S+TM: fess up your rule breaking, rebel mamas!

MamaFantastic

For those who will ask: S+TM = second (or more) time moms

I was thinking back tonight on my hazy newborn days and laughing at how many classic safety or "best practice" rules I broke, partially out of practicality and partially out of sheer desperation. I think it could be nice to give the new moms some reassurance that not everything comes easily, goes perfectly, or follows expert recommendations.

Which rules did you toss? (newborn or older... let's hear 'em all!)

thomas930

Both of my babies were belly sleepers.

MamaFantastic

For the first week of his life, our son slept on his belly, on OUR bellies, tucked into place by a "blanket belt" as we laid propped up by a million pillows on the couch. Just try to count how many rules we broke there

But you know what? We ALL slept that week, and it was worth it.

Tambcat

Carseats, schmarseats.

j/k!

H and I both slept sitting up while holding her.

thomas930

Yes!! 

We bed share too 

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nikki912

During night feedings I'd fall asleep with him still in bed. Sometimes I'd put him back in his crib and not remember and start freaking out thinking he was lost in the sheets or on the floor.

Eta: and I used my boobs as pacifiers bc he wouldn't take one

Scarlett&Gatsby

DD2 was a belly sleeper, too. She also bed shared for the first 3 months. And I never sleep trained either kid. DD1 slept in our room for 13 months until she self weaned. DD2 is still in our room, and likely will be until she completely cuts night feedings. I feel like we all get the best sleep this way.

MamaFantastic

I'll answer for older years too:

Our preschooler LOVES to "drive" the car, and we sometimes stop at our mailbox and let him sit in our lap as we roll down our driveway to our garage. Sometimes I wonder if our neighbors freak out

Scarlett&Gatsby

We also let our kids try cake WELL before the first birthday.

MamaFantastic

nikki912 said:

start freaking out thinking he was lost in the sheets or on the floor.

That irrational, panicky scramble as you fling off the sheets, convinced you'll find a suffocated baby beneath, is the WORST. I haven't thought about that in years! I so remember those days and those specific fears.

AcaAwkward

Nurse to sleep. I STILL nurse to sleep sometimes for naps (although someone else can put her down just fine without any soothing) at 18 mo.

I used a nipple sheild for at least 2 or 3 months even though the LC and KellyMom and LLL said it would ruin nursing to use it longer than a few days.

I totally tried to co-sleep out of sheer exhaustion but DD actually preferred to be in her own space.

I let her sleep with a lovey before it's recommended. Her lovey is a breathable muslin mini blanket, but I still stressed about it.

AcaAwkward

spasticfantastic said:

nikki912 said:

start freaking out thinking he was lost in the sheets or on the floor.

That irrational, panicky scramble as you fling off the sheets, convinced you'll find a suffocated baby beneath, is the WORST. I haven't thought about that in years! I so remember those days and those specific fears.

I did this All. The. Time. Even months after we moved DD from the PNP in our room to her crib, I'd still wake up frantic. There is nothing more terrifying.

thomas930

Both kids got their own pillows around 16 months.

teachingmama11

We let my son sleep in his swing for a couple hours in the early morning for a couple weeks or so when he was a few months old. For some reason that was the only place he would sleep that time of day ( was fine in his crib all other times) and after being up multiple times in the night, even sleeping on the couch next to him was better than nothing. Also, once he could move to his belly we let him sleep that way, even though it was well before the recommended time. (Technically, his doctor said there wasn't really anything we could do about it anyway, but at first the worried FTM in me really wanted to try! Then I realized how much better he slept & forgot all about that. )

joyfullyfound

Pfft. Like, every thing? I swore we wouldn't co-sleep, and then that's what we did exclusively for over 6 months, haha. Belly sleeping... She barely ever wears shoes... She won't wear a hat on hot days and it gives MIL a heart attack. 

In pregnancy, I was one judgy b!tch. In parenthood, I'm totally meh. Whatever works for you is what you should do. 

amhah09

Bedsharing. Nursing to sleep. Belly sleeping.

