Late Term and Child Loss

First Day Back at Work...

...and no one said ANYTHING.  Nothing.  No one said "I'm sorry" or "How are you doing?" or "I've been thinking and praying for you...."  nothing.

I have seen a few co-workers over the summer, but I guess I was hoping the majority that I hadn't seen in months would say SOMETHING!  I'm sure that most don't know what to say so they figure it's better to not say anything, but it really hurt me.

The good news is I'm glad to be back at work - gives me a lot to concentrate and focus on and I really do love my job and students!

Thanks for letting me vent...
~ Leah, Rachel and Gabriel were born on May 27, 2013 (23 weeks) ~ Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers

Re: First Day Back at Work...

  • It is very hard to go back to work. I told a lot of people that saying nothing was more hurtful than a simple "Im sorry." Baby loss makes people so uncomfortable, its ridiculous. They cant even think about what they would say to someone who were to lose a close relative? Its just sad. Hope you continue to have some good days at work. 
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  • I know a lot of people feel bad because they just don't know what to say.  I hate the akwardness of it all.  Hopefully more co-workers will start to open up and I wouldnt be afraid to mention Leah, Rachel and Gabriel in conversations so they know that you are open to talk about it.


     TTC#1 since June 2011. 3 early losses before 6 weeks. Hope Olivia born and went to heaven July 26, 2013.

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  • Sorry they didn't say anything.  That does hurt more when people don't acknowledge our babies.  They were all here, real and important!  Most of the time they just don't know what to say and don't want to hurt you. I found that if I start talking about Brooke,  then they feel more comfortable and start talking about her also. Hope tomorrow is better. 

    Brooke Elizabeth born Feb 17, 2013 grew wings May 9, 2013 @ 11 weeks & 4 days old from SIDS



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  • hugs...I know how you feel. I had some people not acknowledge (and still haven't) either. Let me tell you this... your baby did matter. You are a mother, and I am so sorry. Those are things that were important for me to hear. (((hugs)))

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  • christie212BrittianyM you're right - If I talk more about Leah, Rachel and Gabriel, other people will realize it's OK to talk about them, too. 

    As I'm sure you know, sometimes I just wish other people would talk first...

    ~ Leah, Rachel and Gabriel were born on May 27, 2013 (23 weeks) ~ Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • ((hugs)) sucks when people don't acknowledge it, I try to remember that most of them just don't know what to say and aren't educated in that it is a good thing to bring it up.  I agree with PPs that maybe if you bring them up it will make others more comfortable with talking about it. 

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    I just wanted to say that when I returned to work after losing our first DD, nobody said anything. I later found out that the principal sent an email to all the faculty and parents telling them not to say anything so that it wouldn't upset me.

    Could something similar be going on? Maybe a boss sent an email asking your co-workers not to mention anything to you?

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  • VeilSdeGTO Back in the end of May, when I emailed my principal to tell let him know what happened, I also asked him to let my students and the staff know, which he did by forwarding my email. So, to my knowledge, nothing else was said (to my knowledge).

    I truly just think that because it's been a few months that I haven't seen them, they feel it's inappropriate to say anything.  I have had a couple co-workers say something today and yesterday and one did admit that he's not trying to offend me, he just doesn't know what to say and wants to just give me a huge hug, but doesn't want to get me upset as kids are walking in - I do appreciate things like that.

    Today was the first day with kids - and it was great.  I didn't realize how much I missed them.
    ~ Leah, Rachel and Gabriel were born on May 27, 2013 (23 weeks) ~ Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • I'm sorry no one acknowledged your loss. I've experienced the same. People fear that bringing it up will make you crying, and they don't realize we're ok talking about it. Hugs!!!

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