So worried

Jarethcat

I have been struggling with anxiety/depression since i was 16 years old.  Im 23 going on 24 now and have been seeing a counselor for most of this time period.  not always the same one though.  

I am set to induce on wednesday and i am so worried that i wont be able to care for my child.  

I fear so much especially after having dreams of throwing my kid down the stairwell into the basement and just walking away.  or there are days when i just sit in my recliner staring into space not responding to anything.  

I will keep my appointments with my counselor of course, but i really just needed to share this more than anything i guess.  

MoofyKitten

Oh my gosh, I definitely know how this feels. I've had bouts with depression/anxiety since I was 12 and my most recent was last year and lasted for months on end before I found my way out of it. Any time during my pregnancy that I was having a hard time dealing with symptoms I'd lose it for a while and just cry every day but I was hoping that it was hormones that were just making me overly emotional. Now that LO will come any day I am constantly scared that I won't be able to handle it. Whenever I express this fear to DH, he just says I'll be fine and that I can do it, he won't let me fail. For some reason, this doesn't give me a lot of confidence. I feel like, despite that fact that he knows I have a history with anxiety and depression, he will refuse to see if I have PPD.

I mean, it's all really worry at this point so I'm staying positive. I feel great atm. But believe me, I'm here with you on the concern. It's good that you're seeing a counselor. Just don't get down on yourself already. I've had dreams my baby was a monster that ripped its way out of me. Don't be too scared of your dreams, tons of people have vivid and terrifying dreams in pregnancy.