AbbyPug19

Wiped the pacifier off on my shirt after it feel on the floor...lol 5 second rule

melzh

DD slept with us, she used blankets and pillows bc she wouldn't sleep without them.

jlrschmidt

We still co-sleep at 12 months and still nurse to sleep (he's always been a fickle sleeper). I don't feel that co-sleeping should be "against the rules" if practiced safely. I always felt he was safer with me. Also, I slept with him belly to belly for the first few months, propped up on pillows with pillows under my arms so I wouldn't inadvertently "drop" him.

DemoDoll

DD slept in her swing for the first 3 months :-??

We started baby food at 4 months even though the doctors said 5-6 months. She was lunging at our food.

Since stopping purees, DD doesn't get a vegetable at EVERY meal. She does get fruit though.

sarahm7310

No car seat.  That one has been rough - but it's next to impossible to do here.  We try when it's possible to put him in a carseat - but most of the time when we're getting around town - he's on one of our laps.  It still makes me cringe - I think that's why I prefer walking everywhere!  

MamaFantastic

sarahm7310 said:

No car seat.  That one has been rough - but it's next to impossible to do here.  We try when it's possible to put him in a carseat - but most of the time when we're getting around town - he's on one of our laps.  It still makes me cringe - I think that's why I prefer walking everywhere!  

Are you taking public transportation in a city? I can imagine that's tough.

MamaFantastic

I used to nanny 2 kids in a major city and it IS next to impossible when you're taking buses and taxis everywhere. If that's her reason too, I can vouch that it's truly difficult.

sexyntexy

I didn't BF. I tried and failed. We co-slept some. We let DD sleep anywhere like carseat, swing. She loved the baby Einstein video.

emnoahmom

We co-slept, still do sometimes, nursed to sleep, took a bottle to bed, kept pacifiers after a year, kept a bottle past a year, gave juice (watered down though) before a year We take naps on a couch too because that's how our youngest will nap, and occasionally my older kids fall asleep to a show at night. Oh, and I didn't sleep train, gasp, even with all the different methods. It doesn't mean that sleep wasn't or isn't important to me, it just meant that causing my baby and myself distress by CIO wasn't an option for me. Also, I didn't have the time or energy to continue to go back into the room every five minutes. I wore my baby until they slept if needed, or put them in a bouncer ect. whatever worked for that baby I did. I think every baby is different when it comes to sleep and if someone says they have a good sleeper because they sleep trained, I think they just have an easier sleeper and maybe just an easier baby in general. Also, I have a few very picky eaters and it's not because I didn't introduce them to a variety of healthy foods as an infant. I swear one day they woke up and were like "I don't like anything." I could probably think of more if I tried too!

J&NL

I coslept before, pacis, belly sleeping, switching to formula.

I did a lot of stuff I said I wouldn't do but I think at that point it's all about what makes baby happy.

sexyntexy

Sleep deprivation is so.damn.awful. I knew better than to never say never. Parenting is hard stuff.

J&NL

spasticfantastic said:

I'll answer for older years too:

Our preschooler LOVES to "drive" the car, and we sometimes stop at our mailbox and let him sit in our lap as we roll down our driveway to our garage. Sometimes I wonder if our neighbors freak out

We've done this around the apartment couplex. She sits in DHs lap while we basically idle to the garage that's just two buildings down. She has a hoot though!

J&NL

And food? Ha! She eats whatever she will eat. She is a picky toddler and doesn't sit down even if her life depended on it so we turn the tv on too. In fact, she watched tv before she turned one too because I was currently in nursing school and the 30 minute break meant I could do my homework and study.

Ok I'm done

hcam0707

Hey ladies, thanks for this post! As a FTM I've been trying to stick to majority of the rules; however, you could literally drive yourself crazy trying to read labels!
My husband and I also discussed different parenting choices we are going to make. I am one of those who says no co-sleeping, and my husband keeps saying, "I can't wait for the baby to sleep in between us!" I always argue back and say NO! But, I think it's because I'm more afraid that our child will be 4 and still in our bed. Listening to all of your rule breaking makes me feel like I may be a little more relaxed once the baby comes.

