Eating issues 16 month old (14 mo adjusted)

Rdonald02

Hi all,

I've read through so many other posts to try to find advice on my daughters eating issues but nothing really is exactly what we're dealing with. My daughter is 16 months today; she was a preemie as I had her at 30 weeks weighing 2 lbs 11oz. She picked up on bottle feeding very quickly while in the NICU and was able to go home within 30 days. She didn't take well to breastfeeding so I exclusively pumped for 5 months, and then we switched to formula.

We tried introducing baby food when she was about 8 months, 6 months adjusted. She hated it. All of it. We offered it every day for months, all kinds of different flavors, brands, textures... we wasted so much money trying to find something she liked but she never ever liked any of it. Our ped said that some babies just don't like baby food and skip straight to table food. So I continued to feed her the bottle of formula. Fast forward to now, we haven't made much progress. She still has about 20-24oz of formula a day. The only things she likes to eat are all kinds of crackers, chicken nuggets, fish sticks, french fries, pizza, cheese crisps... I started making fruit smoothies and putting spinach, cucumber, and other veggies in there which she does really like. But that's the only way she will eat fruits and veggies. There was a small period of time where she would eat pieces of fruit, but not anymore.

What I need advice on is how to deal with her refusal to eat. The ped and her daycare says that if I keep feeding her a bottle, she will never eat the table food because she will be full. And they say kids won't starve themselves, eventually they will eat. Well she is laying here as I type on the floor crying because I know she is hungry. It's literally breaking my heart and I feel so awful. But I just tried to feed her some pasta in tomato sauce, and some applesauce, and she took about 2 bites and refused anymore. I waited and tried again but she refused. It I do manage to get her to take another bite, she'll immediately spit it out. I don't try to force feed her because I don't want her to associate eating with fear or a struggle, I want eating to be a pleasant experience... I also heard that I shouldn't offer her a bunch of different things at meal times because she'll learn to just refuse to eat until I fioffer her what she wants. I don't want to create bad habits or create a super picky eater, I want her to know that at meal time we eat what is offered. We've tried feeding her ourselves, giving her control of the food, putting it on her tray,sitting her in her high chair with us at the table while we eat, putting her in her bumbo and sitting her on a chair so she can be just like us... nothing works. It's even worse at daycare. I thought she would eventually see the other kids eating and do like them, but she will not eat anything there except crackers. She hates everything.

What am I doing wrong? Today she hasn't had a bottle yet because I'm trying to hard to not fill her up on formula so she will eat. But all she does is cry. This morning she did eat about half of a waffle and some of that banana/zuchinni squeeze pouch stuff (which she likes some days and others not)... other than that all she's had today is crackers. At what point do I give in?? When will it get better? Seeing my little girl crying her eyes out because she is hungry is the worst feeling ever.

Rdonald02

Thanks DaisyBlinks! I guess I know I'm not doing anything wrong necessarily, but it kind of feels like it when your daycare is pushing so hard to get her off the bottle, and all of my friends with kids around the same age are eating everything in sight since they were like 9 months. I know you shouldn't compare your kid to others but it's hard. The daycare keeps telling me she should be done with bottles by now and they say it like it's such a bad thing and it's hard not to take personal.... and I want to be like, well she's not done, I don't know what to tell you! 

And I agree that I could do a lot with the stuff she does eat. I think I will try that. I was just worried that by feeding her only those things time after time, she's going to get older and be one of those kids that will ONLY eat chicken nuggets and fries everyday, causing her nutrition be a constant struggle for years and years.

She doesn't seem to like milk alone, but I have mixed it with her formula to try to slowly get her used to it, so I suppose I can just continue that. Honestly, one of my worries is that she's already so small. She was a preemie so she is basically 14 months old, and she's tall but she still wears 6 month size clothes. She's almost 19 lbs and the ped is not worried about her size or any other developmental milestones, but I'm worried that without a decent diet she's going to lose weight. I guess it's not like that would be permanent. Maybe I just worry too much. :-/

Anyway. Thanks for your reply! It just helps to talk to other moms about it. I think our kiddos are like exactly the same age!  

