pissed.

20thirteen

I know I shouldn't be as angry as I am since this is what I chose to do, but I just can't help it.  I wouldn't change anything, though.  I refuse to collect CS from BD because there is NO WAY I would allow him visitation.  Even though he hasn't contacted me since about a month ago, if he changes his mind, I want him to feel the consequences of his actions.  However, during my maternity leave, the short term disability payments docked me $200 and then I ran out of PTO which docked another $200 from my pay.  When I returned to work, my HR lady told me that the firm had covered my insurance payments when my PTO ran out and therefore I had to pay it back.  I have to pay $450 back to the firm for the first 3 paychecks back.  The first one I got was $180.  Daycare tuition is due next week and it's $330. My car payment is $225. My car insurance lapsed because I couldn't pay (SafeAuto automatically cancels if you don't pay one month).  I have to ask my parents for help which is so embarrassing.

And what is BD doing? Selling stolen bikes and drugs to support his drug addicted girlfriend and her 1yr old.  Fuck that guy.  I've never wanted to hit anyone with car so badly in my life. Oh, and his girlfriend (who by the way I blocked from facebook, her and BD) posts things on facebook to make me jealous of them.  My friend told me how grossed out she was because of the content.  For example, a screen shot of a text about how he wanted to "plow" her butt (in more colorful terms) and the caption was "this is how we flirt! "  That doesn't make me jealous, that makes me so happy that he's not here.  Actually, it makes me a little grossed out, but still happy I'm without that piece of shit.

I'm just angry that I will be hurting financially for the next few months to make up for the debts I have to create in order to get by.

Not looking for advice, just needed to vent.  I feel much better now.

HisChamaoleGirl

Roxalot said:

  I refuse to collect CS from BD because there is NO WAY I would allow him visitation.

Did I miss something, but since when did CS automatically mean visitation? Those are two separate issues.

erikamariaxo

you definitely need to file for CS.. don't allow him to get away with this while you are struggling! best of luck

EarthandFire

CS and visitation are two separate issues. Generally if the state goes for CS visitation won't be assigned but from what I've seen when CS is sought in a civil cases it seems like the courts address both. I'm sure there are acceptions. I usually support custodial parents filing for CS however there are cases I understand why not.

@Roxalot You're BD sounds like my GD. Bottom line he hit me. He's had charges recently pursued against him for abuse. I've been told if I go for CS he'll take me to court for visitation. He has a sugar mama and no job. Her income is not accountable for CS. The $50\month minimum isn't worth it for the harm he could inflict. For you, you're BD likely has no income on record. He deals in cash so there's probably no real way to show his real income therefore you'd probably receive your states minimum. I can see why it's not worth it for you with a BD who's a drug addict and a felon. I know it's hard right now but from someone who's been close to where you are, it gets easier and it's so worth it.

20thirteen

Sorry, I should've said that if I filed, he would file for visitation and as long as I'm not going after him for money, he won't try to visit her.