoid watching certin TV shows or movies because they have babies in them?

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

Bayberry12

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? 
Nothing major, just trying to stick to healthy eating and taking care of myself.    

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? 
Thinking about maybe putting more focus into looking for a small part time job.  I'm starting to really miss being out and right now I really feel like I don't have a purpose because I don't have my daughter to take care of and I'm not pregnant.  People always ask me what I do all day?  Like they can't imagine not working or not have kids to take care of. 

QOTW: Do you avoid watching certin TV shows or movies because they have babies in them? 
Yes.  I stopped watching Modern Family and HIMYM.  When the gay couple on MF didn't get to bring home the baby they were going to adopt and were talking about donating all the baby gifts they had, I couldn't take it and stopped watching the show.  I was pregnant the same time Lily was on HIMYM and we would always laugh about all the silly things they went through and felt like it was so true and we could relate. 
I know it's irrational and they are just TV show, but they remind me of a different time and what we lost. 

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

Lately I have been seeing a lot of moms with double strollers, or they have a little one and are pregnant again.  I feel like just when I got used to seeing babies and being ok with it, there are all these women with more than one kid, and I keep thinking I should have mine and be trying for a second, not STILL trying for ONE living child.

BrittianyM

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? Nothing new.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? Still just trying to learn how to live and accept that my daughter is not with us anymore.

QOTW: Do you avoid watching certain TV shows or movies because they have babies in them? I have stopped watching certain shows not b/c they have babies in them but just b/c they bring up memories of when Brooke was here with me.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? I want us to start trying for our rainbow but I have just been diagnosed with Pelvic Inflammatory Disease. Got it only b/c of child birth. This disease can make me infertile so I am really scared and praying everything works out. Its not a bad case but still.

shandorfml2

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?
We cleaned off her grave and redecorated for fall. 2 mums and a little pumpkin. I had a few good cries the last few days...it was overdue.
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?
Going on vacation, and seeing a friend I haven't seen in two years. She knows about Ana and I'm going to share her memory box and photos with her. It will be difficult, but I love sharing my baby. I'm sure there will be a lot of tears.
QOTW: Do you avoid watching certin TV shows or movies because they have babies in them?
Yep. Not as much now as before but we mute commercials (that damn carter's one with the little girl) and I don't watch pregnancy related shows like I used to.
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?           

shandorfml2

Bayberry12 said:

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? 
Nothing major, just trying to stick to healthy eating and taking care of myself.    

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? 
Thinking about maybe putting more focus into looking for a small part time job.  I'm starting to really miss being out and right now I really feel like I don't have a purpose because I don't have my daughter to take care of and I'm not pregnant.  People always ask me what I do all day?  Like they can't imagine not working or not have kids to take care of. 

QOTW: Do you avoid watching certin TV shows or movies because they have babies in them? 
Yes.  I stopped watching Modern Family and HIMYM.  When the gay couple on MF didn't get to bring home the baby they were going to adopt and were talking about donating all the baby gifts they had, I couldn't take it and stopped watching the show.  I was pregnant the same time Lily was on HIMYM and we would always laugh about all the silly things they went through and felt like it was so true and we could relate. 
I know it's irrational and they are just TV show, but they remind me of a different time and what we lost. 

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

Lately I have been seeing a lot of moms with double strollers, or they have a little one and are pregnant again.  I feel like just when I got used to seeing babies and being ok with it, there are all these women with more than one kid, and I keep thinking I should have mine and be trying for a second, not STILL trying for ONE living child.

(((hugs))) I feel the same way.

shandorfml2

shandorfml2 said:

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?
We cleaned off her grave and redecorated for fall. 2 mums and a little pumpkin. I had a few good cries the last few days...it was overdue.
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?
Going on vacation, and seeing a friend I haven't seen in two years. She knows about Ana and I'm going to share her memory box and photos with her. It will be difficult, but I love sharing my baby. I'm sure there will be a lot of tears.
QOTW: Do you avoid watching certin TV shows or movies because they have babies in them?
Yep. Not as much now as before but we mute commercials (that damn carter's one with the little girl) and I don't watch pregnancy related shows like I used to.
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?           

and on my mind this week is 6th month anniversary on Monday. this is a hard one.

Dixon813

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? I want us to start trying for our rainbow but I have just been diagnosed with Pelvic Inflammatory Disease. Got it only b/c of child birth. This disease can make me infertile so I am really scared and praying everything works out. Its not a bad case but still.

Will keep you in my prayers!

