OB/GYN Adoption Referrals?

I had my annual visit with my OB the other day, and she knows that we have decided to put IF treatments on hold to pursue IA.  She asked how it was going and I updated her that we are on the wait list for China and considering additional options while we wait.  She said that if we were considering domestic adoption, she often has pregnant patients forming adoption plans and hooks people up.  So if we were interested in meeting with someone she felt was a good match, she would introduce us and we would take it from there and I guess find a lawyer?  

This was a bit surprising to me, and I hadn't even thought of that as something that happens, so I told her I would discuss with DH and let her know if we are interested.

Has anyone done this?  It seemed a little fishy, but I have only been working with agencies so far so I don't know much about other options.

Thanks in advance for any insight/opinions!
TTC for 5 years, with 2 failed IUIs. Excited to grow our family through international adoption!
Lilypie Waiting to Adopt tickers

Be JOYFUL in HOPE, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. ~Romans 12:12

Re: OB/GYN Adoption Referrals?

  • I keep hearing that this is how things used to happen- but it seems weird to me and it seems a bit coercive--- I mean, your OB/GYN is certainly an authority figure- esp. when you've got your legs up in the stirrups---

    You can always take a referral from her and then work through an agency as an identified adoption.  That way you are hopefully ensuring that that the expectant family has access to adequate services and adequate counseling.
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    [Deleted User]
  • I would talk to your agency... HIPPA violations are what I keep thinking about. Even if she has a potential expectant parents who is writing an adoption plan she/he is under no authority to tell you any of this. Now, if you were to advertise and put something up at the office and a potential BM contacted you, that would be ok. EEK is all I have to say about this!
    Began the Adoption process 4/2013
    Home study Approved 12/2013
    .... and the wait begins! 

    maryoosamysticl[Deleted User]
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  • We considered pursuing this avenue. A doctor in my parents' town adopted a baby from one of his patients, and was open to having profiles in the office to show to women who wanted to make adoption plans. We were in discussions with an agency at the time, and they would have worked with us to do an identified adoption.

    Since you're working with an agency, if they handle domestic adoptions, I'd see what they have to say.

    GL! Intriguing option

  • I I would have your OB/GYN refer her to an attorney that you are working with. That way it is on the up and up and no worries about the patient being coerced or feeling she has to go through with it. 

    If that is the way the match happens, that is great. I'm learning with adoption, that it is going to happen one way or another and just let be. Maybe you will end up with two babies?
    Pursing Domestic Infant Adoption through a local agency. In the meantime, our dog is our baby.  Bumping from Portland, Oregon. 
  • The user and all related content has been deleted.
  • My gyn knows we are looking to adopt and has the name of our lawyer and her contact info. He said he can refer anyone who approaches him looking to form an adoption plan to her. He said he has had a few patients matched in the manner.

    ****SIGGY WARNING****

     Hashimoto's with irregular cycles  DH- 37 Severe oligoasthenoteratozoospermia

    TTC since May 2012

    HSG- all clear

    March 2014 - RE appt. 
    April 2014- Saline sono all's good, terrible SA results - 8 sperm found all abnormal
    May 2014- Fert Urology- Bilateral varicoceles, recommend Donor Sperm
    12/2014-  Surprise natural BFP  EDD 7/31/15 Plan:  Starting foster to adoption, natural cycles

  • My Ob/Gyn filled out my medical release form for our home study, but I didn't even think to ask them if they ever dealt with this - the nurse didn't mention anything so probably not.  Might be a good avenue to explore, though!  Especially if any doctors or clinics do any sort of outreach or programs designed to help underprivileged patients.
    Geaux Tigers!
    Me (35) DH (34) TTC #1 since 09/2009
    Dx: Unexplained IF 

    12/10 Clomid + IUI #1 - BFN; 2/11 Clomid + IUI #2 - BFN; 5/11 Clomid + IUI #3 - BFN; 8/11 Injectables + TI - BFN; 10/11 Injectables + IUI - BFN; 11/12 IVF - BFN; 08/13 Pursuing Domestic Infant Adoption
    02/16/14 Baby girl is home!!

  • @Pinkie78 it's odd in the sense that there is weird power dynamics at play-- so it's not weird so much as it's a question of ethics.
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • I've heard of this. While the situation can definitely get sticky, I think it's okay as long as everything is handled in a professional and legal manner.

    Started TTC July 2012. Missed m/c & d&c 9/12 11w. Natural m/c 1/13 6w. Chemical pgs 3/13 & 8/13 around 4w. Currently TTA while saving for adoption.

    “When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.” -Helen Keller
  • My lawyer said nurses & doctors are often the very best resouces! We adopted 2 newborns with zero hassle...
  • I asked my Ob/Gyn about sharing our profile to patients who indicate they were interested in adoption and she flat out said that they do not do this.  Which contradicts everything everyone says to do to get the word out that you are adopting. I can understand their stance on this but then I also think they shouldn't be allowed to refer an agency over another.  Also seems odd that this Dr wouldn't be more willing to help when they do not prescribe birth control to their patients.
    TTC #1 since 9/07
    Dx MFI, AMA, Endo, AMH .16
    Lap 10/09 Removed endometrioma, stage IV endo and adhesions
    Lap 2/10 Endometrioma cysts & adhesions returned.
    Ivf #1 4/10 Antagonist, ET Cancelled.
    IVF #2 2/11 A/ACP+E2V C/P
    IVF #3 6/11 Letrozole/Antagonist BFN
    IVF #4 11/11 Low stim Antagonist BFN
    Lap 3/12 Lap & Selective HSG
    Many cycles of Letrozole and LP HCG w/TI and LDN
    IVF #5 8/12 Low stim BFN
    IUI #1 10/12 BFN br> S&PAIFW
  • I am an OB nurse and have heard of this.  It can be a little fishy though, so you really have to be careful.  You typically can't go thru an agency as they will frown on you getting your own birth parent hook up. You could get an adoption lawyer and speak to them, but I would actually do this first before being hooked up with birth parents.  You don't want to do anything that could jeapardize things.  For example, I work in a hospital and almost every week we have someone that comes in and wants to give their baby up but doesn't have an adoption plan.  I am certified for adoption and foster and yet I can not approach or have someone else approach a patient about adopting their baby. So It can be very sticky.  I think it can be done just get a really good adoption lawyer first to make sure things are done right.  Good luck.
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