June 2012 Moms
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separation anxiety

Hey ladies, I've been MIA for a few weeks. Anywho, DD is going through some crazy separation anxetiy right now. She cries and screams unless I'm holding her. If she even sees me in another room she walks over and starts crying if I don't pick her up immediately. I love her to bits, but I also have to get things done. This morning I hid in the bathroom for 10 minutes just to get a bit of peace before work **hangs head in shame**.

Are we still in the "you can't spoil a baby phase"? Or am I just reinforcing her whining? This will get better, right??

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Re: separation anxiety

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    DS is going through some of this, and he's with me all dang day, for Pete's sake! I blame his on teething right now, and I usually try to pick him up. There are definitely times when I try to finish whatever I'm doing, but there are also times when I have to let go of my "need" to finish things (thus the half-washed crock pot in my sink right now). Don't feel bad about needing a break. I hid in the laundry room for 10 minutes just to get a good cry out today.
                 

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    DD is clingier too. She holds my legs and climbs up me all the time. I don't think they are past the "can't be spoiled stage" yet. I have been explaining things a lot to her - she calms down even though she probably doesn't understand all I am saying.
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    acbfreire said:
    DD is clingier too. She holds my legs and climbs up me all the time. I don't think they are past the "can't be spoiled stage" yet. I have been explaining things a lot to her - she calms down even though she probably doesn't understand all I am saying.
    I agree to an extent, but I think some things are out. He can be clingy but if he is tired and inconsolable that's different. He was being a grumpy pants and wouldnt sleep so he got put in his PnP for the first time ever to take a nap. Not in a trouble way, but if he couldnt settle himself down, mom needs to help. If he hits me, he gets put down. If he hits our rat and laughs, rat goes back in the cage and he gets told we dont make friends when we're mean.

    I dont know how to fix clingy. He has been clingy as well. I just try to remember that they are barely babies any more and I will miss this one day... today is not that day... but someday.
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    acbfreire said:
    DD is clingier too. She holds my legs and climbs up me all the time. I don't think they are past the "can't be spoiled stage" yet. I have been explaining things a lot to her - she calms down even though she probably doesn't understand all I am saying.
    I agree to an extent, but I think some things are out. He can be clingy but if he is tired and inconsolable that's different. He was being a grumpy pants and wouldnt sleep so he got put in his PnP for the first time ever to take a nap. Not in a trouble way, but if he couldnt settle himself down, mom needs to help. If he hits me, he gets put down. If he hits our rat and laughs, rat goes back in the cage and he gets told we dont make friends when we're mean.

    I dont know how to fix clingy. He has been clingy as well. I just try to remember that they are barely babies any more and I will miss this one day... today is not that day... but someday.
    Yeah, DD is also in a hitting phase. She hits and then says "No". So, she knows that the word "No" is associated with hitting, but hasn't quite made the connection that it means stop. I put her down if she hits. Sigh, thanks ladies!
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    When DS gets clingy, I usually pick him up and continue what I'm doing (as long as I'm not cooking or something). He usually gets tired of that pretty quickly and wants down to do something more interesting. Like acb, after I pick him up, I tell him I need to finish whatever and he's usually okay.

    Or if I've got like raw chicken on my hands, I tell him I can't pick him up right now and explain why (have to stir this, hands are dirty, whatever) but I will in a minute and I go back to him even if he's done crying. Just so he knows I mean what I say, you know? I don't think they can be spoiled right now. I don't drop everything just because he makes a peep, but if I can manage to go to him or pick him up and continue what I'm doing and explain that we have to abc because xyz, I do (even if it's something like we have to sweep so the house stays clean). And hopefully as he gets older and understands more and more, he'll get the concept of waiting for a minute when he has to.
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    We are having trouble with this as well. He's not clingy he just wants to be involved in everything. He doesn't understand why mom can't hold him and vacuum at the same time anymore so he tries to latch on to my leg.

    Certain things are off limits. He does not get to come to the bathroom with mama. I shut the door and he whines on the other side. He usually is playing in the living room when I come out. He knows how to entertain himself he just has to be forced to do it sometimes.

    When I'm vacuuming, doing the dishes, folding laundry I try to tell him I need his help and give him a broom or towels so that he feels involved. He is a toddler now and has to learn that something's can't just be stopped because that's what he wants. As soon as I am done, even if he was whining the whole time, I say thank you for waiting now mom can play. I know he understands "wait" because the other day DH was trying to get his farm clothes off before picking up DS and DS stood at his feet and signed wait until DH had gotten changed.

    I don't think they can be spoiled yet but I also don't think dropping everything to do what he wants is healthy either. We have tried to find a happy medium in involvement and patience then attention.
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    @thatoneredhead I LOVE that you have a pet rat. I did when I was a kid. It would ride on my shoulder and run back up the ladder to the cage when it had to go potty. They are so smart and actually enjoy being held; so much better than a hamster IMO.
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    DawnLilly said:
    @thatoneredhead I LOVE that you have a pet rat. I did when I was a kid. It would ride on my shoulder and run back up the ladder to the cage when it had to go potty. They are so smart and actually enjoy being held; so much better than a hamster IMO.
    We love him! he is so fun. I had a hamster when I was a kid and it was pretty much a furry fish. Our little guy is so sweet! Jack knows who "Richie" is and will go to his cage when you ask where he is but today he said "CheeChee" after I was prompting him to say hi.
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    I went and checked and we are on a Wonder Week again... Hang in there everyone!
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    Update:
    Thanks for all your replies ladies! As a follow up, she had been super clingy/whiny. I chalked it up to separation anxiety. What I failed to connect was that for the previous week, due to vacation travel, her sleep had been so horrible. Then on Thursday night, she finally got a good night's sleep. Friday morning, she was a whole new child. No whining, no clinging, just a happy little lady. Poor kid was just exhausted! 
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