Who stays home when your LO is sick?

maybebaby3456

Just curious for working moms - Do you stay home with your little when they are sick, does your spouse, do you alternate?  My 14 MO was sick last night and today, I decided to take her to the Dr. (small viral infection, nothing to worry about) but when it came to the realization this morning (the oh sh*t, she isn't better and cant go to daycare) my H was like OK, well you guys have a good day see ya!  

He didnt even expect a discussion about it, he just assumed I would be the one calling in, no big deal...this is a problem.  We both make the exact same amount of $, I have been at my job for 7 months and  LO has had to stay home sick from daycare three times and it has been me every single time.  Not to mention I take and pick up every single day.  H works in surrounding towns doing construction so he is rarely around daycare area come 5 pm but I feel like he needs to be putting in more of an effort.  He already knows we are having a discussion about this later tonight so I WILL be addressing him also but I was just curious...

Who stays home with the sick kid in your guys household?  Also curious to know your drop off/pick up schedules for daycare! Thanks for letting me vent.

AshleySmith212

We alternate who stays home.  I usually get called by day care and then me and the hubby will sort out who has a less busier day and plan who stays home what days. 

ASmallWonder

DH takes the train and works an hour train ride away, never mind accounting for how long he'd have to wait for the train to depart.  For those reasons I do all daycare drop offs and pickups and all middle of the day sick pick ups.  But for full sick days we alternate as best we can and take a look at our schedules to see who has a more flexible day.  Our newer baby was sick for two days last week, three days after I started back after maternity leave.  DH had to suck it up and use two sick days because of my recent back to work status.  You just roll with it but yes, your DH needs to know it has to be a case by case thing with a discussion.

dufferoo

I'm not exactly in your shoes because my husband and I work very different schedules (well back when I was working), but in general either one of us could take off if necessary if one of our kids were sick. In reality though, I would be more likely to do so. For one, because I worked in a really family-oriented setting with a bunch of moms (including my boss) who wouldn't flinch if I needed to take the day off to take care of my kid. But also, I am the more nurturing of the 2 of us, so I am more comfortable being the one home with my kids when they are sick, and I think the kids are more comfortable with me when they are down. Clearly, ever family is different, and if you want to take turns with your husband, I think you are well within your rights, but these are just a couple reasons I think sometimes moms wind up being the call-offer.

blu-eyedwife

It depends on who has what going on.  Whoever can get away from work the most easily does.  When we both have rough schedules, we try to break it down into half days (one takes morning the other takes afternoons).  My son's daycare is closed almost every Thurs/Fri in September.  For most of those DH and I are each taking off half a day and trading off at lunch time.

tbmadeamistake

Poor DH ends up with sick day duty more often than not, as he has the ability to work from home and I don't.  Not that he gets much work done, but as long as he's checking emails and can show some sort of progress, they don't tend to question it.  I do middle of the day pick ups (and all drop off/pick ups unless scheduled in advance), because I work 10 minutes away and he works 40 minutes away.  If I can stay home, I do use a sick day, but C keeps insisting upon being sick when I cannot possibly take a day off (I'm the backup for three different people).  Poor DH spent half the winter home with her. 

Mustardseed2007

We alternate so that neither one of us are out too much unless one of us has something big going on and absolutely can't get off. Basically we try to do it so we inconvenience both our jobs the least amount.

And by the way, I make 2x what he does. It doesn't matter who makes more. We both need our jobs!

You deff. need to talk to your DH; it's time for an attitude adjustment!

rubber_chicken

I do.  First, because I can work remotely, and usually skew my workday a bit.  I can at least get a half a days work done after DH is home, so I don't have to take a full day. 

And second, because every time my DH is home alone with the baby, my cow of a MIL ends up popping over.  She's welcome to visit on weekends and such, but she'd rather avoid me.  And I'd rather be there to supervise.  (The woman once told me that DD doesn't really have life-threatening food allergies, I just need to stop breastfeeding and then she'll grow out of it.  :-O)

skibunny59

DD has never really been sick.  My mom watches her so I guess if it were just a slight cold I would still bring her to my mom's and go to work.  If she were really sick I would probably take a sick day from work unless it's close to concert time (I'm a music teacher) then I guess DH would take off.  Our jobs are both pretty flexible when it comes to taking sick days.

