Feeling Conflicted (long, sorry!)

JennaNAaron

My husband and I have had two foster children placed with us for 13 months now.  We've had some concerns about the situation regarding their birth parents for awhile.  We've voiced our concerns to their worker, the supervisor, and our previous licensing worker.  The first two basically ignored us and our licensing worker expressed our concerns and was brushed off.  Recently we've had a third child placed with us.  After experiencing her worker and telling her some of the details from the two smaller childrens case, she also voiced that it shouldn't be that way, but said that unfortunately with that particular supervisor that it's not surprising.

We've also realized that the multiple workers that the two younger kids have had are not doing their job.  They rarely come visit our home, ask us zero questions about the kids, and basically seem oblivious to the giant issue at hand regarding the birth parents.

The guardian ad litem has acknowledged similar concerns, but when she addressed them she was told there was nothing to be concerned about.  She has basically given up, and just says "well I guess we'll see how they do after they go home..."

We really feel like there is very little care for the children, and mostly a rush to get them off their case load.

Earlier this week I sent an email to our new licensing worker expressing our concerns.  I asked who we can go to about them.  I also expressed that we aren't trying to effect the case plan or "keep" the kids, just trying to advocate for them.  She has not responded to my email or to phone messages.  I know they are all super busy, but there is a court hearing next week.  We're feeling really conflicted about whether just to drop it and pray for the best or try and pursue it.  We don't want to be seen as causing trouble and give them a reason to pull the kids out of our home, so I feel like we're on thin ice.

 

Advice?

Dr.Loretta

Granted I'm not as familiar with foster care, but is there an option to write a letter to the judge and present it at court?

lizlemon2

I say with children, speaking up is always better no matter how high up the ladder you have to go. Do you know if your state has something like a complaint/Ombudsman? People get moving after calls to them. Or a foster care liason? They shouldn't dismiss your concerns. It seems you really care, and it is sad that they are not being responsive.
I am A CpS worker and foster adoptive parent in MA. The system can be very frustrating at times !!

JennaNAaron

Dr.Loretta said:

Granted I'm not as familiar with foster care, but is there an option to write a letter to the judge and present it at court?

We talked about doing this, but it was advised to us that this would upset DSS and they may pull the kids out of our house if they are upset.

elissaann26

My opinion is that part of being a foster parent is to advocate for the child even when DSS doesn't want you to.  The children deserve for someone to look out for their best interest and if DSS wasn't doing that job I would have regretted not stepping up to the plate.  We have gone to great lengths to advocate for children in our care.  We have been threatened to be black listed and to have the children removed from our home.  But we keep asking for DSS to explain how x,y and z are in the child's best interest.  When we are given no answer, then we keep on pushing.  If the child's safety or health is in jeopardy, I would go straight to the top (Direct of Child Welfare in our case).  Or I would keep marching up the org chart.  I would flat out ask social workers what their boss's contact information was.  Surprising how sometimes that question would change things.

Since court is coming up so quickly, I would recommend writing a letter to the judge or speaking with the judge in chambers if there is a possibility that custody might return to the birth parents.  I realize there are risks with this approach, but you need to weigh the regret that would come with doing nothing and what you are comfortable with.  That answer may be different for all of us.

Hang in there!

nrcross

I would keep advocating for your children until someone listens. These kids are lucky to have you. Sorry I don't know more to tell you who to talk to.

avioletsky

We had a specific document where we could write progress, etc to the special master. It gets filed. Also, our FD who was older wanted to write a latter to him as well. He was so wonderful that he requested to meet with her. I feel it was very empowering for FD.