paying mom for childcare

blushingbride_08

I will be working part time from home and will have occasional meetings to attend. I am planning to ask my mom to babysit my lo when I have meetings. I feel like I should give her money although I know she wouldn't ask for it. What is a good rate to give her or should I offer to compensate her in other ways like dinner or something?

iwantnoworld

I feel like if you know she won't take money, you can find other little ways to show your gratitude, such as making her dinner like you suggested. That way you can "compensate" her without the awkwardness of trying to get her to take money. Maybe keeping stocked up with her favorite snacks, etc. I'm sure there are non-food things, those just seem the easiest.
ETA My grandmother watches DS for free, so I always keep Dt Mountain Dew and chocolate bars for her sweet tooth lol.

Karla CS

My mom lives pretty far away, so she's never been an option for us, but with my nephews, she would always get really insulted when my sister tried to pay her. But she was always happy to see a carton of her favorite cookies, a gift certificate to the bowling alley, the next book in her favorite series, etc. 

ccam

I would offer the money, but my Mom would never take it.  I'd pay her in other ways like occasional gifts from the LO or a really nice birthday gift or pick up dinner on the way home... something like that.

jd614

If she wont take the money, agree with PP about thanking her in other ways (small gifts/gift certificate for mani/pedi etc).  My MIL watches DS twice a week and we pay her half what we would pay a nanny or a sitter (she needs the money and specifically only works part time so she can watch DS which is so nice)..so it may differ with where you are from but we pay her $60/day (would pay a nanny $120).

LoCarb

Agree with others. I would offer gas money and other incentives/gifts.  You have a great set up!

RachieTK

My parents pick DS up from daycare 1-2 x per week and watch him about once a month on a weekend night for date night. They'd never take money and would be insulted if I offered. On the weekdays, my dad usually makes dinner it is ready when DH and I grt hime, while my mom plays with DS and does my laundry. We get them really nice birthday and anniversary gifts!!

DiveFrog

My parents actually live with us currently and watch DD full-time. They also do a LOT of errands for us and my Dad does the laundry and does yard work sometimes too. They absolutely refuse to take money from us. But, I know a nanny in our area would run at least $1500-2000/month or $75-100/day.

As others have mentioned we buy them very nice birthday, anniversary and Christmas gifts and this year are paying for a nice vacation for them, but most of all what they appreciate the most is that we help them too! We have done and continue to do a lot of work around their two houses. Running electrical, installing windows, laying floors, painting, building and repairing decks and helping them move furniture and boxes.  

In your case I would definitely not assume they won't accept money. I would start by making a fair offer based on rates in your area for similar type care. If they refuse, then decide how to compensate them in a way they would accept and appreciate the most.

 

costa2011

As some PP have said, if she is not going to accept money, I would do something else creative and nice for her. If you feel obligated to give money, I would only give what it would cost to feed your child, etc.

ss+el

My parents babysit DS frequently - only 1-2x per month right now but often 1-2x per week in the past. We take them out to eat occasionally or when we had a diaper bag, I'd throw in a restaurant gift card once in a while.

skibunny59

iwantnoworld said:

I feel like if you know she won't take money, you can find other little ways to show your gratitude, such as making her dinner like you suggested. That way you can "compensate" her without the awkwardness of trying to get her to take money. Maybe keeping stocked up with her favorite snacks, etc. I'm sure there are non-food things, those just seem the easiest. ETA My grandmother watches DS for free, so I always keep Dt Mountain Dew and chocolate bars for her sweet tooth lol.

This!  My mom watches DD while we're at work.  She won't take any money from us so we pay for the cellphone instead.  We are all on a family plan (me, DH, my mom and dad) so I get the bill anyway and I just pay the whole thing

StayingSecret

If it really is just occasional (like not even every week) and she doesn't want paid, then just bring her stuff: meals, a watermelon (my friend loves that when I pick one up for her from the Farmer's Market instead of the grocery store), gift certificates for dinner, whatever she does like.

plusoneblog

My Mom is currently watching my baby part time, I have offered to pay her but she refuses, saying instead we should use that money to save up to buy a bigger house.

What I've done instead is have food in my house for her to eat, buy her shoes, accessories, take her out to meals, etc. We also help her with some chores at her house, such as assembling new furniture, moving things around, etc.