change in custody

shabamwam

I will try to make this as brief as possible. Basically....I have full custody, my ex sees my DS every other weekend, and 1-2 evenings a week. I've done nothing to keep him from DS, I actually push him to see him....Well I have a boyfriend now, and my ex has a girlfriend. My boyfriend stays at my place a couple nights a week. With his schedule the way it is, he is only here when DS is asleep, and leaves before I get DS up. My boyfriend has been around DS, but I'm not ready for that closeness quite yet.

So, my ex sees my boyfriends car outside my place the other morning, is unrealistically pissed, says I lied about having him around DS in the mornings. Though I don't feel like I owe him an explanation, I tried to explain that DS was still asleep...even sent a photo of DS sleeping soundly.
He is now threatening to take me to court to get 50/50 custody, and basically make me pay my lawyer until I'm broke.

I have saved all the harassing texts and voicemails. I know he has nothing against me, I've done nothing wrong but one threat really got to me. My son has beautiful curly hair. He threatened to cut it b/c it was a way to 'hurt me deeply' and oh my god it would. I don't know how I would even react to that, I think I would loose it.

suggestions?

babymama619

Sounds like you've been more than generous with giving BD time with DS. Sounds like he needs to realize that. If he wants to take you to court, then fine, let him. But In the meantime he should know you'll be abiding by the custody arrangement in place. Meaning he will not see DS if he will treat you that way, the mother of his child. Of he wants to waste money and spend time away from his son, then that's his choice. Let him know you've documented all the mean nasty things he's done/said and you will give that to the court. Unless there is something written about bf or gf in the custody agreement you can introduce whomever you want to your son.

Due to my hormones this might be terrible advice. You should probably just let him calm down and see how it plays out.

dmndsr4eva

I wonder why he is mad that your BF is there?  Is he jealous?  Do you think he still wants to be with you? 

My advice to you would be to not take your DS around your BF.  I don't know how long you've been broken up with BD but I made the mistake of jumping into a relationship right after my break up and I sort of regret it.  Give yourself time to be on your own and process everything.  Focus on your DS and don't let him get attached to your BF because if it doesn't work out between you two it is going to be hard on all of you and that is the last thing you want. 

dmndsr4eva

Also, I did go in front of a judge a few times and they do NOT care about your personal life or your bickering.  They deal with this all day and all they want to know is who is going to take care of the child and when and what is best for the child.  I ended up going to mediation and my ex agreed to a 70/30 split of time.  Honestly, even if you get 50/50 it will be hard at first but it is good for your child to be with both parents if his dad is a good dad.  In the long run the thing that is going to help you the most is establishing a good relationship with his dad.  So that you all can enjoy watching your child grow up without court battles and fighting.  Try to get along for the sake of the child so you both can attend his T-Ball and all the important events he will have growing up.