CYBURRCHIC

I do unless it is a day DH is off. He has a weird rotating schedule.

eyenigh

It's usually me because I work in a pretty easygoing environment that is very understanding about sick children. However, if I have a crazy meeting schedule that can't be adjusted, my husband will definitely do it. He's just one of those people that HATES to miss a single day of work and he acts like it's such a big deal. Listening to him get all fussy and stressed about missing a day is usually enough for me to just stay home myself. Honestly, for a sick baby, I'd rather it be me anyway. My husband either downplays important things or calls me every 10 minutes to ask me stupid little things.

TL;DR: He'll do it but it's just easier if I do.

sunnyday016

It depends on what our days look like. Sometimes it's me, and sometimes it's him. Just depends who can more easily get out of work.

jnnfrrose6

So far we've managed to split the time, but my DH seems to think that he can still work from home when LO is with him.  LO is well beyond the point of putting in one spot to entertain himself and not move, or put down for two 2-3 hour nap, so DH can't actually get any work done.  As a result, last time he stayed home I got a very rude email stating that he would NEVER do it again and I needed to be the one to stay home as his job covers the majority of our expenses, so it's "more important."  Needless to say, we had a talk about that one, but from here on out, unless it's an emergency, I'll probably be staying home (it's easier for me to do work from home...less commitment to my time).

aeh72

My husband would probably expect it would be me because I have a more flexible job (and nicer boss) - but anytime I've had to ask him if he could do it or if he could split the day, it's never been an issue.

ETA - I do daycare drop off and pick up - again because of my schedule and I work (at home) very near daycare - but he can almost always pick up or drop off if I have a scheduling conflict.

FabulousMrs.P

Usually we alternate or go by who's schedule will be least affected.

ebp913

eyenigh said:

It's usually me because I work in a pretty easygoing environment that is very understanding about sick children. However, if I have a crazy meeting schedule that can't be adjusted, my husband will definitely do it. He's just one of those people that HATES to miss a single day of work and he acts like it's such a big deal. Listening to him get all fussy and stressed about missing a day is usually enough for me to just stay home myself. Honestly, for a sick baby, I'd rather it be me anyway. My husband either downplays important things or calls me every 10 minutes to ask me stupid little things.

TL;DR: He'll do it but it's just easier if I do.

This is me too.  It's a lot more stress on DH when he misses work than it is for me.  

preggersin2011

- do you have sick days? Does your partner? The people I know that work construction do not have sick days since they work on contracts- if they dont go to work they dont get paid. I dont think how much money you make is a factor here. I think the biggest topic to discuss is how calling in sick will affect your respective jobs. If my friend told his boss he stayed home from the construction site to watch his kid, he probably would be the first to be laid off.

vjmc21

For us, it makes more sense for me to do most of the sick days and drop offs and pick ups, but I think that the difference in our situations is that it's mutually agreed upon, not an expectation. We'd be having a discussion, too, if my H expected me to do so all of the time.

ETA: How did your discussion go?

LeofgythsMama

The only day that is an issue for us is Fridays because its the only day that both of us work.  I make more money than DH but my husband's job is permanent and is our source of health insurance, it is me who gets to stay home if she is sick on a Friday. 

Divallyn

AshleySmith212 said:

We alternate who stays home.  I usually get called by day care and then me and the hubby will sort out who has a less busier day and plan who stays home what days. 

This. My work is very deadline orientated. So I take the days that are not important in my deadline and if they are my hubby stays home.

allardr

I'm not really in this situation at this point but with my parents it was based on each's job. Who had more sick/vacation time, whether one was still "new" to a job so didn't want to appear like taking tons time off, etc. 

My dad always worked in Construction -- not really a friendly job for "need time off for sick kid", they want you there rain or shine like 6 days a week. My mom's in health care so she always took off they were more understanding.

Lovelife14

It's a case-by-case thing with us, too. Sometimes it's me, sometimes it's him, and one time I stayed until midday and then he came home so I could go in for an important appointment.