I didn't think he was a bully...

travnicek

My two and a half year old has always been described as very "sweet". He has a high vocabulary, and is not a climber/jumper. He has a one year old sister who he is generally kind to.

Last week, my son pushed (purposefully) my friend's one year old daughter. My friend's daughter was not trying to take a toy from my son, or a similar situation. It seems to me that he just out-right pushed her! Since then, my son has pushed my one year old daughter several times. 

Each time this has happened, my son has been talked to/put in time-out. He acknowledges what he has done, apologizes and says, "I'm sorry, Mom. It was an accident." 

Is this a phase?!?! He has NEVER shown signs of aggression like this before. I am a SAHM, so I don't know what he would be like with a group of other children. By all accounts, his basic needs are being met, no life changes are happening, and my DH and I are involved and present during the day. I just want to know if any other moms have experienced a "bully" phase and if it will be better (or worse before it gets better...)?

Thanks.

sschwege

Just keep doing what you are doing, consistency is key!  

We are struggling with sort of the same thing right now.  DD was so good to her brother when he was first born and up until the point where he could sit up.  Now she goes over to him and starts out being nice, but then it turns negative.  Like for example she might start out by giving him a hug, then pull him over to the floor.  But just like what you are saying it seems to come from no where!  What makes it hard is, sometimes it seems to be a sincere desire to play with him and then she takes it too far.  I don't know what to do, I've just started setting a timer and she can't play/touch him for two minutes.  

I guess the other thing you could start doing is taking note of what time of day it happens, what's going on when it happens.  See if you can find a pattern.  I know for DD I have to keep an extra close eye on her before nap time because that's when she seems to especially 'lose control'.  Good luck!  You are not alone!

AimeeL85

My son is also 2.5 and has had issues with pushing my friend's 1 year old daughter as well, exact same thing.  He is not normally like that, and has never really done it with kids his age.  He doesn't seem mean spirited - he actually usually gives her a hug and then for some reason pushes her (though he's also done it without a hug), I really have no idea why.  Definitely gets an automatic time-out.   He's never done it with his sister, but she's 8 months old so I think it's different.

Sometimes I feel like he just does it to get a reaction or see what will happen to her. Almost like treating her like a doll because she's smaller and nonverbal...I don't know, I can't put my finger on it.