OAD with no cousins?

KatieB19

In reading though past discussions, I noticed that a good number of you are ok in your OAD decision because you are close with family and your child will grow up with cousins, so you feel confident that your only will have familial bonds with children their own age and will have lifelong instant friends (for lack of a better phrase...).

I'm just curious, does anyone else not have this? My sister is still in college and not having kids anytime soon, and DH's sister doesn't foresee herself having any kids at all. And actually, DH and I dream of moving across the country, on the opposite coast from any family anyway. I'm kinda just banking on DS making friends in school, around the neighborhood, etc.

kristennd

LO will never have cousins. In addition, we're 2-3 time zones away from all family anyway.

Arcadia1114

Dh is an only child. My sister is 35 and has no intention of having children. We make a point of socializing ds and he seems fine without having and family members his age.

firewife9278

DH's brother has a daughter who is 1.5 years older than DD. But we haven't seen DH's brother in 6 years, and obviously never met his daughter. My brother is 31, not dating and not married, so there wn't be kids anytime soon.

I have several cousins with children, but we will really only see each other on holidays. We're just not that close.

We're hoping that DD will make a lot of friends in school and the neighborhood.

Chapter79

No cousins here!

Well, she's about to have her first in many many months.  My sister in law just found out she's pregnant.  That said, she kindaaaaa lives across the ocean in Holland. So.

My baby brother is 21 and in college.  He's engaged and getting married next May.  Don't think a kid will be happening, they haven't even had sex.  So we'd need a stork there.

My other brother (28) was married last year.  That would be our best bet!  But they live 5 hours or so away. So..

No, no cousins.
She's in school, though, and has made a BUNCH of friends.

KatieB19

It's nice to know I'm not the only one!! I am a little nervous for DS because he seems to be like me, more on the introvert side of the spectrum, and that can be harder when trying to make friends. But I know he'll be fine. I had only a handful of friends growing up (probably less now), but they were always closer than family.

KL777

DS's cousins his age all live in a different state.  Some of them are within a 3 hour driving range.  DS has and will make plenty of friends at church, school, and my mother's group.

eyenigh

My son has two first cousins (both girls) that are 7 and 11 but we really never see them.  The age gap really prevents much of a relationship at this point but they also come from a toxic family environment, which is the bigger problem. Their mother uses them as tools in the issues that she has with other people. A good example: she wouldn't let them come to my son's first birthday party because her father (the kids' grandfather) would be there. Grandpa is a good guy that she won't speak to anymore because he refused to lend her any more money after years of bailing her out of situation after ridiculous situation that she caused herself. It's a sad situation for those poor kids.

hopefulmom81

I am an only and though I have many cousins, they aren't a part of my life, nor will they be a support system for me after my parents pass away, so I can kind of speak to that perspective.

It is similar to being an only, many of us don't miss what you don't have because you don't know any different. You fill your life with other things.  For me, I have many close, close friends.  I don't ever feel like I was slighted because of not having close blood relatives.

jehprb

DH's half brother married later in life and won't be having kids.  My only sibling is 30 and while she does currently live with her boyfriend of 5yrs I know she said she didn't want kids unless she was married but once she got to her late 20s she decided that she's not sure she even wants kids anymore - she's very career oriented.

So yeah, my only child has no cousins and may never...and even if he does there'd be a big enough age gap that he wouldn't even care. He's 7.5 so even if my sister had a baby tomorrow he's obviously not gonna be interested in playing a newborn.

We also don't have any friends with kids - most of them have none or now they've started families in the last 2 years.  So DS didn't get regular social interaction with peers until part time PreK and then starting school.  He's totally normal and fine, promise :-)

arbutusbride

kristennd said:

LO will never have cousins. In addition, we're 2-3 time zones away from all family anyway.

This is our situation.  We have a few close friends with young babies or babies on the way but the rest of our family is on the east coast while we live on the west.  

SoDoMojo

DS does have a lot of cousins but the only ones that live close enough for him to *know* are much older (13 and older). We hardly ever see the kids that live out of state. 

We do have close friends (friends of DH's from HS) that have 2 little girls who DS adores. I asked him once about his cousins and he named them. 

He's only recently gotten hung up on having friends/cousins to play with. He'll be starting school next month, so I think he'll get enough friend time from that.

I didn't grow up with cousins. I'm totally normal. Okay... maybe not totally. But I certainly don't blame any of my issues on not having cousins. 

Divallyn

Our son will only have one cousin who is eight years his senior.