blu-eyedwife

2 other points: 1) it's okay for her not to have a meal or two. I mean, it's obviously not ideal, but the point of the phrase "she won't starve" just means she won't go for days without eating. If there are certain foods she likes, and she knows she gets them, even when hungry she won't eat until she knows she's not going to get what she's used to. 2) I agree with @DaisyBlinks that she's not doing all that poorly with food, she does eat, just not a variety. I would play with what you know she likes to increase that variety. If she likes chicken nuggets, you can try coating veggies like zucchini or green beans with breadcrumbs and baking until crispy like nuggets. (bonus if you use egg whites to get the breadcrumbs to stick- protein!) Instead of French fries, maybe turnip, carrot, or sweet potato sticks cut and baked like French fries. And pizza is an excellent gateway food since you can top it with so many different things like meats and veggies (for a time I could only get my son to eat spinach if it was on a pizza or in a quiche)

PsyDr04

I think you're handling things well, but let me caution you on the whole "kids won't starve themselves" line of thinking. While that is true for the majority of kids, it doesn't apply to every child. Case in point, my DS. He ate very little up until about 3 weeks ago (he's 20 months tomorrow). We have come to the conclusion that he has a milk protein intolerance and have cut out all dairy in the last 3 weeks and have noticed a HUGE difference in how much he eats. He still isn't gaining weight like we would like him to (he's only about 20.5 pounds and has been that weight for a few months now) but it is hard to replace those calories he was getting from dairy. True, he wasn't starving himself per se, but he wasn't eating a lot. Now we know it was because his tummy hurt a lot - he was constantly bloated and every day was full of stress and anxiety to see how much he would eat. Then he started throwing up and we knew something was up. So...my advice is, yes don't make eating times a battle but consider that there may be a reason she is being so picky.

StacyJYay

My LO didn't eat solids (purees or table foods) until 16 months old, and he was full-term!  For him, it was just a developmental issue.  He simply wasn't ready or interested before then, and no amount of cutting back on the bottle prompted him to eat.  I kept offering foods but still provided bottles (half Pediasure with Fiber, half whole milk) until he ate enough solids on a consistent basis.  He's now 21-months old and a good eater!  There *is* hope.    (One last thought:  If you have any food sensory concerns or mechanics concerns regarding chewing/swallowing, definitely get those checked out.)  Good luck, and I totally understand your concerns. 

Nel11

It sounds like you are doing everything right, and I agree with most of what the others have posted.  If it were me, I think I would concentrate on cutting the bottles and/or adding whole milk into her diet.  Can you gradually reduce the amount of formula she drinks per day, maybe by dropping an ounce or two from each bottle and going from there?  It seems less traumatic than just dropping them all together.  For the whole milk, I would offer just milk in a sippy either with a meal or in lieu of a bottle.  If she isn't a fan of the taste, mix formula and milk and give that to her in a sippy.  Maybe half/half or even 75% formula/25% milk to start. 

My only other thoughts are to a) definitely investigate any allergies/intolerances if you are worried about that, and b) try to think of her nutrition over the course of a few days, rather than just one meal or even one day.  Sometimes I get worried that my DD is eating too much, or too little, of a particular food, but if I look at her eating over the course of the week, I realize that everything tends to even out.

GL!

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JWest07

I have found greek yogurt to be a favorite for my son.  I try to make sure he gets one every day, it's packed with good nutrition.

mnb311

OP hang in there!! I could have written this post myself.  My LOL was premie as well, 33 weeker and he has always had eating issues.  He also had severe acid reflux and milk and soy protein intolerance.  I think you are doing a great job, your LO is eating a lot better than mine!   He NEVER wants to eat, he would rather do anything else than eat.  Lately he's been pretty much surviving off of saltines and cheezit crackers.  And that is actually an improvement.  We went to feeding therapy every week for 4 months which really really helped because he had issues with chewing and his gag reflex was hyper sensitive.  He wouldn't chew food he would just try to swallow it right away and then end up gagging/choking/throwing up.  He has come a longggg way and can eat hard things like crackers cookies and toast but he still gags easily especially on fruits/veggies so I have to still give him purees to get some healthy stuff in him.  Also he doesn't seem to like mushy/squishy/slimy stuff, maybe a sensory issue I dnno.  Anyway, you're not alone and if you think feeding therapy would help you should ask your ped for a referral.

aquariogirl

Hi there! My lo is also a preemie, 31 weeks, 16 months now. We also struggle w feeding issues. He had bad reflux so that didn't help. It was hard to get him to eat solids and tried many diff things including different speech therapists. Finally a doctor told me to cut down his formula and make him hungry, well that worked and he started eating solids (baby homemade purees) he eats a variety of things now and I had some ST help. We still have difficulties w eating time and I hear you when you say eating should be a pleasant experience. Definitely you don't want to have him associate eating as negative. Im working on the same. If he refuses a healthy meal once try it again. Our St said sometimes you try up to 21 times to find out if your baby won't like it.