I'm sad and nervous....

smiling76

I am so sad and so stressed right now. I have been blessed to have a great work arrangement where I also get to be a part time sahm. It's been great getting the same one on one time with ds2 as I did with ds1. But now that ds1 takes the bus for kindy I need to be there to get him on and off and help with homework and such. So I have to switch my schedule so I'm there every day meaning now I'll be working every day instead of three days a wk. And need to put ds2 in daycare 5 days a wk. I will just work shorter hours each day.

I'm seriously in tears over this. They grow up so fast. I know I'm going to miss so much only having a short time in the evenings. My ds1 has some developmental issues so it's nice to have this special time where ds2 isn't listening to me handling the behavior issues ds1 has. It's all complicated.

I just do t know what else to do. What sucks is that dh only works half a yr but we never know when. I feel like I give up so much of me and my family for HIM and he doesn't appreciate it at all. He thinks he's done me a favor by allowing me to only work part time. Lol. I keep hinting that may e me working doesnt make sense since now well pay $10k in child care but he doesn't get it. Another part of me is afraid of giving up my job because quite honestly I'm not sure where our marriage is. Counseling not helping. And I do have a good job with decent $. Hard to give that up not knowing the future.

I just needed to vent I guess. If you have any insight, would love it. I really loved having two full days to spend with ds2 plus get house stuff done. Ugh.

pastalady

Um ,yeah I would be having a serious talk with DH. Why does he work half the year? Is he seasonal? Does he collect unemployment when he is off? Why would your child need daycare for the time your DH is off? Worst case your DS is in for half the year but I see how that can mess up routines, etc.

smiling76

We have chatted and he's very non responsive. Just not a nurturing person and somewhat selfish. I'm really seeing it now that we have kids thus the "marriage issues" I mentioned. It stinks. . Having said that, his work is in the trades and so he's laid off a lot in between jobs. He does get special unemployment for that. But we never know when he's going back and sometimes only get a few hours notice so it's tough to yank him out of daycare and put him in again. One, we'd have to pay even if he's not there and secondly, routines and last, dh honestly doesn't want them home. Sad but true. He loves them but isn't willing to give up stuff to do it. I remind him often how lucky he is. He seriously does not get it.

smiling76

His current job is kind of his dream job. It was a career change after we got married. Not an issue before kids but is now. He makes very good $ when he's working so a career change in terms of money would be tough.

He just doesn't "get" the sacrifice I'm making even though I've tried to explain it. I'm so stressed juggling it all and have constant migraines. It's horrible. The only alternative (separation) he won't do and also won't help the situation with my job and the kids. It would only make it worse.

mylittlesunshine

Why not look into getting a nanny or something like that?

Honestly though, your DH needs to step up. Too bad if he "just doesn't want them home". Part of being a parent (and adult) is making sacrifices and being inconvenienced sometimes.