Late Term and Child Loss

Is it just me?

BrandiLeigh5BrandiLeigh5 member
edited August 2013 in Late Term and Child Loss

** Child mentioned**


I went on a camping trip this weekend with my family. It was for adults only.  My sister kept saying over and over again how much she missed her son (who is usually at his dads house on the weekends anyway) For some reason hearing that made my heart sink.  I had to hear about how much she missed her son who she was going to see the next day! I wanted to look at her and just yell are you kidding me? Do you have any idea how much I miss my sons and I will NEVER get to see them again in this lifetime? But I was able to refrain.  

You would think because she is my sister and she has been through the whole traumatic experience of losing her nephews she would tread lightly with her words.  At least I know if the situation were reversed (I would never wish losing a child upon anyone) but I would tread VERY lightly.  Sorry just ranting.  Does this bother anyone else when they hear that? or am I going overboard?

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Re: Is it just me?

  • ** Also I have tried to change my avitar and tickers several times, but I  cant get it to work** I have actually been refraining from posting or commenting on anything because of it :-<
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  • I can completely see how her words could be hurtful. The sad truth is, other people seem to move in very quickly, and often forget that we are still grieving and don't think before they speak.

    You are such a strong person for not saying anything, I don't know I would have been able to keep quiet. I am so sorry you had to deal those kind of comments.
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  • I'm sorry you had to hear that, I wish people would realize what they are saying around us.

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  • I agree, other people move on more quickly, and they do not think about the fact that this still effects you every moment of every day. It is harder when the words come from people who are close, who also experienced the loss as a family member.  

    It is so hard not to say something. Perhaps there may be an appropriate time when you sister may use words like this, to just gently remind her what you are going through. My sister would never intentionally hurt me, and would want to know when she stepped over the boundary.
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  • It hurts me to hear others say things like that also. I now also find myself not caring about others "big drama", like I have a freind that is so stressed about her wedding and she keeps complaining about things that are so minor in the grand scheme of things. I know its a big deal to her and a big event in her life but at the end of the day, nothing really matters except for your family and friends. Events come and go and so do things. Not a big deal anymore to me.

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  • That would rip me apart. I'd probably also yell at her haha. It's so hard.
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  • I am so sorry. Sometimes people just don't think. I know in every conversation, it easily goes there for us and I wish other people just got it too. I just had a very simile situation with my sister (who took my loss very hard too). She was talking about her daughter turning five and starting school and just kept saying, "I am not looking forward to her growing up and becoming a little girl and going to school and doing little girl things." I just wanted to scream at her and say "at least she gets to grow up!". I just started crying and had to hang up the phone. So, I know how you feel and just wish that everyone thought about how hurtful their complaints could be to us who don't have the chance to complain. Hang in there. :-)
  • ***SIGGY/child mentioned***

    Even though I have DS, I also tread lightly around other loss moms regarding talking about him. It bugs me when other moms are like that; I know people outside of our loss circle move on so much quicker than we do, but I wish time would freeze for a bit so that people would just understand to tread lightly so that we can still heal.

    You are strong for not saying anything. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. I try not to say anything when I'm situations like that, but my face says it all most times. *hugs*


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  • I don't blame you at all. It's extremely rude and insensitive of your sister to say those things in front of you. I would tell her that it bothers you, because she is clearly clueless. Ugh. I'm sorry! Hugs to you!!!

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