Friend Expecting Twins (after already having 2 children) - Advice Needed Please!

TonyaCody06

Hi ladies! I hang around the TTGP board but I have a friend who just found out yesterday she's expecting twins (EDD April 22). She has 2 kids close in age already and they were trying for 1 more. So of course, twins is overwhelming at the moment till this all sinks in  

Her concern is twins AFTER already having 2 kids that have to also be cared for. If she makes it to her due date, her oldest will have just turned 4 and her youngest will be 2.5yrs old by then. She plans on breastfeeding or at least pumping. Any advice on how to adapt, juggle, entertain, etc. the other children with new twins around the house? She doesn't have family in town but will have summer help from traveling family. 

Thanks!

pea-kay

That happened to my coworker. I guess you do what everyone does...you just do what you gotta do! Getting help lined up ahead of time would be helpful, but it's harder with multiples to know when you're going to have them.

kgs0505

Definitely have her come to this board!  it's so helpful!  But if she's not amenable to joining us, my biggest piece of advice is to start thinking up ways of getting some help. 

Mainly I'd want someone to come help wrangle the older kids (take them to the park, keep them entertained, fed, bathed...), while I was getting used to handling two newborns. 

I have one older kiddo (just 2yo at the time of the birth), and I find it's a logistics problem more than anything else when it comes to leaving the house.  Having a second adult would be helpful.  She should think about any relatives/friends that are retired or out of work for awhile that may be able to come live in for several weeks or so.  Or find a good baby sitter to help out regularly.  My step-MIL did this for us, and it was a godsend.  She was there when I went on bedrest until pretty much I had the girls, with a week or so off in the middle.  Then came back for another couple weeks after my mom left.  It really gave me the time to adjust to the new reality and feel more confident in myself.

LottaLattes

If she can, get the older kids in preschool and/or have someone come over a couple hours a day to help with the older kids. Mine were 7 and 10 when the twins were born and while they can care for themselves a good deal, they still needed me. It is just harder the more they need you!

And it is ok if they watch a little extra tv in the beginning, survival is key! Good luck to her!

sparkman-to-be

I'll be in this boat. 4 year old, 20 month old and newborn twins. I go through periods where I'm incredibly overwhelmed and others where I think so many other people have done it, so so can I. No advice but to take the help that's offered. All of it. Being on bed rest has been a huge lesson in accepting others offers. They're blessings.

TonyaCody06

Thanks ladies!

I think her 2 kiddos go to a MDO a couple times a week. But that would involve her loading everyone up and dropping them off/picking them up and that is tough with newborns. Her husband works FT and they just moved to a new state with no family. 

I know one concern was BFing in the middle of the night. If only 1 wakes up crying, do you go ahead and feed both to try and keep on same schedule. 

I'll send her over to this post to read the responses. I don't think she has a bump acct but hoping she will get one for the support. 

kggmrgajgcag

I got on the board.  I am the friend.  Our family is across the country and we cannot afford to pay for a sitter all the time  God is in control.  We will figure it out, but loving the advice so far.  Keep it coming!

ceechie

I have a 4 yo, 2 yo and 2 mos twin girls. It'll be fine. Yeah, I'm tired and haven't washed my hair since Monday. But I made coffee. And everyone had lunch. Go shopping on the weekend and get some good crockpot recipes. Also, join a local MoMs group. Made me feel like my life was good and normal. Because it is. Even though youre going to get crazy comments of how hard and horrible it will be. And get a good stroller. We put one of those buggy board attachments on our double and it's amazing. Ps- I don't have family near by, diff states, and don't have hired help. You'll be fine.

jessican08

You'll find a way to make it work [:)]

Your friend said you had a question about nursing. Some women feed on demand and some adhere by the "one up, both up" adage.

I kept mine on a pretty tight 3 hour feeding schedule and always did "one up, both up", day or night and it worked great for us.

TobieRose

I know someone who was/is in your friend's exact situation. She had four under four for awhile (maybe still does ...? Can't recall when her eldest's birthday is); her twins are now 9 months old. She blogs at rosie-ablogformymom.blogspot.com. I would encourage your friend to visit her blog and read it! 

I would imagine that the four year old will/could actually be more helpful now that s/he's older. I've heard from other moms that 5 years old is a magic number when they start being able to do chores, etc. I also think that it's possible having two older kids means they will be able to entertain each other sometimes. Of course, I don't have personal experience (yet), and it probably also depends on the personalities of her children, but I bet there are at least some things like that that will be easier than you'd guess!  

Best of luck to your friend!