Mat leave ending & returning to work

steffiel

Hi ladies! After four glorious months at home, I will be back to work fulltime within a few weeks and DS will begin daycare five days a week at the Y. I've honestly never felt so anxious or sick to my stomach in my life nor have I dreaded anything more. It's not question of the care he will receive (I'm totally confident about this), but more so how I won't be with him for such large chunks of time during the week and missing things, especially firsts. I will be working from home 3 days a week to lessen the load of my commute, which gives me some comfort through all of this..

If you have any stories, words of encouragement or what helped get you through this transition, I'd love to hear them.

jd614

believe me...if ANYONE wants to be a sahm its me and i am making out just fine! in all seriousness you are very lucky you will be working from home part time i would kill for that, to have the ability to eat breakfast with DS and pick him up before 6pm...and do laundry/go food shopping on a day other than sunday.  I am away from DS from 545am to 6pm...and believe me when i tell you, DS has no questions about who his mom is. He reaches for me the second i walk in the door. If i put my stuff down and wash my hands without going to him first, he cries. I get the best cuddles of anyone and every single night and weekend is the best of my life because its with him. you truly appreciate every second you are home and with your child. I feel like i Have so much patience as well because I am not with him all the time. Plus i feel good about being able to provide for him and put away a lot of money for his future etc, it helps take the burden off DH which i love. Good luck to you-for me its never gotten "easy" but certainly easier and definitely bearable.

jlaOK

My DD started daycare this week (this is my 3rd week back at work) so I can completely understand how you feel.  Feeling confident in his care is the most important thing, other than that you'll just have to deal with the emotional side of it.  Remember that it will be hard at first but it will get easier.  It is never easy to leave you little one, but it makes those evening snuggles so much better.  Good luck!

blushingbride_08

I too dreaded going back to work after maternity leave. When the day finally hit I cried like.a.baby. the entire drive into work. I couldn't bare not seeing my LO and missing milestones. Anyway the first day back I asked my manager if I could work part time but unfortunately that option was not available. I stayed for approximately 1 month and then resigned (and I had been at that job for 10 years) so it was a big decision. We made some sacrifices so that I could be home with my LO. I did some freelance and volunteer work for 1 year to stay current in my skills. I took a huge pay cut but it has been worth it to be with my LO. I now have a new part time job working from home. My point is where there is a will, there is a way. It is all about finding balance and what works for your family.

Drea926

jd614 said:

believe me...if ANYONE wants to be a sahm its me and i am making out just fine! in all seriousness you are very lucky you will be working from home part time i would kill for that, to have the ability to eat breakfast with DS and pick him up before 6pm...and do laundry/go food shopping on a day other than sunday.  I am away from DS from 545am to 6pm...and believe me when i tell you, DS has no questions about who his mom is. He reaches for me the second i walk in the door. If i put my stuff down and wash my hands without going to him first, he cries. I get the best cuddles of anyone and every single night and weekend is the best of my life because its with him. you truly appreciate every second you are home and with your child. I feel like i Have so much patience as well because I am not with him all the time. Plus i feel good about being able to provide for him and put away a lot of money for his future etc, it helps take the burden off DH which i love. Good luck to you-for me its never gotten "easy" but certainly easier and definitely bearable.

I'm going back Tuesday and have been freaking out about it! Thank you for sharing your story!

traveltheworld

It's going to be ok!  Is it possible for you to take your LO to DC a few days before he officially starts?  Our DC let us do that and I got to spend some time with him there and got to know the teachers, so I felt more comfortable.  The first few weeks are extremely tough though.  DS was sick non-stop for the first 5 weeks, got both DH and I sick and I was so close to pulling him out of DC, but we stuck with it and now he loves it.  He has a big smile on every morning when we drop him off.  He was a very clingy baby, but now he is much more independent.  At 13 months, he has learned how to put his toys way, share toys with other kids, use a spoon, drink from a cup, etc.  It's amazing how much he has learned from just watching the other kids.  Also, keep in mind that the DC staff are paid to play with and take care of your LO full time.  I almost feel guilty now on weekends because we have to run errands and do some chores so DS doesn't get our full attention like he does at DC.  And the other PP is right - you become much more patient with your LO because you are not the one who is changing his dirty diaper for the 7th time that day.  :P

Don't worry too much about "firsts" - whenever you see him do something for the first time, that's a "first"!  I was also very worried that DS would bond more strongly with his teachers, but everyone told me that it wouldn't happen, and it's true!  DS absolutely adores me

I meal-plan and prepare as much as I can on Sunday nights, so on weekdays I only spend about 20 minutes making dinner, allowing me to spend more time with DS.

 

jess9802

I found the anticipation of going back to be much harder than actually doing it. After the first day it was nice to be back in the grown-up world, going to coffee and lunch, meeting with clients, and so on. For the most part I haven't felt like I've missed out on too many firsts. I did take a week-long vacation in March and just spent it at home with him, and that was really nice.

Good luck!

JessAnnJ

I went back to work after 16 weeks of maternity leave in April. As PP say the anticipation is much worse and you will get into a routine. There are definitely days when it is still tough, especially after long weekends and vacation, but you will handle it better than you think. I was terrified that she would cry all day because she was a pretty fussy baby, but she didn't. She likes all of the extra stimulation she gets at daycare. For example she hated our bouncer. She never used it. But I walked into daycare one day and she was just as happy as a clam in the bouncer staring at an older baby. In terms of firsts, that has not bothered me. She seems to do things at daycare sooner than she does at home, but it's new to me when I see it so it's just as exciting. As PP said she knows I am her mom. The smiles I get when I pick her up our amazing. I cherish my nights and weekends with her. So even though I spend less overall time with her, the time I do spend is quality time because I appreciate it much more. I also like to tell myself that there is some benefit to my daughter to see that her mom has a successful career. Anyway, it is emotionally very hard right now, but I think later on, when they are in school we will be happy with our decision. Or at least that is what I hope. Also, there will be days when you are happy with the break that work provides. Oh how I enjoy actually getting to spend 30 min eating lunch. Best of luck to you.

ASmallWonder

Totally normal fears and concerns but they really aren't warranted. Any time you're away from your LO you risk missing a first.  I know it seems like a huge deal but he could just as easily say his first word or take his first step while you're at the grocery store or in the bathroom