Thanks for a helpful thread!

sexyntexy

I also think you get more relaxed with each child. I followed a lot of the "rules" w/ DD but it's hard when #2 comes. For example if you let your 2y old watch tv how are you going to keep the baby from watching? Also my big kid watched more tv than normal because we didn't want her to get into stuff or come screaming into the room while trying to get the baby to nap. Or let her watch a show while we shower. The TV has been used way more since we had #2.

Beener0514

Let's see...

 

I didn't remember to take my prenatal vitamin everyday. I took it often but not everyday.

Nursed to sleep.

Coslept for a short time.

TV time before 2 years old.

Introduced purees at 5 months instead of the 6 the pedi recommended because she wouldn't take a bottle and I had to go back to work.

NicoleAnne416

Swing and bouncy not strapped in when newborns, sleeping in bouncy or swing as newborns and babies sometimes, having some frosting etc before first bday, with my first I didn't know no pb and he had some before he was whatever age they should be, I'm sure there are more!

Rrrrrachel

Belly sleeping, falling asleep nursing (bth of us) sitting in a chair.

katiedidthat

I NEVER took my prenatal (maybe 20 times?), we co-slept with pillows and a comforter from day one (still do), nurse to sleep, don't sterlize anything (I have boiled his pacifier a total of 5 times in 10 months), didn't switch up to the next size pacifier- he still uses a nicu soothie, let him sleep in the swing and he had ice cream cake at less than 6 months.  There weren't many rules I actually did follow..

Holljade

I let my kid eat chicken nuggets and sweets. I didn't exclusively make my own baby food (I made it once, realized the effort in making it wasn't worth how long it lasted until it went bad). I keep "kid" food in my house. THE HORROR!!!!

Also? We cosleep now (DD will be 4 in oct) after fighting the bedtime battle every night for months after she started school my husband and I decided to cosleep to keep everyone somewhat sane. AndPlusAlso? I really like having DD sleep next to me. Its so selfish, but they are only young once.

kali55

I nursed to sleep, co slept, pretty much did whatever I could to get some sleep myself, and I plan on doing the same thing, except this time without the guilt

DS also had sugar way WAY before his first birthday.  I bribe him with cheetos when we go grocery shopping to keep him from having a tantrum.  Since I've gotten pregnant, DS has had pancakes for dinner more times than I care to admit.  

Tambcat

Oh yeah, well reading this it seems I broke a lot of "rules." lol.  She slept in her swing, she napped face down on her boppy next to me on the couch, I didn't keep the air at 72 or whatever is the supposed optimal temp, I gave her a pacifier starting when we were in the hospital, gave her pacis that had fallen on the floor, didn't sterilize after the first few weeks, FF by choice starting at 7 weeks, I bottlefed her to sleep, didn't move up nipple sizes past size 2, didn't always buckle her into her RnP, we watched tv with her in the room and now she watches tv, she had whole eggs before 1...

SB31

DD slept on her belly on my chest for the first 5 months (until she could roll over). It was the only way she would stay asleep. She really needed the physical closeness. Also, she was so wiggly that I hardly slept. For five months.

AcaAwkward

We also broke all the food rules...didn't wait days between introducing new foods, gave her two new foods at a time, never bought anything aimed at babies (rice cereal, baby oatmeal, baby yogurt), gave her whole eggs, berries, PB, and shellfish all well before 1 yr, etc.

Twirple

I gave him a bottle of expressed breast milk at just a few days old when he wouldn't breastfeed.  I had a lactation consultant tell me I could have ruined him.  We have co-slept a few times when we were desperate.  We skipped over purees and did baby-led weaning, which freaked out my Mom and MIL.  He rarely wears a hat when we go out in the sun.  He knows more about the iPad than I do.