Dixon813

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?
No - it's been a rough week.  With DH traveling the past two weeks, hitting the 3 month mark, then learning that DH will be traveling again on their EDD has been hard.  (I don't know why I care so much about their EDD...with triplets, no one would ever make it to 40 weeks, but it's still an important date to me...)
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?
My therapist has been out of town the last two weeks, so I'm looking forward to going back to her this week.  I also really need to commit to a parent support group.  We've made excuses to not go the past 3 months, but it's time.
QOTW: Do you avoid watching certin TV shows or movies because they have babies in them?
Not really, though I still haven't watched the Grey's season finale and haven't been able to bring myself to do it.  Sometimes I feel uncomfortable during certains shows with babies, but not enough to stop watching.
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?
Just been a long week filled with way too many mixed emotions.  This would've been 36 weeks which would've been the longest I would've been allowed to go...

Bruton8288

*LO Ticker warning* 

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? 

I talk more often about my loss with closest friends. Letting them know it's ok

for them to speak her name. I want them to acknowledge she was born even if she was born sleeping. 

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? 

My main goal now is to start taking care of myself. I have a post op appointment 9/4, once I get my OK from my doctor I will be starting to train for a 5K.

QOTW: Do you avoid watching certin TV shows or movies because they have babies in them?   I still watch my usual shows, I just can't go to the baby area in stores. I was at Target the other day and there was a group of expecting moms registering for their baby shower items. Everyone was sharing what they were expecting. I had to leave ASAP, I had tears in my eyes. 

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?   

My baby girl of course. Everyday she is on my mind. Wondering what life would have been is she was here with us. DH always have talked about TTC, when would be the right time, once I feel ready I will let him know. I'm just really scared to be pregnant again. Emotionally & physically I don't think I can handle another loss. 

christie212

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? DH and I just got back from our trip to South America.  This is a trip that was planned before we lost Hope.  Being on vacation and relaxing and being happy was hard, I felt guilty, but knew that Hope would want her parents to be happy.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? We ordered Hope's memorial marker for her grave.  I guess our goal is to make sure it gets complete.  This will be the last thing for Hope's burial.

QOTW: Do you avoid watching certin TV shows or movies because they have babies in them? Yes, I am embarrassed to admit that I watch the Kardashians (trash tv I know), but I cannot stand to watch it.  Anything to do with pregnancy or babies is hard.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?    The whole time on our vacation there were tons of babies on the plane in our hotel etc., BUT ALL girls!  I was wondering where all the boy babies were.  I knew it was just me being hyper sensitive to the baby girls though.  I also was wondering how it would have been to be on the vacation while being pregnant.       

miamoreespresso

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?

Its still fresh for us. We just lost our 24wk premature daughter Lillian after only being 10 days old. She was holding strong, but became sick with NEC and was at 100% oxygen until she started to suffer and we couldn't put her through that any longer. We've been relying on support of our family since Monday.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?

Haven't set a goal yet still finishing arrangements, then we can start looking forward.

QOTW: Do you avoid watching certin TV shows or movies because they have babies in them?

We haven't really watched any Tv this week so we haven't come to that point yet.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?
I feel like its my fault sometimes because I became sick with preeclampsia and there was nothing we could do. We did everything right yet I still got ill which led up to having to deliver early. 

princezjk

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?

Not really. I seem to be really stuck in feelings of guilt. I am convinced that I lost Izzie because I struggled to stay off my back when sleeping. And if this is the reason we lost her, I don't know how to live with that. I just wish she was here and I didn't have to deal with any if this.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?

My next goal is just working on acceptance. I am also working on losing weight and getting healthy for any future pregnancies.

QOTW: Do you avoid watching certin TV shows or movies because they have babies in them?

I know I won't be able to watch Grey's Anatomy when it returns. My pregnancy with Izzie was mirrored by Meredith on the show. She gave birth in the season finally, the day before I found out we lost Izzie. Not sure if any other show will be out for me yet.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

Always my Izzie

bunnybun4

 

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? it's been a terrible and hard week...I started AF on Saturday so I think hormones had a ton to do with it...and my nephews got baptized on Saturday.  It was super hard.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? losing a few more pounds before hopefully a bfp.

QOTW: Do you avoid watching certin TV shows or movies because they have babies in them?not really...I can for the most part do babies...pregnancy really gets me though.  I did cry like a baby when we were watching modern family and gloria had her baby.  I was pregnant with bunny when she was pregnant...ugh...

  Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?  we are finally TTCing again...I am just PETRIFIED of another mc...I honestly don't know if I can climb out of the hole again.