Guest List Dilema

cmwilson316

Ladies,

I will post this knowing I may get some negative responses but I need honest opinions....

I was asked by my host to put together a guest list for my shower. DH and I both have large families so there are lots of relatives on either side plus I have some friends to invite as well. After doing the guest list of family and a couple long time family friends my list has grown to 58 people. This does include children. My host nor either grandma or myself have the space to accomodate all of those people and renting a room is not in the budget. My thoughts were to weed out the guest list and only including family and friends we (DH & I) are closest to and eliminating those who are invited simply based on being related. Is this wrong? I just feel like I should share this with those we are close to rather than inviting everyone in the family. It's like saying "hey, I know we don't talk or see eachother often but since we're related come to my baby shower and bring a gift"

What do you think???

 

sschwege

Is all of this family local?  Could you maybe weed it out by those who live farther away?  

cmwilson316

Yes, 97% of everone is local. I have 3 out of town guests only one of which is out of state.

EastCoastBride

cmwilson316 said:

My thoughts were to weed out the guest list and only including family and friends we (DH & I) are closest to and eliminating those who are invited simply based on being related. Is this wrong?  

This is perfectly fine.  THis is, to me, what showers SHOULD be!  They aren't a wedding.  They aren't an "invite everyone you know" event. 

A couple other thoughts - don't include kids.  I personally don't see a shower as a kid friendly event as it is. 

Also, you could make this shower just a "your family and friends" or "his family and friends" (depending on who the host is).  Just because someone offers to throw a shower doesn't mean they have to do both sides.  Someone from other side can step up and offer to throw a shower for that side.

Meery82

Darbie914 said:

I would weed down the guest list and invite those people who are nearest and dearest for you.  A baby shower isn't like a wedding where you should feel obligated to invite everyone you know.  A shower is more intimate so I think it would be in your best interest to cut some people from the list.

Agreed

RibbitGrl930

EastCoastBride said:

cmwilson316 said:

My thoughts were to weed out the guest list and only including family and friends we (DH & I) are closest to and eliminating those who are invited simply based on being related. Is this wrong?  

This is perfectly fine.  THis is, to me, what showers SHOULD be!  They aren't a wedding.  They aren't an "invite everyone you know" event. 

A couple other thoughts - don't include kids.  I personally don't see a shower as a kid friendly event as it is. 

Also, you could make this shower just a "your family and friends" or "his family and friends" (depending on who the host is).  Just because someone offers to throw a shower doesn't mean they have to do both sides.  Someone from other side can step up and offer to throw a shower for that side.

Precisely.

Nicolewinsbingo

I agree to nearest and dearest, but are you talking about like inviting 2 of 3 aunts? I think in cases life that, you're better to include everyone and instead split the families into 2 showers (one for dh's fam and one for yours).

Nicolewinsbingo

I say that because I know a family with 4 sisters and 3 brothers. One of the brothers is married so there's a SIL in the family too. The sisters regularly get together with each other and sometimes the mom but never invite the SIL because its "sister time". It comes off as SO bratty that they never include their SIL in any of the family lady events. In their minds they are probably just inviting those they "feel closest to" but really...she's family too and its so mean to always exclude her. (She's from out of state so her own mother and sister live states away). I say, be inclusive....its not okay to leave out one or two aunts or 1st cousins and invite the rest because you're closer to them, imo.

lollipoppoop

Sucks you can't have two showers

frantastic12

Really big showers are not fun.  I had a similar situation for my bridal shower, which was thrown by my MOH.  My family is huge and local (my parents are divorced and each is remarried), and I see them often.  The guest list for my shower was 55 (about 45 showed), and this was just my mom, stepmom, siblings, aunts, cousins, MIL and GMIL, and about 6 of my friends.  There really wasn't any way to cut it to nearest and dearest, since these are all people I see often. 

I had a couple other people offer to host a shower after my MOH offered, and I turned them down.  In hindsight, I wish I would have taken those people up on their offers and done a couple smaller showers instead.  I didn't have a chance to socialize with everyone at my shower, and I felt really rushed when opening gifts because there was a time limit at the venue. 

For a baby shower, a friend offered to do a friends-only shower (~12 ppl).  My mom and aunt have offered to do another shower, and the guest list I'm giving them will be for my mom's half of the family and a few family friends, plus MIL and GMIL (~19).  There hasn't been one planned for my dad/stepmom's family, but if no one offers, I'm just not going to have one with that side.

Ninjamama86

Ours is rather large too, mostly because its going to be co'ed so my DH could be involved, so my sisters are hosting it at a park close by. Cutting down the list is an option, but if you can't maybe you need a venue change?